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Thank you for reading. My question is--as an objective observer, do you think I have a chance with this man? Two days ago my boyfriend broke up with me after 2+ years of a good thing. We never fought, we were comfortable im being ourselves with each other, we traveled. I made a point of making special Wednesday dinners with desserts where we would just enjoy each other--no tv, every weekend we went on a date. I spent the weekends at his house. In short, it was good. Only crack in the veneer was we had decided to move in together a month before our 2 year anniversary and he changed his mind saying he was not ready. Admittedly, I became insecure and perhaps less open after this. Then, Sunday out of the blue he ended it. He says he was unsure if I was the one. That some days everything made sense and some days he was plagued with uncertainty. I was caught unawares and let him end it. We went on a walk the next day and I asked him if there was hope--he said not now but maybe in the future. I told him everything I had loved about him in our relationship and a couple of things I wish would have been different. He did the same. He said I made him a better man and that I was the sweetest person he had ever met, someone who got joy out of making others happy. The next day I texted him telling him that I didn't care about feeelings that come and go, but that him choosing to fall in love with me every morning was most important. I also told him I was going to seek counseling because I was taking it hard, and also because of some issues I had as a child with abuse. He told me he needed time and that in a month we will reconnect, but that if I needed to talk, he was there.

 

What do you think--do I have a chance with this wonderful man?

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I think texting him "You choosing to fall in love with me every morning" could be some of the problems your facing. He might not be falling in love with you every morning so It's probably not a good idea to let him know you think this. Give him some space because it sounds like date night wednesday with no tv and stuff has been suffocating him. I think maybe having a few more interests in your life will help you not only focus on him. Give the space thing a real chance with no contact from your end.

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Unfortunately, I think his sudden about face on moving in together was less of a crack and more of an explosion. It would appear he has been wrestling with doubts for a long long time. Long before he finally ended things and long before moving in together deal. Since it was so long drawn out and thought out, I honestly doubt there is any chance. In your shoes, I'd assume there is none, expect nothing and work hard on moving on. Deal whatever issues you say you need to address and so on. That way if he does actually return at some point, you'll be in a different place yourself and better able to look objectively if he is someone you want back and if there was more missing in your relationship with him than you realize at the moment.

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Unfortunately, I think his sudden about face on moving in together was less of a crack and more of an explosion. It would appear he has been wrestling with doubts for a long long time. Long before he finally ended things and long before moving in together deal. Since it was so long drawn out and thought out, I honestly doubt there is any chance. In your shoes, I'd assume there is none, expect nothing and work hard on moving on. Deal whatever issues you say you need to address and so on. That way if he does actually return at some point, you'll be in a different place yourself and better able to look objectively if he is someone you want back and if there was more missing in your relationship with him than you realize at the moment.

 

I agree. This did not happen overnight.I also do not think there is a future with this man.

 

Please do not reach out to this guy for support, or 'friendship.' Go NC and do your best to move on.

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