sweethome22 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Hi all I was dating this guy for about a month. He had been single 8 months and before that a 6 year relationship. They bought a house but no kids,marriage etc. Initially I thought he wasn't my usual type but he completely won me over in his personality,how well suited we were,a lot in common and got on really well. 2 of the dates we went on we went out to eat and we were literally the last 2 in there at closing. It was so effortless the time flew. I can't stress enough how much effort I felt he put into me. He really looked after me. Very much a gentleman and very attentive. Couldn't do enough for me. He seemed so smitten with me that I even got the impression he thought I was too good for him. He told me that he felt very lucky to be dating me and often told me how beautiful I was and how much he liked me. If we went out to eat hed hold my hands across the table just looking at me in this dreamy way. Some things were a bit of a red flag like he said that he could get me a key which I thought was too soon (but I assumed it was just because we didn't live far from eachother) buying me toiletries for when I stayed over. We made plans to go to his friends vacation home. I know this is showing rebound signs but I honestly just felt it was about me. I'm not cynical so I didn't think otherwise. And I dunno,both early 30s so if you think you've met the one and it's enjoyable arguably just ruining a nice time by putting the brakes on and saying 'no let's keep it to one date a week for 6 months'. I didn't get a vibe that he was not over his ex. He briefly told me that it wasnt working before they broke up,he realised she was an alcoholic and that he wanted to help her. He took some time for himself and felt ready to date again. He had a work thing night so I went home and we arranged to go out the next day. The next day I didn't receive anything. My messages were ignored which was massively out of character when I knew they had been received. I called by his house and the car and lights were on but he just sat inside and completely ignored me. I saw he was online later so I sent him a message that if he wanted to stop seeing me could he just not have told me that. Messages went back and forth basically he wasn't ready for this he'd been through a lot and he thought he was better but he wasn't and couldn't do it right now. I've left him to it over the last 2 weeks. I have since been deleted on all social media and blocked when I sent 1 message saying I hoped he was ok. When it came to the time we were supposed to go on the trip I heard nothing. I don't consider myself to be anything of a bunny boiler but there are things that are just unacceptable to me. So a couple of days later I texted why the need to block me just for asking if he was ok and that basically I didn't understand how he had gone about this and if he had gotten back with his ex gf could he just say that. He replied that things were all over the place and yes sorting a lot of out with the ex and was best I moved on/didn't mean for it to work out like this. So I said you're basically getting back together? He said he didn't know and that it was complicated. There has been nothing after that. I can only guess but I'm guessing she has somehow been made away that he was seeing someone or he has told her and after months they are suddenly sorting stuff out. I have now blocked him from everywhere. Which is pretty futile coz he wasnt/isn't contacting me. I don't think for a minute that a month of seeing someone compares to a 6 year relationship. Im not expecting any contact,I think I have accepted that. But I'm pretty devastated at how badly I have been treated tbh. It's really knocked me down. I'm an over thinker which doesn't help and I feel like my friends think I should be over it by now. But I just can't get my head around how someone can go to the extent to treat you like a princess and then just completely cut you off without the common decency of properly breaking up with you or offering an explanation without it being requested. I don't know who instigated their break up,it could have been him or her. I hate the thought that I was the catalyst to her wanting him back when it was going so well with us. I don't understand why you would not pursue something fresh and promising and instead (apparently) have to work through a load of rubbish in order to have a functional relationship with someone? Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm just trying to process and it's actually helped writing it down but if anyone has any similar experience or thoughts xx Link to comment
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