cant get over my ex

[Collette53]

I was with my ex for over 10 years. It was by no means a perfect relationship and he contacted me less and less and have not heard from him for over 3 months. All his clothes are still in my house but he wont even respond to my texts and give me closure. Im really depressed. Have been drinking too much, have taken time off work, cry all the time and have feelings of worthlessness. Does it ever get any better?

[Keyman]

For a start, closure is what you give yourself. He cannot give you closure. Closure is the moment you decide to move forward with no further contact from him. By making the statement that 'this is over and I am going to get on with my life. I don't need him to answer any of my questions, I am leaving it in the past.'

 

So, pack up ALL of his things into boxes, bags or whatever and get it out from in front of you. Stick in in the garage or put it out for the garbage collection. If he hasn't come for it in months, he doesn't want it and You don't want to see anything that reminds you of him or the relationship, that is not going to help the healing. You also want to stop the drinking. That might take away the pain right now, but it is adding to the depression and if anything, making things worse.

 

I'm not going to lie, it's not going to be easy, but you just need to try your best to move forward and heal from the relationship. You need to focus on yourself. Just because your relationship is over doesn't mean you are worthless. You need to find a worth in yourself outside of a relationship and focus on that.

[Knight2001]

by your own words your relationship was not perfect. by this i would assume at times you were very happy and at times you were the opposite.

as keyman said - it is up to you to close the door on this relationship. don't contact him again and keep moving forward.

once you are throught this break up you can rebuild your life the way you want it to be. you will not have to tolerate a realtionship which is not ideal. this is your chance to be happy. count your blessings that you have this chance, you will never argue with your ex again.

as for his stuff i agree 100% with keyman. bag/box it up and forget about it or put it out with the garbage.

grab this opportunity with both hands and dont look back.

good luck to you and i hope you find happiness - which you will if you follow the advice you receive on here. and we're all here to support each other, and that includes you, so dont hesitate to come back.

be happy.

[Elavohra]

See, break up is a break up, doesn't matter whether it was a perfect or the imperfect one. I know you're going through worse right now, but trust me honey, this is the very moment where you've to focus and give full attention to yourself. This is the only time where you've to be confident about yourself. Nobody is worthless piece. You've to forget him, and don't you dare to reconcile the things. By reconciliation you shall be wasting your time and energy. You need to get up, dust off and start working upon yourself. He now deserves to be in the past.