Confused ex-boyfriend back after 2 months of NC

[mayret91]

So my ex broke up with me 2 months ago because supposedly he said we weren’t compatible and that he was just not happy. Throughout our whole relationship he has always been very over protective and jealous. There was an instance where he saw some messages on my phone of me speaking to guys but it was never anything flirty and this was really early on in our relationship when I wasn’t so sure about us yet. He has never forgiven me for that and has always used it against me. From that moment on he started getting really jealous. If we would go to a basketball game he’d tell me that I was looking at guys. Which I was not. It got to the point where I would walk and just look at the ceiling because I felt he was always looking at me. He also has an anger problem where he just gets mad and will be like that for hours or until he goes to bed and wakes up like nothing ever happened. He says that I never appreciate him and that he doesn’t trust me & never will. I have apologized over this soo many times already, even though I know I never did anything wrong to begin with. Relationship got worse and he would go on to insult me about my social media that he didn’t like half of the guys on there. So I went on to remove my social media. Little by little I started transforming myself into the person I thought he’d want. But he’s just never happy. And I am in love with this man. We went out for 9 months, I’m 25 & he is 35. After he broke up with me I came to terms with the fact that I can’t force anyone to be with me. So little by little I have forced myself to move on by keeping busy with work, school & going out with my girlfriends. Recently I had posted a picture of me & another guy. I guess he saw it and went mad because he called me last Sunday & asked me to go over his place to talk. He then went off crying to me that he was so hurt from everything I had done to him especially while we were broken up. How I re-opened my social media & had the same guys he didn’t like on there. And how dare me ever post a photo with another guy that is not him. He told me “You said I was the love of your life, and you made me look like a fool.” So I explained to him that we weren’t together anymore and that this is what he wanted. After that night I went home & we have been talking on and off ever since. This past weekend he left on a trip with his parents & I left on one as well with my girlfriends for a concert I had. While he was on his vacation he called me at 3am again crying and to insult me about my social media. I try talking to him and explaining but there is just no way around him. He is so stubborn. He’s always pointing finger at me like it’s my fault. He just can’t get over what happened. Which to begin with, was nothing! After that I just told him to take some time to think about things and enjoy his vacation with the family. We agreed to speak that following Monday. Monday came and he never called or texted me. So I texted him and he never replied. When I managed to get a hold of him through the phone he said he was really upset and trying to avoid speaking to me. So he told me to go over and talk. Once I got to his house he was dressed really nice & when I asked him why he said he wanted to take me out to eat! I got really happy. Every time he Facetimes me or we are face to face he smiles. After we ate and drank wine we had sex of course. He just tells me that he’s hurt from everything and that he is scared of loving me. He even went to tell me “What happens if I ever have a kid with you and you end up leaving me?, I would die.” I kept telling him I’m in love with him and that we cannot live in the future. All that we have guaranteed is in the present moment. I also told him that we can’t be in this whole back and forth dilemma because it is not healthy for either of us. He is always going from super sweet and crying to super a-hole insulting me. The last thing he ever said to me was “I’m sorry bit I don’t want to hurt you and I’m not ok either. I can’t ask you to wait around because that would be selfish but I’m not really over the past.” I wrote that I wouldn’t bother him anymore. I’m just so confused over this whole situation. I took off my social media again because I don’t want him calling me in the middle of the night crying again. And I don’t know if he’ll ever be over the past. I don’t know if he’ll reach out to me again. I’m so lost and confused.

[MissCanuck]

My ex was like this.

 

There are serious emotional instability issues with both him and your ex, and it will get worse. His problems aren't because of you. They are because he is clearly not a mentally well person. Take it from someone who's been there - do not go back.

[Rustysuit]

That's a big no no if I ever saw one

 

RUN

[indea08]

He's 100% trying to control you. Why would you allow this? Being with him long term will not be fun. I know it's hard but force yourself to move on, and quit changing who you are for men!

[shellyf62]

What is about him that you love? I honestly cant see one redeeming feature in this guy.

 

You need to leave & block him everywhere, he is a very scary person

[Capricorn3]

What is about him that you love? I honestly cant see one redeeming feature in this guy.

 

You need to leave & block him everywhere, he is a very scary person

 

I was thinking the same thing. OP, get rid of him once and for all and NEVER go back.