Manthattries Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 I'm (43) and finished a rough divorce. In the process of moving on i had a good female friend for years and she (50) began to persue me. I had asked for simple easy dating ( eating out, movies, fishing, etc, but no over night or sex. I needed my space and move on from divorce and find happiness. She agreed because she 2 years ago lost her 17y/o son in accident. We were both there for each other. Crying on each other shoulders, missing the old life. However, as time went on I found myself so in love as she did too. We made a schedule out. During a week I'd spend time with my son, but when he was with his mom. The gf would stay at my place and vice versa. Did that for well over 2 years. She even brought her 2nd son and grandson into our lives. I kinda felt like a grandpa as much as wed did together with her grandson. Me and her were alike, but not alike. She had that type A personality as I was more or less confident, but no as much ego, but sometimes she used that personality to hide inner feelings. She would also brag, but i never could. I used to tell her, if you brag about doing somthing with me or someone else, you should follow thru with it for out of respect or don't brag at all. Duri by the course of dating, she would say things like: "do you have something you want to tell me". I was getting the hint in proposal, but I knew her and I weren't ready. Wasnt sure if it was bragging, teasing, etc. She would never come clean with her intentions. She began to push and pull at me which began to feel like a roller coaster ride on her time. Some days I'd ask myself what I was doing wrong, but I knew I was doing it all right. I found myself wanting to be needy, but that was never me and I wasn't going to become someone I wasn't. I know our relationship left that honey moon stage. But in some cases that's were the push-pull came from. Like she wanted to keep the relationship in that stage. At the same time she began showing childish, bratty behavior. It's like she began changing. I don't think it was post partum. She also began going out with friends and leaving me set. Nothing wrong with having friends, but when your bf is with you, you should have the respect and wanting to be with you, right? The friends should be there when I'm not, correct? I spent a little time away from her, about 2 weeks and started to realize I was putting more effort in than she was. So frustrating. The relationship finally ended after 3 yrs. I really wanted more with her, but I didn't want to jump in feet first without making that deeper relationship commitment. What hurts is, I felt like a grandpa and took pride in that. She knew my son too. It's like we were having a mixed family. Question I have is there more I could of done or was it doomed. I know I tried very hard, but it's like when I stopped trying is when it fell apart. Almost like in someways about attention. God only knows. Just want some input on closure. Link to comment
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