I will never find a partner

[cybergurl]

I feel like I am going to cry over something so stupid, but it can't be helped because I am on my period right now... Well, I am more frustrated than sad. Whenever I get frustrated, I usually cry because I can't get what I want. I am 25 years old, and I never held a guy' hand. I never kissed a guy. I never went on a date. I am 100% inexperienced. Please forgive me for saying this, but... ALL guys are so freaking shallow! All they want is extremely attractive women. I also don't get why obese women ended up getting married. Oh, plain women got married, too! Tall women got married....... I am petite. I am 4'11" and I weigh 93 lbs. I was told that I am cute. WHY CAN'T I FREAKING GET A DATE??? Nobody asked me out, so does it mean I am really hideous??? Guys hardly gave me any attention, or they never treated me like their priority. They would end up with me if they had nobody to be with, so no I am not going to date them if they can't find someone else! I want someone to prioritize me in the first place, cherish me, and appreciate me.

 

I suspected that few guys were interested in me, but I wasn't interested in them or I figured that they would have to ask me out but they never did.... So they weren't interested in me then. According to my friend, one guy was interested in me so I waited for him to ask me out. It turned out that he gave up and found another crush. Now he is engaged. Why couldn't he ask me out?? I remember he told me all qualities he wanted in a girl. It turned out I met almost all of his qualities... Why can't he see it?? He had nobody to be with, so he had no choice but come back with his ex whom he dumped 5 years ago before they got back together. His ex doesn't meet his standards. They are engaged now....so whatever! I had few hopeless crushes on my college classmates. We talked sometimes. No freaking progress!! I talked to them less because I did not want to bother them. One guy in my freshman year of college was obviously interested in me, so he gave up on me... He didn't try to ask me out. I could tell when my guy friends enjoyed being around me so very much because I am fun, but... One of them happened to be my friend's boyfriend. When they broke up, he was interested in me. I didn't want to date him out of loyalty for my friend. I had crushes on my guy friends before, but my friends told me they like them. Of course, I never told them how I feel so I gave up on my crushes for them. I had a crush on my classmate, but a girl seemed to be after him. I gave up on him immediately. I can't seem to win. I can't get a boyfriend. I can't even get laid down!

 

I am tired of hearing people getting engaged frequently. Or people posted FB statuses asking for advice with wedding ceremony. Ok, ok... I am really sick of hearing engagement and wedding stories. I mean I don't have to be reminded how ugly I am and that I am going to be forever alone. I don't need those stories to worsen my depression and frustration. Lately, I do workout to tone up my abs because I do not want to be just lean. I want to be looking better in bikini, too if I have nice toned body. I also have BA's, and I have a job. I consider about going to graduate school next year. I know I will be a great girlfriend, but I still don't feel good enough because no guy asked me out. I feel like no matter what I do with my life, I still can't get a guy. I compared myself with other girls based on physical appearance, level of education, job, health, and etc. Even if I am better than them, they still got boyfriends!!! Why?? No, I am not going to try online dating site. I tried it once, and I hated it. I hate when someone told me that I will meet the right guy. I am 25 now, and I doubt that it will happen. There are single people in their 40's and 50's, so maybe I will be one of them someday....yay!!

[Elavohra]

Those who are in a relationship aren't even happy. So, relax girl, cheer up for being single. Being in a relationship is a terrible responsibility to be taken care of. Don't think committed people are living life happily. You better be single instead of dealing with all that drama and later on break up pain.

[Ric Thompson]

Hey Cybergurl, I can really sense your frustration. I know what it means to be the unwanted one, the one who is always the good friend and never more. I know for a fact that everyone wants to feel loved and wanted...needed rather. For years i felt that way. And then I found my solution that I think Can help you. Firstly, you said no guy have ever treated you like priority. Ask yourself this question honestly, have you ever treated yourself as priority? No one will ever treat you as priority until they see you treating yourself as priority. Thats just how the world works. Secondly, you mentioned obese women, plain women etc. You need to stop comparing yourself. Work on being the best petite you that you can be. and finally, what worked for me was just to force myself to appear confident over a long period of time. I say appear because god knows I wasnt, but once i started appearing confident, I got noticed, and then everything started falling in place!!! Hope these helps!!!

[Ric Thompson]

Ps.... I would advice you to explore yourself sexually before you allow someone else does. find out what you like first!!!!

