Married guy wanted me?

[thatgirl93]

So I was out with some colleagues and one of them is married and recently had a baby! We both had a few too drinks, but mostly him. I was trying to be as innocent as possible. Somehow we both ended up outside and I really felt I should call it a night or I'd end up in a really bad state. He was in a worse state not finishing his sentences so I was trying to get him home too. All of a sudden he just kept asking "what what.. what is this, you and me"? And i was like what? this is nothing we're going home! and he said "but wait a second like like like you're hot yeah" and he kept just coming really close to me, and i was like ok, let's go seriously lol and he said "but like you're hot yea" and I was like yeah and you;re married, let's think about your wife and beautiful child and get you home!! and he was like "yea yea yea but you, like you.. you're..." and it just kept happening. Strange unfinished sentences.

 

FYI this was a work trip and we were all staying in a hotel - we both drunkenly got there and I was trying really hard to keep him from walking on the road! Naturally I grabbed onto his hand to guide him, and he said "you're.. you're holding my hand" and I was like ugh I'm holding your hand to guide you, then I held his arm instead! He basically just kept questioning everything I was doing as if there was something between us.. but I was acting the same way I would when drunk with anyone! Alco makes you a little touchy for everyone right?

 

Anyway finally I got him back to his room and told him to get a good rest. I don't remember what happened but I think we started to talk about something and I was so tired I collapsed on his bed, so we could continue to talk about whatever and i was just so tired!! Immediately he said "you're.. you're on my bed now" and i was like UGH im on your bed 'cause i was dropping you off and we started to talk. Ima go now, and then but he just kept saying wait a minute - as I turned around to walk away, he grabbed my hand twirled me around and we were a little too close face to face. Like WAY too close lip to lip. and he just looked into my eyes. and he was like what is this, you and me..

SAME confusing statements. At this point I was just so drunk/tired i was like okay look we're both a little too drunk, noone's gotta know about this, we just gotta stop this and sleep. Don't worry about it. and then I left

 

but WTH was that? Does he like me or was it just too much attraction because of alcohol? I only officially met him that day, and during the night he just kept saying how cool I am etc and how weird it is we never spoke before.

I am now terrified to face him at work. Please let me know what the heck this was?!

[melancholy123]

The guy was hammered, he's probably screw the door post if it'd let him. You should have had hotel staff take him to his room, not you by yourself. You were indirectly asking for trouble. Please dont get yourself in this situation again with anyone.

[Seraphim]

You don't need to wonder. MARRIED. Just stay out of it.

[JaggerJim]

It might be a good idea to stop being his angel that saves him from trouble. If he wants to walk on the road, and fall into bed then don't be around as well. Your crush on him will go away.

[thatgirl93]

I was very drunk too, I didn't exactly think of going to the hotel staff. I barely remember going up the elevator, but in my head i was just thinking i'll dump him in his room and then i really gotta catch some sleep in mine.

He wasn't being hugely inappropriate though, so it was a weird in between. Like who asks all these questions he was asking? no one lol.

Surely if he wanted to he could have gone all in for it, but we both didn't. I just found the night strange and not sure if it will be weird now or if we can just forget about it and blame the alco that's all! Hope it won't be awkward.

 

I wasn't 'wondering' to pursue it, I am just being wary of how it might be now back at work. this isn't a situation I'm normally in!

[JaggerJim]

I think you should be wary, wary of how infactuated you have become with him. He is married with a baby who got drunk and thought you were hot.

 

Just pretend none of it happened and focus on work.

[ThatwasThen]

I only officially met him that day

It sounds to me like HE thought you were coming onto him. You were the one that, in my opinion, acted inappropriately especially when you flopped on his bed instead of just kicking his arse through the door and then going to your own room. Kudos for keeping him off the road and getting him safely to his room but you should have never gone in there and you should have absolutely not layed on his bed.

