Alex39 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 So I have recently been on the online dating circuit and its been a very interesting experience. I have had bad past experiences with men and I have been trying to avoid that at all costs. This week alone I went on three dates with three different men. I am attempting to not keep all my eggs in one basket. I am open to seeing many men to see what options are out there for me and who steps up to the plate to be what I need. On Sunday I met up with this man. We had been chatting for a while, and I finally suggested we meet. When I walk up to him, first impression, I was not impressed. He just didn't look like my usual type of guy. But after talking for a bit, he is not what I thought at all. He was nice, funny, talented, manly and respectful. A real true gentlemen towards me. Wouldn't let me pay for a thing. We talked for hours and hours. He listened to me, teased me, and we had great banter back and forth. I was very comfortable. We had a great time. He wasn't my ideal guy, but his personality really stuck with me as someone I liked. He isn't originally from the area, but tells me how he hopes to settle here for a few years and then see where it goes. He says if he met a girl then that would change things for him. His job is a primary outside job as a sports management professional, so now being summer is ideal. I asked him what he does in the winter time. He said he has the option to stay and do indoor desk work, or the company will relocate him for a few months so he can work outside with clients, which is what he loves to do. He said he was unsure of what he was going to do yet. Now this notion of him potentially leaving is my worst fear. I have been through that time and time again and its not fun, nor stable for me. I am also currently talking to other guys who are staying around this area for sure, so its hard for me to compare. But I liked this guys personality. We really hit it off. He then slightly tells me how his last two years of college he lived with a girlfriend, but he almost alluded to the fact that they broke up upon graduation, because he was going to be traveling for work. He's now lived in multiple cities, but claims he hopes to stay here for many years to have some stability. We kept talking afterwards through text message and we quickly planned another date for Wednesday, which was yesterday. We met up for dinner at this really nice restaurant. We ordered drinks. We talked and talked. We laughed, had a great time. He opened up to me about his messed up family. It was deep, and I liked that he opened up to let me in some personal things. Again, great date, really hit it off. He insisted on paying for everything, even though I offered, he wasn't having it. He even took me out for ice cream, after the date, and we spent a lot of time together talking. He kept trying to touch me. It was so cute. He would graze my hand, shoulder, leg, with his hand. I would tap my foot against his "by accident" and little things like that. We seemed to have that chemistry going throughout the night. Towards the end of the night he brings up his lifestyle again to me. Claiming that in the coming months he is going to be much busier and nights like this one won't be as common. He says how he normally has Mondays off, but that might even go away for a while, if its busy. He says how lots of people in his field, meet a girl before there career takes off, and they make it work, and usually end up married, or they have to wait until their 30s because then their career starts to slow down, for them to be able to date. He then tells me how he most likely will leave for the winter because he can't stand it here with not being outside. He said he could be gone many months or just one or two. He said he needs someone who is okay with that and can handle it. I was speechless. This was my fear again. I didn't know what to say. I know I can do distance. I did it in the past. The only reason it failed was that the guy I was with couldn't do it, didn't want to put effort in, and didn't try hard enough. But I keep asking myself, do I want to do it? Do I want to be that girl waiting around? Do I want to have to go to christmas parties and new years events, and my birthday alone, even thought I have someone who is somewhere else? I truly don't know. I was so bummed that this had to end our great date. My mother told me that I should keep seeing him and see what happens, because we aren't serious and he could change his mind. I agree with her. She also said she thinks its strange he is bringing this up on a second date as its a lot to ask of someone so soon. I also agree with that. I'm unsure of why he is telling me this. Does he just want someone while he's here? He tells me all his friends are getting married and he is sick of being around all of them alone. He even told me recently he has been saying no to things, because he doesn't want to go alone. Is he telling me to warn me, but still wants to see me? Is he seeing if I am okay with his lifestyle? I can't quite figure out why he keeps mentioning it. I'm unsure of what to think or do really. I don't want to be in the situation, like I was with an ex, where I was almost trying to win him over so he would stay. Its not a game to be won, its a relationship between two people. I also don't want t be in that situation of counting down the days until he leaves, feeling rushed and pressured. I don't know what to do. I would like to keep dating him, but I am unsure if that's going to be okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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