[people500]

Cybergurl I think you are in too much of a rush to find someone. I have the opposite thing going on. I have people wanting to be with me, but I'm not really interested in a relationship unless the person is exactly what I would want. The best thing is to wait for the right guys to make a move on you. Make clues that you are into them, but don't rush anything. Let it come naturally and in time. You don't want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. You want to find someone who truly loves you for who, and what you are. Also don't put to much focus on other peoples love lives. It will only continue to put you down... Hope this helps

[Keyman]

So they weren't interested in me then. According to my friend, one guy was interested in me so I waited for him to ask me out. It turned out that he gave up and found another crush. Now he is engaged. Why couldn't he ask me out?? I remember he told me all qualities he wanted in a girl. It turned out I met almost all of his qualities... Why can't he see it?? He had nobody to be with, so he had no choice but come back with his ex whom he dumped 5 years ago before they got back together. His ex doesn't meet his standards.

 

Ever thought of asking a guy out that you have a crush on? Or is it jsut men who have to get used to being rejected all the time?

[Knight2001]

hi,

why not relax and when it happens it happens or as keyman said you could ask a guy out? you dont even have to ask them out on a date, yu could start doing stuff as friends.

but the way ou've described yourself you wont be waiting much longer either way.

good luck

[cybergurl]

Elavohra- Yes, couples are probably not happy.

 

Ric Thompson - I mean guys never put me on their number one crush. When his first crush doesn't like him back, he moves to another girl and tries. If I was his #5 crush, I don't want to be with him if I am his backup plan. Anyway, I wonder how I treat myself like a priority. I mean I am not a people pleaser and I am not exactly "selfish." Let's say I am in the middle. Anyway, yes I should probably stop comparing myself with other girls.

 

people500 - I am not sure if I am in rush of finding someone else. I mean I don't show it. I feel like I've been too slow. For example, I found out that a guy was interested in me. I didn't do anything, or I didn't say anything. I did not try to make efforts. I simply waited for him to make a move on me. He probably thought I wasn't interested in him so he moved to someone else. I've been on the Earth for 25 years, so I doubt that a guy would make a move on me though. I am going to be forever alone lol.

 

Keyman - It is too late he is already engaged. I was too scared to ask him out, so I kind of hoped that he would ask me out once we become good friends. We've been good friends, but it never happened.

 

Knight2001 - I tried to become friend with some guys. They still did not ask me out... They ended up being with someone else. I don't know what I should have done. When I noticed that other girls seem to be more suitable for them or they have more in common, I kind of convinced them to be together or said that they would make a cute couple. Or tease them that they are a perfect match. I guess I hoped that they would decline and say they like me instead, but they never did. They thought I was serious. Oh, well.

[jennylove]

Just by reading your posts, you sound down on your luck but also very full of yourself. Go ahead and complain about the tall lanky plain Jane getting dates or the obese chick. You are no better than them. If I were a guy, I'd prefer height over petite and plain versus high maintenance.

[LaHermes]

OP: So other people's events (engagements, weddings and the like) are the cause of you feeling hideous. And cause you to experience depression and frustration.

 

These are external factors, OP.

 

Could I advise that it might be a good idea to be glad for others and mentally wish them luck. You would be amazed how changing your attitude might make you more attractive.

 

Why shouldn't "obese" women get married?! Or what you call plain women? Or tall women? They have every right to get engaged and/or married.

 

Quit comparing yourself. Improve the attitude, which has nothing to do with your level of education.

 

You wrote this:

 

"Whenever I get frustrated, I usually cry because I can't get what I want"

 

You are 24, OP, not 4!

 

 

Might I also add that many couples are quite happy, and there may be some that aren't. Generalizations!!

[cybergurl]

Jennylove - I am not high maintenance. I do not wear makeup at all because I don't know how to do this. I read somewhere that guys prefer short girls, so I guess it is false. Nobody asked me out. I am sure guys prefer tall girls.

 

LaHermes - I always told or texted them congratulations and said, "I am so happy for you! I wish you both for the best!!!" for years. They thanked me. I hoped that it would make me feel better and more attractive. Look, I am still single today. I always bottled up my feelings, and nobody knew that I was jealous of other happy couples. I appeared optimistic and happy for other people. Where is good karma? I've always been a good friend and there for people. I wish they appreciate me more. I am not expecting money in return. I mean I want them to cherish me and listen to me. I am tired of one-sided friendships, but at the same time, I like to make people feeling like they have someone to talk to when they need a friend! I don't know why I am nice though I "hate" people. Sometimes, I need a friend to vent out, but I don't know who to turn to. I don't want to bother them or be burden to them.

