Duzie16 Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Hey guys, Was a member year some years ago, it really helped with my last breakup so im hoping o can find some good advice again. Back story; we were together 6.5 years. She has 2 kids who i became very close with. I love them dearly and was like a father to them.The last few weeks were rocky to say the least. Alot of fighting. Disagreements etc.. she decided to move out 2 days ago. I found out today she moved back in with her ex. He has always been in the picture. 50/50 custody. At this point that is the most devastating thing. My emotions are all over the place and cant belive she did this to me. I am going through the grieving process as best i can but it is very lonely in my house. This is going to be a long recovery. I feel crushed Just wanted some ears for listening. Thanks to anyone who chimes in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyman Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 We are here Bruv. Like last time, keep sharing your recovery with us and we'll be here to support you o the down days and slap you when all you want to do is ring her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duzie16 Posted July 19, 2017 Author Share Posted July 19, 2017 Thanks keyman. Only slept about 3 hours or so. This is basically day 1 for me . Hopefully it only gets better. I think the relationship was eventually going to come to and end as hard as it is to admit that. I still love her with all my heart but going back to her exs is something im really having difficulty with. I asked her politely to not text or call me for anything. I plan on staying strong in that dept as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekAvocado Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Hang in there man, you'll get there. I'm on my day 6 of no contact as well, still feel painful when i saw her going back to her ex but i know the only way forward is to look ahead and and not think of the past too much. Yeah i will get some memories that bite me from time to time but i know, one day those memories will just be memories and the pain will lessen and eventually gone. All the strength to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 SleekAvocado speaks the truth. It is pain like no other pain. Ongoing and draining... But it does ease up over time, and the greatest warriors are seared with scars* Day 1 here. Moved out of our home about 11 hours ago. Going through it... Stay Strong Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duzie16 Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 Thanks for the support guys. Problem is the kids. I miss them like crazy. Having a family ripped out from under me is so hard to deal with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eidetic Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 OP, I am weathering the loss of relationship to a partner's child also. For months, at times it was the more difficult and distressing pain to move through. It may help to remember that just as adults do, each child has his or her own path through life. And you have been an indisputably important figure and heart guide in these past 6.5 years -- early years, too, from the sound of it. This is so important: they are not going to forget you, or the good that you were for them. If you were a safe and trusted, trustworthy, enjoyable adult for them, that stays. It's just that now is a stretch of time in which they will learn other things, and differently, and without you. And this is part of their path; it's part of their growing up. For whatever reason, the separation or loss is on some level essential, maybe a soft or deep life lesson needed at this time, in order for them to become who they will become. Keep your love of them in your heart always. When we love someone else's children, that's a blessing and a gift; it can be life changing for everyone involved, but most often, most deeply for the adult who is loving. I wept for his child as for my own. Not just heart-wrenching, but gut-wrenching. It's as bad as 50/50 in a child custody divorce case, and worse, because unmarried, you have zero rights to any time with the child. But there were no legalities present or observed in order for that love to develop and exist. And the love doesn't really understand when it is cut off from further loving. I want to tell you that eventually these children may grow up into teens or adults who will come back around for you. That does happen. But I know it can also take a long time; years, or even a decade or more. So just know that the world isn't really that small, and that children remember the ones who showed them love, humor, understanding, acceptance, and safety -- and that we often to some extent do seek what we know. Part of the reason I am NC and not even considering dating at this time (and for a long time yet) is that I am still working my way through the double loss of partner and his child. Sometimes it's as bad as if they both had just suddenly died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekAvocado Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Wish you all the best in starting your journey. I'm on day 7 now. We are in this together, alright? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duzie16 Posted July 27, 2017 Author Share Posted July 27, 2017 Thanks guys for all the kind thoughts. She recently posted ' married' on facebook then removed it. Im just crushed right now. I dont have fb btw. Someone mnetioned it. I have deleted evrrything of hers regarding social meida. But wow...10 days later and married. I must of meant nothing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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