I can't let go of my ex

[lucia031]

I was with my boyfriend for 7 months when I caught him texting another girl. They had no plans to meet up, just flirty texting. I was devastated. After 2 months of him begging and apologizing I took him back. I really believed he was sorry. Yesterday I found messages in his phone to a different girl, trying to meet up with her when I was away. When I confronted him he said he was sorry and didn't know how to control himself so I broke up with him.

 

I love him so much. I asked him if he would do it again if we got back together and his response was "I like to think I wouldn't, and I would try my hardest not to. But I can't predict the future". I can't describe the amount of hurt I feel. He's literally telling me that he can't stay faithful to me and I still want to be with him. I know its really messed up. I just don't know how to move forward from this. I don't know if I will ever get over him.

[wom360]

I don't know if I will ever get over him.

 

You will. Just takes time. And maybe a little dating around.

[Hollyj]

You have no choice. He is a cheat, and has basically told you that he will cheat again.

 

He does not value you, or the relationship. Block, delete and go NC.

[johnnydanger]

He blew it as far as I am concerned, as that is a real stupid thing to say to a woman you are trying to get back with!

 

There are some very strange and hurtful things people we love say and do. Nobody is perfect, and you will never meet such a perfect person. Everyone has flaws, but this flaw if his to keep trying to score with other women and then telling you he doesn't know if he can avoid it in the future, reeks of a true dummy.

 

Maybe you need to take a break, tell him you don't like his response and that the both of you now need more time to think.

[lucia031]

Thanks for the advice. He told me that he sees a future with me and that scares him. I'm the first person (he says) that he's ever truly loved and who makes him feel whole. I believe him when he says it. But I really think that he's got issues he needs to work out. Is it truly possible for someone like him to change? I agree on cutting him off and going NC (which I have done, though it hurts). But I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience with someone cheating because they are afraid.

[Hollyj]

First sentence is crap, and a string along. If he loved you and felt whole, he would n't have cheated, or need to cheat. Don't be so naive.

 

This is who he is. it is a character issue. He won't change.

 

Don't believe this nonsense about being afraid. He is lying!

[Hollyj]

I forgot to add: he is a player.

 

Stop believing the lies that are coming out of his mouth.

 

How old are you?

[kpb018]

Sounds like he's not ready to settle down & willing to play the field... I'm guessing he's young and immature?

It mightn feel like you will ever get over him at moment but within time you will be able to tell he isn't the right person for you and there's someone better out there for you.

Been in that situation several times in past where thought I would never find someone else who I loved/loved me again but time is the healer of a broken heart.

[lucia031]

I'm 25 and he's 28. I've been in two other long term relationships before this where both guys also cheated on me. It wasn't as hard because I knew their character flaws (they were both emotionally abusive). I guess it's harder to believe that this guy would do this because I've always believed in the him and trusted him. That was naive of me.

 

I started complete No contact yesterday. I can't describe the amount of hurt I feel letting him go, but I know it's the right thing to do.

[kpb018]

It is all too common nowadays with infidelity and with modern technology all too easy.

The thing is it's not always sex related too,most couples tend to match each other on characteristics like income,education,looks,interests etc ....when there is a big gap on more important characteristic there is a more likely chance of infidelity.

I'm glad to hear you are going no contact and hopefully you will continue on the right track and be over him in no time.