Moonhobbit9 Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 Hi all this is my first post and I would really appreciate some advice and insight as I am hurting pretty bad and I am trying to cling to the hope of getting my ex back. My ex fiancé and I were together for almost 3 years and we have been in a LDR from day one. We got engaged while he was on leave from doing his 1 year national army service (Jan 2016) and even though we rarely saw eachother and had our ups and downs we weee pretty happy. After his army finished we decided that this summer I would go and stay with him for 4.5 months while he worked in the tourist area we met in but had not been to since meeting (in 2014). The longest time we had spent together prior to this was 10 weeks in 2015 before his army service started. Horrifically the 4.5 months turned into just 4 weeks and now I am home and we have broken up. The main issue was that we are both incredibly jealous however I can not control my jealousy nor my insecurities and angry that come alongside it. I found myself getting very angry with him for just talking to female customers which I realise now was ridiculous as he works in a bar (he even changed bars to try make me feel more at ease) but at the time I just feared that he would find every girl more attractive or more interesting despite him always reassuring me. After about 4/5 of these insidents he said I should go home as it was damaging the relationship but I refused as I didn't want us to be parted again. My fiancé therefore said he had no choice but to end the relationship as it was not making him happy and he said he didn't need me anymore, didn't want me anymore and said I wasn't enough for him anymore. I booked my flight home but had 5 days to wait between the initial break up and me leaving. In this time I felt that my ex was very hot and cold and It really has confused me. He was still staying with me in our room and we were sleeping together however when I asked if we could spend time together during the day even as friends he said no. He told me that I needed to see a therapist to help me with controlling my emotions and that when I had changed we could be together but then the next day he would be saying our relationship was a mistake and was messaging other girls. When I left he said he needed time to think and that he didn't know what would happen, he said he hoped he would miss me but he really didn't know and that I should get help for me not for him as he didn't know if he could wait for me. During those 5 days he kept changing what he was saying would happen with us and I was practically begging him to take me back and told him no matter what happened in the next few months I still wanted to be with him some day. 1 day after the break up he message a girl we argued about the day I got there as I found out he asked her to go to a club the day before I arrived and failed to mention to her that he was engaged. I freaked out when I saw they were talking again but he said that showed him I can't change as she is just a friend and I was still making problems. He told me not to ask any more questions, not to make anymore problems or cry otherwise he wouldn't see or talk to me for the rest of the time I was there. He came to say goodbye to me when I left but It felt so different, I was saying goodbye to someone I loved and he patted my back like a friend. I know him and I truly trusted him and he reassured me so many times that He wouldn't be still with me if he wanted anyone else and I know I acted stupidly when his job involves interacting with people. It's killing me jut I'm now on day 1 of no contact. My first therapy session is In 6 days time. But do you all think that 1) no contact will work and he will miss me even though he's in a party resort filled with girls 2) does it sound like he wants to be with me or was he just messing with my head 3) what do I do now and what do I do if I never see him again, is there anything else I can do to get him back 4) even though I made so many mistakes has he sort of proved me right by talking to this particular girl even though she had already caused problems with us I love him so much and I know I pushed him away, I lost him trying not to lose him ultimately. I'm a mess, but I really want him back, please help 😢 Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.