 

I didn't cry in the front of anyone though. I cry in privacy, and nobody knew I did cry. I cry more when I am on my period. I am like a completely different person. I put myself all down. Yeah, I shouldn't compare myself to other people. I guess I've been building up everything on the inside since I rarely vent out. It is just frustrating when life is unfair. For example, I was never rebellious when I was in high school. I did get high GPA in high school and college. I never partied or did drugs. I didn't take advantage of anyone or I just did put myself in their shoes. To be clarified, I am not a doormat. I wouldn't give a pen to someone when they need it if I have only one pen with me and I need it, so I declined. I've done right things in my life, and I got nothing. I tried to wait patiently for the right guy to show up, but I am still single at age of 25. I don't want to wait until I am 40 because I want to have biological children. I know women in 40's can have babies, but I'd have a hard time to conceive a baby because I don't ovulate every month so I'd need extra years for attempts.

[LaHermes]

Hey, Cybergirl!

 

Quit talking yourself into a corner. You are only 25 for heaven's sakes. Nowadays few people marry before age 30 or even 32, at least where I come from. So try to relax and not get yourself into a twist.

 

Yep. Life is unfair at times, and that has nothing to do with "karma".

What you ask for and what you get can be very different things.

 

You can't just wait for Mr. Right to show up. It doesn't work like that.

 

Now, maybe it would be an idea to be less of a "good" girl or what you perceive as a good girl. Don't be so intense. Because even if you think it doesn't show, believe me it does.

 

Fairness or unfairness has nothing to do with whether you were rebellious or not in high school (in my opinion a rebellious streak is a great thing to have lol), or whether you partied or not. There is nothing wrong with partying. Obviously not 24/7 but partying is good, and relaxing.

 

Nothing wrong with make-up either lol. If you want to wear it well and good. And I don't mean putting a kilo of the stuff on your face.

 

Short girls, tall girls, guys like all kinds.

 

Don't put yourself down, and quit the crying jags. No good for you or anyone else.

 

Perhaps be a little less goody two-shores for a change. How about it?

[cybergurl]

Hey LaHermes!

 

Yes, people get married after age of 30 nowadays. I mean I need to be in a relationship for 3-5 years before I get married. I also don't have any dating experience, and I don't think I can marry my first boyfriend unless I am extremely lucky. If I got my first boyfriend when I am 30 and he didn't mind that I do not have any dating experience, perhaps we break up when I am 33. Who knows when I'll find the next man? I wouldn't jump to next relationship. I'd have to wait at least 6 months before I get back to the dating pool. Perhaps, I won't find the next man till I am 35 or even 37. If I got the next man at age of 37 and we end up getting married, I'd probably be 40 or 41. If we didn't end up getting married, I'd date the 3rd guy when I am in my 40's lol! I know nothing is wrong with getting married in 40's, but I probably won't be able to have biological children.

 

Well, when I was a teenager, I was rebellious for only one thing... I was staying up late. Nothing special lol. Everyone stays up late. I also had nobody to be rebellious with because I did not have many friends or I was not close to anyone. In college, I happen to have friends who don't like to party. I tried to go to the big party two times times because I was pressured to go there. I just sat down and nobody talked to me until I saw someone I know to talk to. I left early. The party is supposed to be fun and relaxing, but it was very nerve-wrecking for me haha. I don't blend well. One time, my roommate had a small party in our room and I had an opportunity to party... Unfortunately, I had a lot of homework to do that night so I only drank little alcohol at that time. Lame lol. I didn't want to get wasted, and then I'd have hungover in the next day. I'd be unable to focus on my homework. Yes, I was a nerd!!!

 

I wanted to try make-up, but I don't know how to do it lol.. I mean I can watch tutorial but still.

 

I am not completely the goody two-shores actually. Even if I never have been on dates or partied, I cussed and made dirty jokes sometimes. I do not dress exactly modesty but not too revealing. Just well-balanced. Due to my shyness, people probably saw me as the "good" girl. You said I have to be a little less goody two-shores so what else should I do? lol.

