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Can't get involved with other people, always have bad break ups


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I have been single for a little over a year now, and sometimes I just feel numb towards other people. It's like I'm outside a bubble where everyone inside is meeting people, getting into relationships or just having fun with different people and I'm outside that bubble looking in and thinking to myself that I don't belong there, that it's "for other people" and that I can't get involved with anyone because it will just end in a bad way anyway.


During this whole year single I have not met one single guy that was at least worth it. ALL of them were really bad or nothing that really caught my eye in the sense that they tried to make it work with me. Right after my ex and I broke up I got involved with a guy who was a pathologycal liar and had a kid with a girl and had another girl pregnant who he had gotten pregnant before we met. We were on and off for 6 months and he hurt me a lot, I was nothing but loyal and nice to him and all I got was lies. Then I stayed single for a couple months, and I was happy because my heart belonged to no one. I was finally protected from getting hurt.


Then in the beginning of the year I got with a guy who also had a daughter who he did not care for, was almost going to jail for not paying and claimed he "didn't love her", as time passed I became aware that he was addicted to cocaine (he used it but I hadn't realized it was an addiction) (may I remind that I'm 23 and all these guys are at most 28 years old). He would claim he loved me but while he was with me he was getting back with his ex and simply disappeared. After that I got together with two other guys who were also jerks, lied. I recently went out with this guy I was in love with 4 years ago and he still the does the things I broke up with him 4 years ago.


When my ex broke up with me last year I almost became depressed. If you read my previous threads you'll see I hit rock bottom. And I promised myself I would never love anyone more than I loved myself again. And that has stayed true, but it also stops me from meeting new people. It's gotten to the point where I get repulsed by guys and the way they approach me, my involvement with guys were so bad and so bizarre that even my friends sometimes make fun of me because of these situations that are so rare to happen but seemed to be happening in a row with me, one after another. I don't feel sad, just frustrated that I didn't have a "normal" break up with any of them, they were all chaotic or full of lies or drama.


For some reason I keep getting involved with guys that either have an addiction or some self esteem problem, and I know I deserve better so I just keep myself from getting to know anyone because I keep thinking they're gonna let me down again. I don't know what to do, it's almost laughable that in this whole entire year I did not meet a single guy I could look back and say "wel,l he was decent, but we just didn't work out", NO, all of them were downright disrespectful to me in different ways.


One of my "goals" was always meet someone and have a happy, healthy relationship, but I'm starting to tell myself that I'm better off alone, just the thought of going out with someone or kissing or anything gets me lazy and I'd rather go out with my friends or stay at home watching TV than go through the trouble all over again, I got hurt so many times that I'm just out of patience to deal with another heartbreak.

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You haven't been single for a year, you've dated at least 4 guys in a year. You might find actually being single useful. It sounds like you have bad taste in men, why not take a break and figure out who you are instead of falling into relationships at the drop of a hat. Take some time off. Get to know yourself.

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As I mentioned in your other thread, Lav. I think it would do you good to get yourself into therapy to delve into why you are having such a hard time with ALL of your relationships (with your mother as well). You seem to be attracted to men that have a similar personality to that of your mothers with whom you have a less then stellar relationship with.


Some one to help you come to terms with your poor interaction with her and to help you to regain your self-worth that the relationship has stolen from you will aid you in ALL of your relationship... both the platonic and the romantic ones.

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