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Just want some advice and help


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I am 19 and my boyfriend is 25, we have been dating for over a year now and I went away to college while he stayed home so a lot of it was long distance, when I am home we are together a lot. My parents are not so fond of him because of the age difference.About once every two weeks or so I sleep over his house, weather we fell asleep watching movie or had a little too much to drank and I usually wake up to about a million texts and calls from my parents threatening to call the cops and telling me not to return home if I stayed there. This weekend my parents went away so I saw an opportunity to be with my baby. My sister (20years old) was the only one home. My parents told me I needed to stay home to watch her cause she has bad anxiety, but I think she's an adult and should be able to be on her own & that was just a way of my parents letting me know I should stay home. I thought my sister would do me a solid and not tell on me since I told her I would be sleeping at his house, but she didn't and told my parents I was gone both nights. When I came back home and my parents where home my mom acted confused and said "why did you come back here? You don't live here anymore" I just went to my room and stayed there until the next day I was leaving to go with my boyfriend to his doctors appointment my mom told me to not come back home. So I stayed the night again at his house. My dad was angry with me that I slept over again but my mom keeps telling me to not come home. My family is a mess over this and I want to compromise and be able to stay home with my family, cause I do love them, but sleep over his house once a month. But my parents say if I want to ever sleep there I should just live there. This is all out of anger but I don't know weather to go home or stay here again. I don't want to see my family cause all they do is yell at me the past few months, they all hate me now I but I love them still.

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I don't have much more to add, because those are the only two options I see. When you're legally an adult and you're living with your parents, you either have to obey their rules or leave. If you're not even paying rent, you have virtually no room for negotiation. If you want to patch up the relationship with your parents, you're going to have to stop seeing your boyfriend and apologise for disrespecting them. Your relationship with your family is way more important than the one with your boyfriend - at 19, you guys might not even last very long. And where will you be when that relationship ends and you're on bad terms with your family?


Of course, I don't think you should have to live like this forever as it's a bit controlling of them, but for now your best option is to make good with the parents and plan your exit strategy in the long-term.

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