cococly Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Dear all, Long Story short, even after my 3.5-yr gf dumped me for another guy 2 months ago. She would keep initiating all sort of random topics almost everyday, and told me to wait for her as a friend as she explore the new guy I was so confused For the next 2 months, we had constant messages about non-relationship related stuff. Recently, she asked me to meet up for something trivial. After a bit of stupidity, I told her not to message me again. She did stop, until 2 days later, I caved in, and we messaged each other for the next week or so. She told me she had recently lost her job, I called her on her last day at work for the first time in 2 months. Our conversation was normal and friendly, we even talked about our previous travel experiences. We used to have a dream to go to every country around the world, and we went to 20 countries in our 3.5 years. I didn't ask if she was still dating that guy, and she is supposed to go on a trip with her new guy in a few days. It has been 2 days now since I last heard from her. Should I stay strong and not contact her? I miss her, even when I am dating other girls... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimva96 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 You miss the old version of her. The version that wanted to be with you. The truth is that the idea of finding something else out there, that's not you, interests her more than staying with you. This is the new version of her. You two have different mindsets at the moment. You are stuck on her and she is interested in finding something else. It's not fair for you. What happens if she finds someone and stops texting you. It's going to hurt. You have to have respect for yourself go NC/LC for a little to get your mind of her and move on. You need to be mentally and emotionally prepared if things turn for the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 If she is with someone else, all contact is pointless. I'm sorry as I know it's very hurtful, but you would be best to work on letting her go. She made her decision to date someone else. Let her live with that so you can move on just as she had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeetsun Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Don't wait around waiting in the wings and be a doormat. Have some self-respect and remove her from your life. Find someone who wants to be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 You will never heal and move on if you keep letting her come back or if you keep going back to her. She is with another guy!! That should be the end of it. Please have more self respect than this and don't let yourself be the second choice throw back in case things don't work out with this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 She cheated on and dumped you, yet you want to be her 'friend?' Doesn't sound like any kind of friend to me. Dude, you need to locate your self respect and block and delete this woman. Stop being a doormat! She does not respect you! At All! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drpenguin Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 If you honestly want to be with someone, you don't settle for friendship. Ever heard of the friendzone dude, c'mon. Anytime a girl proposes friendship when you just want to jump in to her sheets, is a sign to simply back away and move on to someone who appreciates you more. Hell sometimes the chick will realize that you're not some chump she can just string around at her beck and call and run after you. (Case in point my 2nd gf when I finally just gave up and backed away I get a call in a week that she wanted me) Move on, work out, go out, and get counseling as needed (seriously it helps). It is better to move on and have your ex return than it is to be waiting and have her disappear on you forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cococly Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 Relationship conseling? Do you mean go see a Psychiatrist? I have never thought of going to consuling. Can you tell me what does it suppose to achieve? Please advise, I have no knowledge of this whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drpenguin Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Not necessarily a full fledge psychiatrist, but like a therapist or a counselor. Psychiatrist prescribes you drugs, the others helps you analyze your problems into something productive (more important). I see two currently (I got good insurance) and well I've made huge headways after 2 months of NC. Without counseling I would've broken NC so many times. Give you someone who will listen to you without any bias, especially if you're overly concerned of bugging your friend and family. Also they might help you dig into deeper personal issues that you may be self-sabotaging your relationships. You can get cheap counseling at some universities where they have you sit with a graduate student who's completed all their training to become counselor but needs some "field experience." They're supervised so you don't have to worry too much about being lead astray. Hell even if we didn't have any issues, I still think we ALL should see counselors. Though be cautious if they advise you to break NC. Remember NC limits your chances of fu--king up so there's no harm, delaying any contact, but so easy to screw up when reaching out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight2001 Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 go NC. block, delete, ignore, do all you can so you dont hear from this woman. the longer you contact her for the longer you are delaying your recovery. work on yourself. you are worth so much more than she has to offer. move forward, and dont look back. there is someone out there waiting to love you and until you meet them work on yourself esteem. good luck my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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