 

As for it being awkward at work. You said you just met him that night so chances are he won't even remember you unless YOU make an effort to be in his face while on the job. If he does come around to you, then you keep it professional and turn down any suggestion about hanging out for lunch or breaks or any of that. It will only be awkward if you show him in some sort of actions that you are coming on to him.

[thatgirl93]

Maybe so! But I was being quite clear to him repeatedly asking about his wife and kid to keep reminding him he has a wife and kid, because HE kept complimenting me. Every time he did, i just gave him this awkward 'lol ok then' or 'uh thats weird' look. Not once did I compliment back, i just kept replying lol ok I think you need to go home now. every time i brought up his fam to keep him distracted, HE kept asking about me.

The bed thing - I think it's worse in your head. When you're that drunk it was one of those collapsing on bed moments, I wasn't fully on the bed just like half my body resting for a couple of seconds, face down. it's like i just fell there. Like I wasn't even sitting up speaking being flirty or any of that. Then as soon as he said that I got up and proceeded to leave. But you're right, if he was that far gone he probably thought something else with my being there.

Alright guys dutily noted, I'll pretend nothing happened. I think I just panicked and needed to talk about it, don't like weird things like that happening with people I may see daily!

Thanks

[abitbroken]

Maybe so! But I was being quite clear to him repeatedly asking about his wife and kid to keep reminding him he has a wife and kid, because HE kept complimenting me. Every time he did, i just gave him this awkward 'lol ok then' or 'uh thats weird' look. Not once did I compliment back, i just kept replying lol ok I think you need to go home now. every time i brought up his fam to keep him distracted, HE kept asking about me.

The bed thing - I think it's worse in your head. When you're that drunk it was one of those collapsing on bed moments, I wasn't fully on the bed just like half my body resting for a couple of seconds, face down. it's like i just fell there. Like I wasn't even sitting up speaking being flirty or any of that. Then as soon as he said that I got up and proceeded to leave. But you're right, if he was that far gone he probably thought something else with my being there.

Alright guys dutily noted, I'll pretend nothing happened. I think I just panicked and needed to talk about it, don't like weird things like that happening with people I may see daily!

Thanks

 

But you were continuing to drink with him. You can mention someone's wife all you want, but if you are continuing to entertain someone with conversation, having a drink and returning to his room... you actions are saying yes. if a guy is drunk, you trade seats with a male coworker that isn't so drunk and let that other guy be his caretaker or you leave. Or you ask staff at the bar to help you. Be cognizant of your own actions. You were being "clear" as mud.

[thatgirl93]

Im sorry in what part of the story did I continue to drink with him? lol there were many of us, we were all drunk. when we were going home there was no more drinking, and we were trying to sober up before then. we weren't together the whole night, it was like in and out, convo here and there over the 3 hours we were all out. we somehow then ended up outside. and i knew i had to call it a night.

i think you're forgetting that I left - i didn't entertain anything. any time he would initiate anything strange, i'd change the topic or refer to his family.

clear as mud? every time he complimented me too much, i literally said stop stop stop lets think about your wife and kid. i said things like you're married dude etc.

Any conversation that was had was a generic unrelated one which was continued as a result of my being drunk too, and wanting to talk on and on. if he talked about something i would speak back - if he talked about ME i would change topic and want to leave. we're all coworkers, everyone was returning to everyones rooms drunk as a skunk, with not much memory and trying taking care of each other. nobody asked a caretaker lol

[nutbrownhare]

He was s**tfaced, probably even more than you were. I think you need an attack of selective amnesia and to carry on at work as if nothing had happened - that's if you want to carry on working there.

 

For information, people who are horribly drunk often love everybody, you're their best mate, you're the most fantastic woman they've ever met, did they remember to tell you they love you and by the way you're beautiful. You're asking if he likes you... at that moment, you were the most adorable, hot, fantastic woman on the planet. Actually, you both were, and why do you keep spinning around?

 

Once they're sober again, all that's a totally different matter. As I say, selective amnesia is what's called for here. Don't embarrass yourself by pretending anything else!

