Struggling to see the point in all this!

[Miastar]

I've been away from the forum for a while. I had a good-ish few weeks where I went on holiday, spent time with friends, attending counselling regularly, began to feel more normal and as if I was "growing".

 

I really can identity ways in which I need to work on myself and the ways in which I contributed to the relationship ending. I just feel so overwhelmed with it all again, and I ffeel very heavy guilt and shame. The reminders and memories of my ex and the relationship feel like they are being thrown at me left right and centre, and it's painful. He simply was everything I wanted, we shared so much and I felt I'd finally found the person who fit me in every way.

 

I guess I feel I can be happy in another relationship, once I meet my own needs and have a much healthier relationship with myself. But I don't see how I will ever find someone else like him who to me seemed like everything I ever wanted, all in one person.

 

Is there hope? Do people ever lose the one they thought was perfect for them and then find someone else even better?

 

I'm putting too much weight on relationships and not looking at myself and my own life I'm just so scared. With my relstionship it was a given that I would have the future I wanted. Now he's gone, that future is gone, and I'm so scared of what'll become of me.