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My best friend says he doesn't want to do anything sexual with me, but he has.

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So I've been friends with this guy for over a year (we are both 17) and we are super close and inseparable. We are both bi sexual males and when we first started getting close we used to cuddle in my room a lot and he used to enjoy it, we have sexted before and planned to do sexual stuff but it never happened. Recently in the last 3 months he has changed, he doesn't really like it when i cuddle with him and he told me he'd never do anything sexual with me. He knows i would be down to do sexual stuff with him whenever. One night i was sleeping in the same bed with him and cuddled up with him and he grabbed my hand and put it on his d*** and things happened from there. Then the next day he texted me and said he doesn't wanna do anything like that again. Fast forward a month, i was laying in bed alone with my eyes closed and he comes into the room and starts touching my d*** and he j****** me off through my pants, i didn't say anything and let him do it and pretended to be asleep. The next morning i was laying in bed with my eyes closed with him next to me and he asks if im awake and i don't respond, my alarm clock goes off and he turns it off and moves away from me, i then grabbed his hand and tried to move it towards my d*** but he pulls away not wanting to touch my d*** while im awake. So I don't understand the situation, he tells me he doesn't wanna ever do anything sexual with me and i believed him. I've cuddled upto him in the middle of the night twice recently and he pushed me away and seemed annoyed.


I respected that he didn't wanna do stuff that but his actions say otherwise/confuse me. Idk whether to tell him i was awake when he did stuff to me, i don't want him to feel guilty about what he did because i enjoyed it. Please Give some thoughts on why he tells me he doesn't wanna do stuff with me

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It sounds as though he's not comfortable with being with another guy. I think your best bet is to not say anything and not force anything. Maybe in time he will learn how to be more comfortable with his sexuality and with you.

Just make sure that you're not feeling like you're being taken advantage of.

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One of the simple rules you can follow in life is: "If you don't understand.. ask". Why you don't try to have a meaningful discussion with him about this. Before you set down with him, try to have an open mind and agree on any explanation or decision he might reach with you. Ask him honestly and openly, without judgement, the change of his behavior form liking or wanting to be intimate with you physically to not feeling that way. Is he feeling peer pressure from some straight friends that might not accept what he is doing with you? Is he feeling ashamed about sexual acts for religious reasons? Is he feeling that you should be in a relationship with him to do such a thing or maybe even dating? Maybe he started dating someone and what he is doing with you is confusing him?


In the end, you would know better by asking him directly, rather than just guessing.

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