[Batya33]

Why 3-5 years before getting married? Especially since you haven't even met someone you think has potential (disclaimer -we were together 3 years pre-marriage but partly that was because we were long distance). My husband and I got married in our early 40s and became parents 3 months later - first time marriage, first time parents, first time I left my hometown, 6 months later after 43 years there. Guess what -human beings are very resilient especially when they want something badly enough. Being married is I find much easier than being single and also harder but in different ways (although I never experienced being married really without also being a parent).

 

I danced and partied and did not get drunk -ever- or use drugs -ever -was I a nerd? Who cares. I am petite and thin and always has been. The things that helped me meet more men - in my teens- learning to dance which helped me combat my shyness back then - in my 20s and 30s being very proactive about meeting people although I almost always let the men ask me out. In my 30s - online dating sites plus much better hair products for my frizzy hair helped a lot too. Plus growing confidence in general and in part because of my career/educational accomplishments -not in a braggy way at all -just increased feelings of confidence and competence which helped me make better choices.

 

I never ever told myself that I loved being single or told myself the negatives of being coupled but I also never really felt lonely when I was single. I lived my life and focused on my goal of finding a good match and getting married and having the opportunity to have a family -and I never rationalized, ever, that I didn't want that badly. I also understood there were no guarantees.

 

What are you doing to change your situation -what social or volunteer activities do you do? Who do you ask as far as being set up with eligible men? I'm almost 51 and I've been setting up people for many years. I met one of my long term relationships through a set up (former classmate set me up with her co-worker, we were together 7 years). Several of my friends met their really great spouses via on line dating web sites. Another met her husband at a bar, another married her dance instructor and another met her husband one rainy valentine's day night in her building's laundromat - she was in her mid-30s. I met men through friends, volunteer work, work (how I originally met my husband), at singles dances, resorts, and in my apartment building. And through on line sites and way back when, personal ads.

 

And I almost never felt jaded or cynical and rarely had pity parties. And no I wasn't beautiful or glamorous or flat-abbed despite being slim.

 

What changes do you plan to make?

[LaHermes]

CyberG.

 

Quit doing sums in your head about the years ahead. Lol. All we have is the present moment anyhow. No one can tell the future.

 

Who says you have to be in a relationship for 3 to 5 years before marrying? Where do you get these ideas. I think that (and just thinking of self here) two years is more than sufficient.

 

That should have read "goody two-shoes" lol. So, anyhow, a little change of image, what do you think? Attitude? No one is saying you have to go on a mad partying binge or anything like that.

 

I've stayed up late all my life. No big deal. It's the way I am.

 

The make-up, well a very discreet amount does not require any great mastery of the art.

 

I do laugh remembering now when I and three of my friends were 16, at secondary school, and we absolutely had to try make-up for the first time. So, even though all four of us were of entirely different colouring we bought just one jar of make-up, one shade, as we didn't have much money. I think the result was less than wonderful but we felt so grown up. My mother's only remark I remember was "you four look like circus-women". LOL.

 

So, go for it. Try something different. Don't get too set on "finding a man". That kind of anxiety shows, and does not give off a good vibe. Trust me.

[Capricorn3]

I feel like I am going to cry over something so stupid, but it can't be helped because I am on my period right now... Well, I am more frustrated than sad. Whenever I get frustrated, I usually cry because I can't get what I want. I am 25 years old, and I never held a guy' hand. I never kissed a guy. I never went on a date. I am 100% inexperienced. Please forgive me for saying this, but... ALL guys are so freaking shallow! All they want is extremely attractive women. I also don't get why obese women ended up getting married. Oh, plain women got married, too! Tall women got married....... I am petite. I am 4'11" and I weigh 93 lbs. I was told that I am cute. WHY CAN'T I FREAKING GET A DATE??? Nobody asked me out, so does it mean I am really hideous??? Guys hardly gave me any attention, or they never treated me like their priority. They would end up with me if they had nobody to be with, so no I am not going to date them if they can't find someone else! I want someone to prioritize me in the first place, cherish me, and appreciate me.

 

I had few hopeless crushes on my college classmates. We talked sometimes. No freaking progress!! I talked to them less because I did not want to bother them. One guy in my freshman year of college was obviously interested in me, so he gave up on me... He didn't try to ask me out. I could tell when my guy friends enjoyed being around me so very much because I am fun, but... One of them happened to be my friend's boyfriend. When they broke up, he was interested in me. I didn't want to date him out of loyalty for my friend. I had crushes on my guy friends before, but my friends told me they like them. Of course, I never told them how I feel so I gave up on my crushes for them. I had a crush on my classmate, but a girl seemed to be after him. I gave up on him immediately. I can't seem to win. I can't get a boyfriend. I can't even get laid down!

