I still love my ex, but she moved on with someone else

[DoubleT]

My ex and I were both each other's first true love. I was the first guy she ever dated, her first everything. We always wanted to have a future together and end up being married some day. We have dated for 2.5 years, however we faced lots of problems throughout the relationship which led to it ending badly. Most of the relationship was long distance which was a huge part of the problem. We starrted off the relationship full of winter romance where we got together back in December 2014. It was the so called honeymoon period, but it being the first love for us both made it even more special. I am 4 years older which was a perfect age difference. I studied abroad so I had to leave her back home where I had to go continue my studies. For the first 6-7 months all of our problems were minimal, and we were so in love. She loved me endlessly! I was so in love with her as well. We were 3 months long distance then I came back home twice to visit her, but then the main challenge we faced was a proceeding 8 month long distance where the next time I was able to see her was the following December, a year into our relationship. It was really hard and we fought and had issues, but we went through it and it was worth it when we met again and felt that it made our love even stronger. However, the second year of our relationship was like a cycle, full of ups and downs. We fought a lot, which lead to us breaking up for 2 months, but we kept contact during the breakup and got back right before the summer. It was still long distance, but we spent the full summer together that year (June-August 2016). The summer was amazing as it was a chance where we made up for all of our time apart. After the summer went I went back to college, and we went through long distance again, the fights continued and it was much worse than before. She was very picky and I would lose my temper and we would fight on a daily basis, I didn't know how to deal with it. She would tell me that I would always take her for granted knowing that she will always be there, and that I would show her her worth, and that I would show her that I love her rather than saying without actions. She'd tell me that she feels that I am perfect when I am trying to get her when we break up, but the bad habits show up again when we get back. We broke up end of november but reconciled again end of december (2 years into our relationship) when I came back in winter break. I promised her change and showed her how much I love her, where she wad afraid that this time it would be just words like before. We got back and I hoped that our previous problems wouldn't show up again. But, as soon as I left and the old problems showed up again, and we hust couldn't tolerate any mistakes by one anothet. Back in February on my birthday, she told me how much she loves me and she wished that we end up together and our forever becomes like the early stages of our relationship and that we need to hold on tighter because our love is so big for us to give up on it. We would have good days and bad ones, and the cycle continued. Till in this past March we fought a lot, and she just couldnt take it anymore and broke up with me, towards the end of March. I tried everything to take her back but she just couldnt as she told me she is fed up and is not healthy due to the continuous fights and that she is tired of being hurt. Throhougut april we kept contact every few days, I initiate some while she initiates others. I went back home in May and met her but she refused to reconcile saying that we will fall into the same issues again, and that she doesn't want to go back to being weak again. I went back to the U.S to resume classes, and we had a conversation together where she told me she doesn't want to be in any kind of relationship right now, she just wants to focus on her well being. We had a big fight afterwards, and then she blocked me off of everything. I texted her a week later, she told me she is moving on with someone else. I stayed away and gave her space for about a month. I heard that she started dating a younger guy who she is a year and a half older since the end of May. They have been together for about two months now. I am just shocked and it is killing me how fast this happened as I still love her. I texted her 3 weeks ago when I came back telling her that we still need yot talk about things face to face. She told me she wouldnt be comfortable being with me alone without her boyfriend being there and that all of this is too soon for her and it will cause her issues if we talk. I wished her well and told her to take good care of herslef. It has been 3 weeks of No Contact and I am feeling better now, but she is always on my mind. She seems so happy and public with her new relationship, and I see them on the beach all the time enjoying themselves. Thing is I am just so shocked regarding the transition and how this happened. The guy was a close friend of hers from her school, but she always told me he was like a younger brother to her. Anyways, she is leaving for classes in the UK starting September, while the guy is still in highschool, and still has one more year to graduate. I just want to know if she still loves me, or thinks about me. I really do love her, and hope that one day she could notice what we had was real, because she loved me with all of he heart as well.

[Prolargent 5x5]

I hope you come together with her. You really love her, it is real love.

[DoubleT]

I really hope she does come back. Ill focus on myself for now and my well being, but I know deep inside she still has something for me

[MissCanuck]

It's an old but true cliche: first loves are very rarely our last.

 

First loves are significant but they almost never go the distance, simply because both parties are just discovering how they are in relationships and what they want in a partner. We rarely get it "right" the first time, which is why people tend to have a few partners before really settling down.

 

I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's quite true these days. She has moved on, and I am sure she still thinks about you but not in the same way she once did. I know, it hurts a lot. But the silver lining here is that you are also still quite young yourself and are in your prime. You too will meet a bigger and better love, when your heart is ready for it.

[Knight2001]

she's moved on man, forget about her. she wont eb coming back, and even if she did, would you want her back.

stay NC and focus on yourself. it's the only way forward. do not live in the past.

good luck my friend.

[DoubleT]

thanks for the advice!

[DoubleT]

I am trying to move on with my life and am doing well. Talked to multiple girls and went on dates since the break up. Ill stay NC of course as I did all I can do previously. But, it is just that there was something about her and we were planning to take the next step soon. Ill always care for her regardless of who we both end up with. As for me now, I am hanging out with my friends most of the time and enjoying what is left of the summer so I can shift my focus.

[Elavohra]

Dude, try to.move on now. Even I have just lost my first love. We broke up in late April and till previous Sunday I kept on trying mending things between us. He's so determined with his decision of moving on. Even we had fights and all that drama which is part and parcel of any relationship but he's just not ready to reconcile anything. I was unknowingly taking his personal space. I made mistakes unknowingly and I had indeed apologised for everything but he said he's lost all the feelings for me and sort of now don't like to talk to me and neither likes me to text him anymore. I am also on my NC since Monday so that I can get out of his life forever and i get the chance to move on.

 

So, before you hear all that crap from your love, better move on and focus on yourself and make your life better.

[Longview01]

I hope you come together with her. You really love her, it is real love.

 

and in the real world its prob best op to move on and heal