Jealousy

[camwhite18]

Just ended my last relationship with a girl, but have a few questions and definetly curious, staying single for a bit, but for my next serious relationship I want to learn.

 

1) she voiced how she felt when I liked another girls photo on Instagram. The photo was at worst a bikini shot of a girl. I didn't even know I liked it, and I had no idea she would actually notice. She said it was "disrespectful" to her and that she would never like a photo of a guy with his shirt off, is this normal in relationships or is this a bit too much jealousy.

 

2)she was always big on expressing how she felt with me and told me what was bothering her, Especially when it came to me. All the times I took control and expressed to her how i felt, she would threaten to hang up the phone saying "I'm not Doing this again today" she would then say i always hurt her feelings and play the blame card. Moving forward in a new relationship, should i express how i feel to a girl with the chance of hurting them? I always tried to get her to see from my perspective and every Time i did, I hurt her feelings. Not going to lie I was heated, probably wasn't the most empathetic and didn't say it in the most charming voice.

 

3) she always brought up small errors I made. I grew up with in a dysfunctional family so my " manners" definetly weren't the greatest. I ALWAYS treated her good and always thought of her, I know i wasn't a bad bf at all because I had a previous relationship that lasted 2 years and she was still with me, But there's been times where she got upset over very small things, one time I let go of her hand to run to the washroom when she was in a crowd and she got really upset. The small things put this girl literally in a bad mood. I'm asking for the future, so do i have to be consciously aware of every little thing im doing with a girl. That sounds draining, and as an introverted guy, to be fully engaged every minute is extremely difficult. To be thinking of what I'm doing every minute, making sure I do all the small things right is exhausting. She even said that when you dont do the small things, like buy me a coffee without asking, it means a lot to me and I get upset over it. I always thought you shouldn't expect these things but when they happen, you should be happy it did. It seemed like this girl wanted this all the time.

 

4) this girl almost kept tallies of all the things I did wrong which is extremely confusing, she liked me so much but I always felt i was one mistake away from being dump, and I was sick of that feeling and ended it myself. My question is though is how can you like someone but be so aware of their faults and express their negatives all the time and expect them to be happy with you. I learnt a lot from this girl and will be a way better gentlemen in my next relationship.

[happyfrank]

I can understand her concerns with IG and social media. Post that you liked is also reflection on her because she is the girlfriend.

 

I agree with you. Walking on eggshells in a relationship is a terrible foundation for a relationship.

[camwhite18]

I can understand her concerns with IG and social media. Post that you liked is also reflection on her because she is the girlfriend.

 

I agree with you. Walking on eggshells in a relationship is a terrible foundation for a relationship.

Thanks for the reply, yeah I definetly wasn't perfect in the relationship, but walking on eggshells is exactly how im feeling.

[Starlight925]

Yeah, agree with happyfrank on both counts: You need to watch the SM stuff while in a relationship. Liking bikini photos slashes a girlfriend's security about herself, which in turn, brings out a jealous side of her. Sure, she should be more secure about herself, but don't give a girl reasons. You wouldn't love it (maybe you would, I don't know) if she liked photos of guys in Speedo's who had great "packages". Might cut into your security as a guy. Women are very competitive with each other re: their looks, and they analyze every single thing about themselves. So, if you like a girl's photo, the girl's first thought is how much prettier that girl is, etc.

 

However, having said that, onto your next topic: No, you should never have to walk on eggshells. No woman should ever correct you on the stuff that you do.

 

The only question I have is: when you let go of her hand to go to the bathroom, did you tell her you were going? Or did you just drop her hand and walk away? Or did you say that you had to go, and maybe she didn't hear you? She might have thought you just let go of her hand and walked away, which, yes, is considered rude. But if you said you had to use the bathroom, and you'll be back in 5 minutes, then I don't see the problem. My BF & I always tell each other, and then arrange a meeting place if it's crowded. Saying "Gotta use the restroom, but I'll meet you under this sign" or something.