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I love my boyfriend but I don't know if I should stay


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Everything is perfect, I wanted to marry this guy. Just recently, he got served with child support papers for his two kids with a request to also pay back pay. We were looking into property and now it doesn't look like that's gonna happen for awhile. He said he wanted to kill himself and I've been trying to calm him down as best as I could. We've been rocky ever since. We don't conversate as much, we just go about our day and say good night, that's about it. Also, we were best friends before we got together and we were casual drinkers. We decided to stop drinking together, become healthier and I came from previous abusive relationship with an alcoholic.


One night he doesn't come home till after midnight, and he's highly intoxicated. I had this rush of anger and told him to get out. He didn't listen so I reacted in a way where I knew I'd get his attention. I told him to get out and that I'm cheating on him. Because at this point I wanted to break up. He immediately got up and went to the restroom. I called his parents, crying, saying that I was worried about him and how I said something really bad. My in laws came by and we sat and talked, they gave me advice. As they were about to leave, his parents were going to check if he just passed out and to tell him bye. Next thing I know he's laying on the kitchen floor with a pill bottle of muscle relaxers right next to him. We call an ambulance and they transport him to the hospital. I stayed up worried and saw that he left his phone. I snooped around and saw that he had been looking up porn a tremendous amount of times and he had been messaging girls, inviting them out to the movies and getting to know them. All in a matter of one week. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt and want to let him have it but right now he's in a vulnerable state. Any advice?

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Lostmind, you have to understand for a guy porn is not love, intimacy, or even about sex in rough times, it's like a drug. I'm in a relationship but when I am really broken inside, I can relapse into using porn and the 'fantasy' of hooking up with someone to numb the pain, knowing I would never go through with it, then after I feel immense shame and guilt and a 'what have I done feeling'.

Considering he is in the state he is in, I would suggest that even though it hurts, it may not be his intention to cheat, rather craving that numbness... The trick is openly discuss that pain with your partner instead of isolating yourself (so hard to do) and turning to cheap thrills...

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