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Continuous Issues with my Mother


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Haven't posted in quite a while and when I did it was on the same subject.


To make a long story short, I've had issues with my mother since I was about 13. She's controlling, verbally abusive (not too terrible but when she gets angry she can really hurt you emotionally), extremely strict despite my good behavior throughout school and life in general, untrustworthy, and so on.


I recently just turned 18 a while back and things didn't change, as I expected. She constantly tries to control my every move and still demands I ask permission to do this and that. I understand I live under her roof still, but that's no way to treat a person who is now a legal adult. I can't even do anything with my family without her permission. This is not the bad part though. She overreacts to everything I do. I don't take the trash out, she yells and screams and acts like I've just been caught smoking crack or doing some illegal stuff. I forget to pick up something off the floor, it's like WW3 in the house. And when I do stuff without having to be reminded or asked, it's always wrong, even when I do it the same every single time. There always seems to be something I've done wrong and nothing I can do right. I've threatened to move out and into my grandparents house but then she comes back with she'll cut me off and stop paying for anything and everything for me, despite me going off the college and being practically broke when enrolled. I'm just not sure what to do. Although I don't expect it, I know my grandparents would help me financially and basically take up everything my mom does but I don't want to put them through that since they are going through a tough situation themselves regarding my grandpa's health and problem within the family and I feel like I'd be putting way too much stress on their lives. It seems like my mom feels like she's losing control over me and needs anything and everything to gain it back. At least that's what my grandpa told me. I'm not sure if this is some mental issue or just her personality.


I just need advice. What should I do here? Anyone going through the same type of situation or has in the past? Anything helps.


Thank you.

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Oh I feel for you. My mother was much the same, very negative and demeaning, and like to hit me with a wooden spoon. I hated her. My dad was a nice man, thankfully. Even tho you are 18 you are still under her roof and therefore she's still in charge. It doesnt seem fair but you are still her kid, even tho technically an adult.


Are you currently in college but home for the summer? I know it doesnt help at the moment but if you are going back to school in Sept. you do have that to keep you going until then, give you something to look forward to. Do you have a job to get you out of the house?


Your mother likely feels like she is losing control since you are now 18 but she's a mom, and kids often dont grow up in a mom's eyes. Basically you have to put up with it until you can find a way out of there, whether with your grandparents or you get a place with a roommate.


Usually things get better when you leave home and establish your own place and life, not always, but often. I wish you luck!

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I sincerely hope you can move out soon, and not look back.


This type of toxicity can and will affect you if you let it.


"She's controlling, verbally abusive (not too terrible but when she gets angry she can really hurt you emotionally)"


Do not let anyone downplay your situation or tell you there is anything remotely normal about her behaviour.


This book is good:


"Will I ever be good enough" by Dr. Karyl McBride

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