 

I am tired of hearing people getting engaged frequently. Or people posted FB statuses asking for advice with wedding ceremony. Ok, ok... I am really sick of hearing engagement and wedding stories. I mean I don't have to be reminded how ugly I am and that I am going to be forever alone. I don't need those stories to worsen my depression and frustration. I feel like no matter what I do with my life, I still can't get a guy. Even if I am better than them, they still got boyfriends!!! Why?? No, I am not going to try online dating site. I tried it once, and I hated it. I hate when someone told me that I will meet the right guy. I am 25 now, and I doubt that it will happen.

I don't know, but when I read all of the above all I get is a very strong "woe is me" attitude. And my guess is, that's why guys stay away. It seems to ooze from every pore and believe me, people pick up on this from miles away.

 

I could of course be wrong, but that's how it comes across to me and if you feel this low about yourself, with such low self-esteem, how do you expect others to feel about you? No-one wants that (sorry).

 

I think a change of attitude would be a good start.

[cybergurl]

To answer two people who asked me why wait for 3-5 years before marriage, is that better time to get married? If I got married earlier than 3 years in a relationship, is that too soon? I don't want to look like I rush for marriage if we got married in two years. I also want to know him well before we get married. I don't want to end up marrying a psychopath or cheater. I don't want to be the victim of domestic violence, either. Sometimes, people became bored with each other because they fall out of love or they are not attracted to each other anymore. They just treat each other like family members. They just don't kiss or have sex anymore, but they do not cheat on each other ever. Oh, well. I know it is better than cheating.

 

Batya33 - That was what I did -- focusing on my goal especially when I was in high school and college. Now I have a job to gain work experience before I go back to school for graduate program. Unfortunately, I hardly see my coworkers and they are in their 50's or older. I know nothing is wrong with dating older people, but I have a age preference -- Guys my age or up to 5 years older than me. I don't see there is any way I can meet a guy because I barely meet any people since I am out of college and my work is not an answer. I also have a small social circle of friends, and I don't think they do know any guy to set up with me. They do not have many friends, ether. They still got their boyfriends though. Also, my interests are uncommon. The problem is... I am not into volunteers, dances, or etc. I was always told that I should enjoy what I do so I'd meet a right guy, but it didn't help. I like to play video games (not addictive), read stuff, and watch TV shows or anime. I'm not an interesting person lol. I consider about going to graduate school to pursue my goal, but the problem is that my field is mostly female-dominated. That is why I doubt that I'll meet any guy unless I give online dating a second chance. Guys in POF are sicko, so I should try online dating sites. I am cheap, and I don't want to pay lol!

 

LaHermes - Haha, your story about you and three friends especially your mom's reaction was funny lol!

 

Um, perhaps I have to change my attitude. I rarely complain around the lack of my love life in real life, so my friends thought that I was waiting for the right guy and not rushing. They said they have respect for me. One of my guy friends told me I play too hard to get. He once liked me and I didn't know. When someone asked me why I am not dating anyone, I did not want to say, "Nobody wants to date me" because it would make me sound like a loser lol. I just answered, "I am not rushing. I focus on myself. I am waiting to meet the right guy" or just "I am picky/I have higher standards." I am not sure if a change of attitude would be the answer. I was told that I never showed interests in any guy. Whenever someone assumed that I may be interested in a guy, I got all defensive and insisted that I am not.

 

Capicorn3 - Maybe. I dunno. I didn't show a "woe is me" attitude in real life. I have no problem with getting along with other people. If I have to change my attitude, what if it is not the answer? Few kids in high school suspected I was lesbian because I never showed interest in guys or talked about them. I was just too shy to show interest in them or talk about them, so I acted like I don't care about guys and dating. Oh, I didn't like every guy. I am probably attracted to about 2-3 guys every year?

[Batya33]

I think this is about you having a negative perspective on men and relationships and getting in your own way by being too rigid about what you're willing to do/try to meet people including men to date. A lot of this is in your control. You can become a more interesting person by getting involved in more activities, by going to places where you can meet people in your age range, by asking your co-workers if they know anyone or know activities where you might meet people, etc.

