LaHermes Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 All I can say, Coco, is proceed with caution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coconut5 Posted July 19, 2017 Author Share Posted July 19, 2017 He sure is entitled to his feelings. We all are. Doesn't mean we have to take it out on the "other". However, we have a saying which goes a bit like this: "what nature didn't give you no university can teach you." Agreed. Absolutely not. I have being in an abusive relationship in the past (my marriage) with names being called on me on a daily basis and he even broke my bones once. So believe me, I am always watching people's behavior instead of just believing how great they say they are. Note is taken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krankor Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 If this truly was an isolated incident that he has apologized for, I'd let it go and take it at face value--he was having a tough day and overreacted. He was a colossal jagoff to act that way, no doubt. He asked you out to lunch and should have been happy to treat you to whatever looked good to you on the menu. Having said that, if I had to guess, I'd figure that he felt as if you were taking liberties with his money. Generally people out for a weekday lunch order off the lunch menu. You were under no obligation to do so, but that may have been what he expected. Obviously, $7 isn't going to break the bank for a man of his means, but it's the principle of the thing. So if you happened to catch him in a bad/stressed mood that day maybe it just kind of snowballed. I'm not defending his behavior--he was wrong--but I'm just offering my best guess as to where it may have come from. So, I would let it go for now, but I would put this incident on file and watch for similar things. I also wouldn't become financially dependent on him anytime soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 It means that I'm not the one to take advantage on his financial situation. So it could not be like he is feeling and taking from him. . Yes, civil. I do not scream, I do not offend. Splitting the bill is not an option for me. Most of the restaurants he wants to go to are way too expensive for my finances. He also wants me and my 2 kids to drop what I do for living and to move in with him, so he would support us. Clearly its not an option for me at the moment. Not sure if it's the real reason why he is angry, but I will never move in with a boyfriend. I would need to be married first, and depending on him does not sound inviting either. Glad to hear that you're holding your ground, as he just gave you a sample of what any dependency on him would likely devolve into. I'd tell him that his apology is accepted, but that doesn't make his behavior tolerable ever again. He can decide whether or not I'm worth making this up to me by any means of his choice, expensive or not, AND whether or not he can accept me being hyper-vigilant against any whiff of similar noise in the future. I'd clarify that we should both WANT to learn whether his issue is passing or chronic. You can't behave your way past chronic--and neither can he. Head high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coconut5 Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 I would like to thank everyone for your answer. It meant a lot to me. So a quick update: He came in today and he said he was very sorry, it was suppose to be a joke that ended up sounding rude which was not his intention. Said it would not ever happen again. From there the conversation turned from it to how he wants to get married to me (he switched his mind from living together to marriage), how he loves my kids and would be a great father figure to them (he always reads to them, cares about their studies, takes them jet skiing, play, makes sure his house has all the food they like to eat, etc... / biological father is absent) Indeed he is a great man and I love him, during the whole time we are together this was the first time I ever felt offended by him. We will see. Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I would like to thank everyone for your answer. It meant a lot to me. So a quick update: He came in today and he said he was very sorry, it was suppose to be a joke that ended up sounding rude which was not his intention. Said it would not ever happen again. From there the conversation turned from it to how he wants to get married to me (he switched his mind from living together to marriage), how he loves my kids and would be a great father figure to them (he always reads to them, cares about their studies, takes them jet skiing, play, makes sure his house has all the food they like to eat, etc... / biological father is absent) Indeed he is a great man and I love him, during the whole time we are together this was the first time I ever felt offended by him. We will see. Hugs! Awesome!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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