can't get over me girlfriends sexual past

[hstone]

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now(both 21) I love everything about her, we get on so well and she is the perfect girl for me apart from for one thing, her past. I know the past is in the past and it shouldn't bother me but she has been so easy and has had casual sex with many different guys before me, one was a week before we met. even when we met I had sex with her on the first night and she was easy with me. I don't like how easy she is and how anyone can get with her, it makes me feel way less lucky and that she just gives it out to anyone. i wouldn't mind if she had this many partners if they were all in relationships.

 

to make it worse we are currently in a long-distance situation and i'm struggling to trust her due to this. I value women who are hard to get and aren't just sleeping around. we have argued a few times about this and at the moment we are on a break as i said i need time to think about it. is it ridiculous that im angry and upset about this or is it a reasonable thing to be upset about? i want to be able to get over it but i don't know if i can, i don't know what to do?

[BritterSweet]

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now(both 21) I love everything about her, we get on so well and she is the perfect girl for me apart from for one thing, her past. I know the past is in the past and it shouldn't bother me but she has been so easy and has had casual sex with many different guys before me, one was a week before we met. even when we met I had sex with her on the first night and she was easy with me. I don't like how easy she is and how anyone can get with her, it makes me feel way less lucky and that she just gives it out to anyone. i wouldn't mind if she had this many partners if they were all in relationships.

 

to make it worse we are currently in a long-distance situation and i'm struggling to trust her due to this. I value women who are hard to get and aren't just sleeping around. we have argued a few times about this and at the moment we are on a break as i said i need time to think about it. is it ridiculous that im angry and upset about this or is it a reasonable thing to be upset about? i want to be able to get over it but i don't know if i can, i don't know what to do?

 

You were "easy" with her too, weren't you? I do find it ridiculous that you don't seem to hold yourself to the same standards you hold her to.

[annie24]

If this is how you feel about her, you should let her go so she can find someone who is really crazy about her and you can meet someone who will wait X dates before having sex. Like BritterSweet points out - you were easy with her as well, sleeping with a woman on the same night you met her. Double standards are not cool.

[Capricorn3]

You were "easy" with her too, weren't you? I do find it ridiculous that you don't seem to hold yourself to the same standards you hold her to.

 

I totally agree with the above. How can you judge her for being "easy", when you, yourself, had sex with her on the first night?? Makes you easy too, right?

[RainyCoast]

You were "easy" with her too, weren't you? I do find it ridiculous that you don't seem to hold yourself to the same standards you hold her to.

 

i swear it has been posted before, or this is a very sad epidemic.

 

she didn't have sex with herself on the first date, so she's only as easy as you. you don't want someone to put out on the first date, don't give them a chance to.

 

not to mention if you're going to do the whole long distance thing, the last thing that'll help is distrust and frequent questioning about what they could be doing with whom, as they technically could do anything with anyone. it's not for everyone, certainly not for people with trust issues, or those who place (hypocritical) demands on others. you're either okay with everything LD entails, or you're not, and the same goes for her past and the first-date sex you happily took part in.

 

don't make choices you inherently dislike, that should help .

[Wolfshook]

I understand that you dont like her past.

 

I just dont get this part " we have argued a few times about this". What will arguing change? What even can she do to "make this right"?

[SoulTaker]

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now(both 21) I love everything about her, we get on so well and she is the perfect girl for me apart from for one thing, her past. I know the past is in the past and it shouldn't bother me but she has been so easy and has had casual sex with many different guys before me, one was a week before we met. even when we met I had sex with her on the first night and she was easy with me. I don't like how easy she is and how anyone can get with her, it makes me feel way less lucky and that she just gives it out to anyone. i wouldn't mind if she had this many partners if they were all in relationships.

 

to make it worse we are currently in a long-distance situation and i'm struggling to trust her due to this. I value women who are hard to get and aren't just sleeping around. we have argued a few times about this and at the moment we are on a break as i said i need time to think about it. is it ridiculous that im angry and upset about this or is it a reasonable thing to be upset about? i want to be able to get over it but i don't know if i can, i don't know what to do?

 

Op, I don't see a problem. You both have the same value system (sleeping at the 1st opportunity). You complaining about this is like the "pot calling the kettle black". Are you saying that there is a double standard in play?

 

The time to think about her character should have been before you slept with her (you had the opportunity to decline), and not afterwards.