 

I am not suggesting you do anything I didn't do to meet men. And no I don't think it's necessary to be with someone 3 years prior to marriage. One year? Yes. I think it's important to see someone through all the seasons/major holidays and lots of stuff that often doesn't happen in less than a year- getting promoted, losing a job, getting sick, taking a vacation, family-related stuff ,etc. So yes I think sometime between a year and two years is perfect.

 

I think you need to decrease the video games/watching TV as those are passive activities and please don't knock all volunteering -what about volunteering backstage at a community theater, helping to build sets or work on lighting.

[jennylove]

Jennylove - I am not high maintenance. I do not wear makeup at all because I don't know how to do this. I read somewhere that guys prefer short girls, so I guess it is false. Nobody asked me out. I am sure guys prefer tall girls.

 

LaHermes - I always told or texted them congratulations and said, "I am so happy for you! I wish you both for the best!!!" for years. They thanked me. I hoped that it would make me feel better and more attractive. Look, I am still single today. I always bottled up my feelings, and nobody knew that I was jealous of other happy couples. I appeared optimistic and happy for other people. Where is good karma? I've always been a good friend and there for people. I wish they appreciate me more. I am not expecting money in return. I mean I want them to cherish me and listen to me. I am tired of one-sided friendships, but at the same time, I like to make people feeling like they have someone to talk to when they need a friend! I don't know why I am nice though I "hate" people. Sometimes, I need a friend to vent out, but I don't know who to turn to. I don't want to bother them or be burden to them.

 

I didn't cry in the front of anyone though. I cry in privacy, and nobody knew I did cry. I cry more when I am on my period. I am like a completely different person. I put myself all down. Yeah, I shouldn't compare myself to other people. I guess I've been building up everything on the inside since I rarely vent out. It is just frustrating when life is unfair. For example, I was never rebellious when I was in high school. I did get high GPA in high school and college. I never partied or did drugs. I didn't take advantage of anyone or I just did put myself in their shoes. To be clarified, I am not a doormat. I wouldn't give a pen to someone when they need it if I have only one pen with me and I need it, so I declined. I've done right things in my life, and I got nothing. I tried to wait patiently for the right guy to show up, but I am still single at age of 25. I don't want to wait until I am 40 because I want to have biological children. I know women in 40's can have babies, but I'd have a hard time to conceive a baby because I don't ovulate every month so I'd need extra years for attempts.

 

Some guys prefer Petite, some tall, some BBW; some like big boobs, some prefer big bootys. It's whatever. I've never known any man to say they prefer a woman with a lot of makeup though. You mentioned you do not wear makeup and that's great. But maybe just a touch of color wouldn't hurt and it may enhance your natural beauty without going overboard. I get hit on much more when I have eyeliner and tinted lipgloss on.

 

Otherwise I agree with everything Batya said. If you want a boyfriend, you really need to put yourself out there. Volunteer work or dating sites are awesome places to start with. But don't just show up and sit idle, ya gotta work it. Put several pics up if on a dating site and write a clever but honest bio. If your volunteering somewhere, let your sun shine and invite someone out for coffee or whatever. Finding a bf and life partner takes work, he's not going to come knocking on your door and despite what the movies show, you probably won't meet him at a grocery store or gym (unless you pursue him lol).

 

Either way, work with what you have. You are thin and petite, so work with that by wearing flattering clothes. Enhance your natural Beaty with a touch of makeup, enhance your hair by applying gel to help the curl formation or to help straight hair more bounce. Werk it!

[EtrnalOptimist]

No one will ever treat you as priority until they see you treating yourself as priority. Thats just how the world works.

 

^^^

That !

[Pleasedonot5]

cybergurl,

 

Hope I can help!

 

It seems you are making excuses for every potential partner you come across. While in some of those situations, like loyalty to your friend, you made the right choice, why are you so concerned with being #5 if a guy just wants to hang out or go on dates? It's understandable to be upset if you were his #5 current FWB, or felt like #5 in a committed relationship. However, if he does not know you, and wants to go on dates, and he's willing to do so after it not working out with 4 others, that's not a big deal and shouldn't hurt your pride at all. He's willing to go on a date with you and get to know you -- that should be flattering!

 

And I don't agree with some of the people who are posting back some critical things here in a non-constructive manner. You do not need to listen to people like jennylove who are bashing you on a self-help site. Though, they do have one small point: the problem is likely something you are creating for yourself. When guys show interest, how are you indicating your interest back?