Can I win him back?

[Pastygurl]

Story is a bit complicated and I'll try to be succinct.

 

Basically I ended up not marrying him as I'm in a bit of a financial mess and might lose my flat and he took it as me not loving him enough to marry him.

 

We don't live together anymore now. He still has contact with me online everyday. He is still angry and hurt and he keeps arguing about how not marrying him right now means I don't love him like I think I do.

 

He says he doesn't think he can ever forgive me and that he needs to find someone who will love him for real. He also said it would take something really extraordinary on my part to make him come back. He told me I won't find a guy who cares about me more than he does. He didn't use the past tense.

 

Before he left my home he wanted to have sex, and he told me more than once he'd miss me a lot but he'd get over it.

So his words are all about not forgiving me, wanting to move on but I think he still loves me a lot and I do love him and I don't wanna break up.

What does his behaviour say to you? Thanks in advance.

[j.man]

I say leave it alone. Without knowing anything else about your relationship prior to this, I'd say your instincts were on point. While a lot of spouses to end up helping the other through a financial rut at one point or another, that's a terrible way to start a marriage. It's pretty important to get on equal footing, and if he can't appreciate that, you'd have to wonder how else he might disregard your desire to stand on your own two feet.

 

Then again, a lot depends on the execution when you do something like call off a wedding. How close were you to the date when you did it? Did you say simply "I don't think we should get married" or did you explicitly just suggest postponing it?