[Hollyj]

What does it matter: HE IS MARRIED!!!!

 

The guy was really drunk and wanted to get laid. Better judgement, next time.

[HeartGoesOn]

Are you attempting to justify your actions?

[DancingFool]

In your shoes I'd develop a serious case of amnesia about that night and otherwise be strictly professional and cut off any personal talk attempts by him should he try. As far as you remember....well there is nothing to remember.

 

As for a sh@tfaced guy mumbling that you are hot.....I mean you do know the old joke about last call at the bar right? Beer goggles, sh@tface goggles. Never take such stuff seriously. On top of that dude is married so if he tries to get friendly with you sober, you KNOW he is nothing but a cheating creep and someone to be avoided at all costs. Never ever be so pathetic and desperate as to become some sleezeball's side chic. You know all this.

[ThatwasThen]

Im sorry in what part of the story did I continue to drink with him? lol there were many of us, we were all drunk. when we were going home there was no more drinking, and we were trying to sober up before then. we weren't together the whole night, it was like in and out, convo here and there over the 3 hours we were all out. we somehow then ended up outside. and i knew i had to call it a night.

i think you're forgetting that I left - i didn't entertain anything. any time he would initiate anything strange, i'd change the topic or refer to his family.

clear as mud? every time he complimented me too much, i literally said stop stop stop lets think about your wife and kid. i said things like you're married dude etc.

Any conversation that was had was a generic unrelated one which was continued as a result of my being drunk too, and wanting to talk on and on. if he talked about something i would speak back - if he talked about ME i would change topic and want to leave. we're all coworkers, everyone was returning to everyones rooms drunk as a skunk, with not much memory and trying taking care of each other. nobody asked a caretaker lol

Well, obviously you felt that he was being inappropriate with all that blocking by mentioning his wife etc which begs the question: Why on earth would you go to his room and further that by laying on his bed. Do you see?

 

Yes.. I agree with those that said you should just pretend that nothing happened but don't forget the part where you don't do any date-like activities with him (like go to lunch/dinner one-on-one) and ignore his compliments should he OR IF he starts that crap at work when he's sober

[thatgirl93]

I wasn't trying to justify my actions, I just felt the good things I did weren't really taken into account. I even said at one point i think the beer goggles part have come in so I gotta go.

Thanks DancingFool. I will do just that.

[thatgirl93]

Thatwasthen - that was all happening within the 5min time span of walking/trying to drunkenly find the hotel. if it was happening all night i think id have more sense to avoid going back with the guy. it was just that part of the blurry drunken night walk back to bed, caught me off guard and honestly he seemed like one of those good guys so at first i thought it was those silly one off comments and it would stop.

hotel room - was only about maximum 5 mins in there, as soon as i thought ok it's really not one off i bolted.

 

Thanks for your comments. I doubt he'll intiate such things as he doesnt seem like that at all at work. maybe thats why he was so confused cuz he isnt normally like that? and honestly dont think to was a typical he wants to get laid situation - thats why i was confused as he kept asking weird unfinished questions. it makes more sense now that im fully sober. yes i will avoid anything else at all costs

Thanks!

[abitbroken]

I wasn't trying to justify my actions, I just felt the good things I did weren't really taken into account. I even said at one point i think the beer goggles part have come in so I gotta go.

Thanks DancingFool. I will do just that.

 

In cases like this...you don't get points for good things to outweigh the bad. You can say no all you want-- but you went to his room. And even if you said "stop stop stop" when he complimented you --- you didn't LEAVE. If you were staying at the hotel, you didn't leave the bar and go to YOUR room alone - you didn't call your friend or taxi to come get you if you were nearby. If you could not physically leave, you could have gone and sat at a table with one of your coworkers far away from him. You kept drifting over to him. If he is drunk all the convo about his wife is just blah blah blah. Boundaries are no good if you don't enforce them.

 

Good that you have agreed to avoid in the future.