username33 Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 So let's start with some background information. My ex gf and I had been dating for almost a year. We had our ups and downs throughout the last year but in general we were pretty happy and very serious. We were each other's first loves and first committed sexual and emotionally relationship. We were each other's everything and she loved me to the ends of the world. Over the summer we were especially happy because we saw each other almost every day and things were fun. She was the most innocent, sweetest, loving person I had ever met. In fact the day before I went on vacation, my then girlfriend started balling because she didn't want me to leave and she was afraid something would happen to our relationship while I was gone, boy was she right. So it all started the day she got her license. She already had a car and she has been waiting to get her license for some time now. I was already away on vacation, leaving the previous day. After she got her license she began hanging out with her friends almost every day. Her mom doesn't care at all where she goes or if she's ever home so of course she would be out all the time. As a couple days passed I began to notice her and I not talking as much and as well as we used to. We used to text and call almost all day and she was so interested and happy in our conversations. After she got her car the conversations were dry and forced and no so often. That was the first change. Things really started to escalate a couple days later when her and her parents got into a huge fight and she was kicked out of her house. She then went to her best friend who had recently gotten back from Florida. Now this best friend wasn't the best influence on her. The best friend hadn't liked our relationship for a long time because she wanted my ex to be a wild party girl with her. She was the one who got my ex to try marijuana for the first time. So after this argument with her parents, my ex went to this best friend who I'm sure comforted her. The next day she was out all day with her best friend and barely talked to me. She also had begun telling me about this new friend she had made, a guy. This guy was into a lot of he same stuff she was and went to her school. She was telling me about how she wanted to hang out with him and how I shouldn't worry. This was a strange change to me because she would never hang out with any guy while we were dating, she had always rejected anyone who tried to. A couple days later I return home from vacation, still a little confused and bewildered by her recent behavior. I didn't think much of it until the day we hung out. She seemed distant and was speaking and acting differently. She seemed rushed to her home. Later that night she had told me that she was going on a walk......in the middle of the night? Didn't seem right to me so I asked her what was up and she admitted to lying to me. She was really out driving with the guy previously mentioned. I was shocked and I felt so angry and betrayed. I went to sleep that night very upset. The next morning I am still very mad and she texts me asking if we could talk, I act mad. She then goes off and ends it all. Claiming that she "doesn't want a relationship anymore" and that she "can't take anymore hurt". Naturally I was shell shocked by this and begged her to change her mind (I know that was a mistake). Might I add that this was the day before our 1 year anniversary. The next day we "celebrate" our anniversary by talking about what happened and what's going on. I realize that she is a completely changed person. She is distant, uncaring, sarcastic, and is acting quite shallow. All of this is a complete 180 from the girl I had fallen in love with and dated for so long. She admits to completely losing feelings for me while I was on vacation, which explains the strange behavior. She explains that she wants to experience sexual things with other guys and wants to be a free spirit and just have fun. I know this is natural and totally okay, but it's just not like her. I wonder if her best friend had a big part to do with this. That was about 2 weeks ago. Ever since then she has done sexual things with other guys, she is getting drunk and high more than 3 times a week (something she had only done a couple times ever before), and she is spending all of her time with her friends. Not paying any attention to the upcoming school year, her job, or her family. She especially has found interest in hanging out with lots of new boys and going to lots of parties, which she didn't do much as my girlfriend. She has completely changed as a person and I am just wondering why she lost feelings, why she is partying so much, and why she doesn't seem to care that it is hurting me so badly. Her friends don't seem to mind the change either. This leads me to believe that they encouraged her to break up with me and they influenced her into becoming this party girl because she would be "more fun". Now in the past two weeks she has apologized to me for treating me so badly and that however cannot change how she feels. She came to me one night sobbing after her friends argued with her and she felt like she "had no one left". She said that "she is in the darkest place of her life" and "that she cannot get out of this horrible state of mind". However, the next day she went out to have dinner with friends, drove around with only 4 other guys in her car, and went to a party where she got drunk and high. I am just so confused on how things such as her entire personality, her morals, and her feelings towards me can change so drastically in the span of 3 weeks. How can she just throw everything we had away over some partying? I know the best thing for me is to move on and give her space, after all she did kind of me over here and I don't want to be involved with a party girl like that. I just can't give up the thought of the girl I had loved for so long. I know this is a lot to take in, but some input would help a lot. Link to comment
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