anonymous007 Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 My girlfriend of almost three years and I decided to break up after we had to move apart from each other. I had feelings for her and she felt very strongly that I was the one for her. However, we broke up to allow ourselves the freedom to date around. We kept in regular contact, texting each other almost every day and Skype calling occasionally for months. She would often profess her love and I would encourage her to just meet other people for now cuz we're living so far apart. So we keep talking daily and our feelings didn't fade, but just recently (on my birthday of all days) she confessed that she was seeing another guy but he suddenly disappeared. She was balling over this and I just did my best to console her and hide my shock. She texted me the next day like nothing happened and I responded half-heartedly. The next day, I couldn't hold it in any longer so I told her how I felt. I told her that I didn't know she was so far into the "moving on" process and to be honest, I hadn't even begun. I thought our daily contact was our way of trying to stay close. Then she dropped a huge bomb on me: she slept with the guy too. To be honest, she is single and has every right to be seeing and sleeping with other guys. What bothers me is that she was leading me on the whole time, telling me she loves me and she's not interested in other guys. Now she says the guy was just a fling and it meant nothing. She really just loves me and wants to be with me. I still have strong feelings for her but the thought of her sleeping with another guy just disgusts me... and that she led me on the whole time. What should I do? Link to comment
Longview01 Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Break off all contact with her and move on, you've already broken up and she is sleeping with other guys and using you to cry on your shoulder Link to comment
anonymous007 Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 Thanks for the advice. I was thinking of telling her we should strictly be friends... Do you think no contact is a better decision? Link to comment
Longview01 Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 If you are gonna stay in contact then expect more of this, if you can handle it then fair play to you...personally I couldn't go through all that and then when you start a new relationship you will have her hanging around making things uncomfortable for your new GF. I know its tough and i've been there myself and it took me months and months of heartbreak to finally let her go but it was for the best Good luck Link to comment
anonymous007 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Share Posted July 25, 2017 Thanks Longview01. So I compromised and asked for some space but not completely cutting her off. I said we could talk once a week or so. We were together for so long and she means so much to me... It's hard to say goodbye completely. Did you go no contact right away Longview01? Or was it a decision you made after realizing it was for the best? Link to comment
Knight2001 Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 go NC. block delete, move forward and foget her. she was deceitful. who says she wont be again. forward is the only way you should move, you will feel better for it. good luck. Link to comment
wom360 Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 You really should just ghost her. Block her from everything, go NC and move on. She's doing other guys and crying about it to you. You've been friend zoned. If you can't go NC at least start seeing other women, and not discretely. Link to comment
anonymous007 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Share Posted July 25, 2017 Thanks for the advice everyone. it seems to be pretty unanimous about going NC and moving on... Okay, I know what I have to do, but it's not gonna be easy. I feel so numb inside... All these memories and hardships we went through together, they keep replaying in my head. And then all I can imagine is her screwing around with some other guy and I feel sick to my stomach again... Link to comment
vesper Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 When you have a relationship with someone long distance you are pretty much NOT together. Please realize that she knows she made a mistake. My husband and I were not truly official until he moved to be in the same town as me. Link to comment
Longview01 Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 When you have a relationship with someone long distance you are pretty much NOT together. Please realize that she knows she made a mistake. My husband and I were not truly official until he moved to be in the same town as me. She realizes she made a mistake? She was only upset cause the new guy she had been sleeping with had left her, shes moving on the OP needs to do the same thing and break off all contact with her Link to comment
anonymous007 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Share Posted July 25, 2017 When you have a relationship with someone long distance you are pretty much NOT together. Please realize that she knows she made a mistake. My husband and I were not truly official until he moved to be in the same town as me. Right now, both of our lives are pretty uncertain (I'm going back to school next year and she is trying to further her career). Who knows when we would be able to move back into the same town again. If this is the case, do you think it's still worth keeping in contact with her? If you don't mind me asking, what was the situation with your husband? If it was similar to mine, how did you deal with the pain of knowing that the one you love was being romantic with another person? These are questions I'm asking myself: Is it possible for her to be romantic with another person but stay true to me? Is it worth the pain? Link to comment
Longview01 Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Is it possible for her to be romantic with another person but stay true to me? It's impossible, being romantic with anyone else is being untrue to you by definition Link to comment
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