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What Do i do?!?! (does this make me sort of a lesbian)


Starstriker

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So this is very hard for me to explain. Im so confused and frustrated that i just can't understand whats happening to me. Im 16 and i have reached a point where i am starting to discover myself. I found my passion in life(public speaking). Well technically i found it about six years ago but i finally achieved a goal i have been working for ever since. Anyway i have this friend lets call her Ling. Me n this girl were previously in a group of four friends but lately due to one of the other girls we have been abit broken. Ling has lately lost her best friend so im the person she trusts the most right now. I want to be a good friend n everything but everytime im wif her i feel lile everything is perfect. I have nvr had a boyfriend or any serious crushes because my parents are VERY strict and kinda traditional. I did have a small crush on this one boy just a few months ago. lets call him Jacob. So at first Ling and i were very close because i felt that she needed someone there when she just lost her best friend.I trusted Ling so much that I told her so many things no one else knew about me, not even my best friend. She told me some private and personal things too. I found out that she had an ex that was also female and how she nvr saw herself as lesbian but it happened but she doesnt regret a thing. She also currently tells me about how some ppl liked her but she didnt want a relationship with those ppl. She also told me about her crushes and how they rejected her for her bff that she has fought with(they kinda just grew apart. I tried to fix it but that is another story)but now she makes them regret their decision. We got really close and i told her about my crush on Jacob. This was abit of a shock as i nvr had crushes and i definitely nvr told anyone. He was actually my first crush. Soon after i became extremely close wif Ling so close that even my best friend told me i was always wif Ling, out of class and nvr around. But this was only a coincidence as me and ling are the top students so we end up wif each other alot. I dont know y but i have been getting this urges everytime i am around Ling. For example this week we had to go check out the stage for a drama competition (obviously im acting but Ling is stage manager cause i made her join .she is abit too nervous for acting but i might change her mind). We went check out the stage n it was an hour drive from our school. Me and her sat in the back seat in our teachers car. I sat against the door n she in the middle with a guy at the other side. We all ended up sleeping. When i woke up i saw her head on my shoulder with my hand under her arm (area of the elbow to the hand) i was so tempted to grab her hand and kiss her gently on the forehead. I thought i could hold her hand and pretend to sleep again. It felt almost perfect. I was almost going to hold her hand when she woke up and moved to hold my entire arm tighter as she leaned against my shoulder again to sleep back. I was frightened but it felt amazing the way she held on to me. This is not the first time something like this has happened and everytime i just somehow enjoy just sitting there with her hugging me. It feels great. I want to tell her but im scared if she doesn't feel the same it may ruin our friendship and i like being the one she can talk to when she feels completely broken. But she is just amazing i mean she can make almost any guy in class fall for her if she spends enough time with them. Somehow i think in someway tat for her this might just be an awesome friendship. Wat do i do? Do i tell anyone? Do i tell her? Or do i just mantain the friendship and ignore wat im feeling? Or am i just over thinking? (sorry so long) (and sorry if it is abit dramatic) pls help me

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Well, if she's dated a girl before with no regrets, she's probably bi or bi-curious. Yes, confiding in a friend that you have romantic feelings can ruin a friendship, regardless of their orientation. But, you really aren't just friends. You have romantic feelings for her so at worst it is unrequited love, and at best it is an opportunity. You have to decide if your friendship is worth the risk. Also, you probably need to consider the other ramifications of this, because there is the possibility this will get out. Are you ready to come out of the closet?

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Thing is i dont know if i am bi or not but i dont think this is somethihg i would ever want to tell her myself. It would just be too hard to explain what i am feeling. Because she often talks about guys that have interests in her or she is interested in. Being the only person she trusts i dont want to be just another person she shuts out of her life. Maybe i am not ready to accept what i feel? And i dont think i want to risk the friendship i have with her(thanks that made me think alot)

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