Jump to content

Boyfriend moving out but not breaking up? (Kinda)


Recommended Posts

My boyfriend and I met when he was 14 I was 15. We are both now 21 and we have been together for almost 7 years now. He has lived with me and my parents for pretty much this whole time, his home life was bad as a young teenager.

He recently has been depressed and doesn't feel like him self anymore, he can't feel emotions or happiness in his life and he's a little suicidal....He feels like he needs to move out for a bit to figure out his own self. Of course this has left me feeling so confused and sad, it makes me feel like it's my fault. He says he still loves me and wants to be with me, and see me but doesn't want to be in a relationship. Which to me makes no sense....I asked him if that was an excuse to have an affair without consequences and he said it's nothing like like. He also says hes not looking for anyone else either...I guess he just can't put the effort into the relationship, which when dealing with mental illness it's hard to put effort into anything I guess.

But we will still see each other and be like "boyfriend and girlfriend" would be? But the whole still wanting to be with me but not in a relationship? I'm not sure how to comprehend that. He also doesn't like living with my parents, he said it would be different the two of us, which probably has a big role in him leaving as well.

He's gonna be moving in with an old friend and he says he doesn't want to be gone very long, maybe 2-6 months. Unless he finds himself happier there I may move in with him if he still wants me to. Which he says he does and wants a future with me but this seems like a step back after 7 years always together. What do you think? Will this help us grow, or ruin us....

Link to comment

I'd be manically depressed if I'd been living with my girlfriend and her parents for 7 years, too. Not saying there's not a whole lot more behind it, but fact is he hasn't has a home of his own... just yours. I think if you two were older, I'd be more worried about the situation, but given he's 21, I think it's safe to assume he's a young guy who just wants to spread his wings a bit. Honestly, in many cases of depression, measures like those he's taking are just the ticket. Sounds like he's finally able to put one foot in front of the other. As Holly suggests, think about his needs and don't guilt trip.

Link to comment

The best thing you can do for him is let him go find out who he is, and how to function on his own. You and your family have been a HUGE part of his life, but he needs to go find his own life now. Support him, and if/when he's ready, be there for him when he needs you.

Link to comment
What do you think? Will this help us grow, or ruin us....
Let him go... no seeing you when he does. The two of you go your separate ways. You heal from the break up and find yourself dating others wherein you may just find the man you're suppose to spend the rest of your life with... Or: If you two find yourselves coming back to one another in the future... so be it. Just don't be there for him to sooth himself with when it suits him.


As corny as this line is... I think it actually applies to you two: "If you love someone set them free. If they come back to you it was meant to be."

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...