How to move on

[BJN31]

Hello everyone,

 

My ex(26) left me after 5 years at the start of February and immediately started a relationship with a 21 year old guy. I'm sure this was going on at the end of the relationship. I did think perhaps think it was a rebound but that's clearly not the case nor is it my business.

 

It's been 6 months but I'm still very much missing her despite what she did. I've maintained zero contact and have only seen her twice since where she has completely ignored me! I often think about what's she's upto etc. Anyone got any tips on how to deal better with it? I work out, new job, new apartment, met loads of new people but just miss her to be blunt....

 

I still don't know how I feel about the whole thing and whether one day, maybe we'll reconcile or whether if that's what I want.

[jmann45]

Hello everyone,

 

My ex(26) left me after 5 years at the start of February and immediately started a relationship with a 21 year old guy. I'm sure this was going on at the end of the relationship. I did think perhaps think it was a rebound but that's clearly not the case nor is it my business.

 

It's been 6 months but I'm still very much missing her despite what she did. I've maintained zero contact and have only seen her twice since where she has completely ignored me! I often think about what's she's upto etc. Anyone got any tips on how to deal better with it? I work out, new job, new apartment, met loads of new people but just miss her to be blunt....

 

I still don't know how I feel about the whole thing and whether one day, maybe we'll reconcile or whether if that's what I want.

 

Its only been 6 months. I think you just need to be patient and wait longer. Keep doing what you're doing for a few more months and meet new women. I think it would take about a year and a few months for me to get over someone who left me for someone else after 5 years. Thats a long time, im sure you're hurt. Just keep your hobbies up.

[lettingo2017]

Hello everyone,

 

My ex(26) left me after 5 years at the start of February and immediately started a relationship with a 21 year old guy. I'm sure this was going on at the end of the relationship. I did think perhaps think it was a rebound but that's clearly not the case nor is it my business.

 

It's been 6 months but I'm still very much missing her despite what she did. I've maintained zero contact and have only seen her twice since where she has completely ignored me! I often think about what's she's upto etc. Anyone got any tips on how to deal better with it? I work out, new job, new apartment, met loads of new people but just miss her to be blunt....

 

I still don't know how I feel about the whole thing and whether one day, maybe we'll reconcile or whether if that's what I want.

 

Hi,

 

I think it's best to continue to accept the truth that you miss her and forgive your self for it. Forgive yourself for choosing to trust a person who is clearly not well. Continue to do what you're doing. Eventually that woman may grow up and ask for forgiveness. If not, put the power back to the

only one who can pay back people for what they do to others. There is nothing more you can really do.

[cococly]

OP, I too, am going through a similar breakup from a 3.5 year relationship. Although I am still thinking about my most recent ex, I can tell you how I coped with my previous breakup from an earlier serious relationship of 2.5 years:

 

My Ex was 18 at the time, she cheated on me with 2 different men. (we were all in our early 20s). I was mad, but she came back asking for sex , I didn't mind, and I actually got her back because we were really compatible on that front.

 

Anyways, knowing that she finally left me because she was graduating high school (yes, we were young), she lost interests in me, and came for one last hurrah and she was gone.

 

How did I cope? I went alone, I stayed home (I live alone) all day, only to go to work and get groceries.

 

I didn't go to workout, because 1) it didn't help my mood at all (Same for you, I guess?) 2) I am not an active person, apart from swimming.

I didn't talk to anyone. I just stayed home and play video games.

I drove around at night mindlessly, listening to music.

 

My turning point, I started going clubbing, yes, I was quite late into the clubbing scene, but I enjoyed it so much that, I became a promoter for a club and knew a lot of shallow-partying friends. (I think knowing these people makes me forget a lot, because you don't need to pay attention to them much, just have fun with them and forget what happened before)

 

I screwed around for around 6 months, until one day, my EX phoned me up, asking "are you going clubbing because of me?" , I said "NO!" , but in fact, of course it was because of her. I felt GREAT about going clubbing, it was still the best period of my life thus far.

 

Mind you, I didn't do drugs nor even smoked, just constantly got drunk, hook up with all sorts of girls, etc.

 

Before I knew it, I forgot who my ex was already. I was flooded with the notions that I get to know new girls every time I go clubbing, etc.

 

I believe in Karma, and I still do.

 

P.S. You should travel aboard, to a place FAR away, and put away your phone! Travel using your primary senses , not with your (still-broken) mind!

 

Be Strong!

[BJN31]

Thanks for all these comments,

 

I've had an incredibly tough day today with it all. I really miss her and do want to reach out but I'm not going to hear what I want or anything like that. After all, she completely ignores me now if I bump into her in town like our 5 year relationship meant nothing. Do I deserve that?

 

This 21 year old kid and her is just so odd, it doesn't make sense but it's not my sense to make. I've been doing relatively ok up until now but no idea why I'm having a tough few weeks.

[BJN31]

Any further thoughts?

[BJN31]

Hi Cococly,

 

Thanks for your comment. I'm definitely looking at travelling. Hopefully have something planned by October.

 

I believe in karma but it's just not reached her yet! As I said, the few times she has seen a, she completely ignores me like I'm in the wrong! A tad unfair perhaps?

[No1]

BJN.. It is very simple.

 

You have to accept that it is over. You can run to any corner of the Earth, unless you first accept it is over then nothing you do will matter. Must put the past behind you before you can move forward.

 

It is over, she is with someone.

[BJN31]

No1,

 

Thanks for your comment. I'm fully aware it's over. It's been 6 months, As the post title states.

 

I am however not accepting that a relationship with a 21 year old kid is a definite. Please bear with me, these are my inner thoughts just coming out. As I've said, I'm just having a hard time lately with it ...

[Jennifer weave]

No1,

 

Thanks for your comment. I'm fully aware it's over. It's been 6 months, As the post title states.

 

I am however not accepting that a relationship with a 21 year old kid is a definite. Please bear with me, these are my inner thoughts just coming out. As I've said, I'm just having a hard time lately with it ...

 

People should be a little more kind around here. While it's true we all need candor and good, sound advice, there's a tactful way to convey that truth. There should be a forum titled, "bitter."

[Tomthumb88]

I'm on the same time frame as you., just keep moving forward and keep doing things for you. Don't worry that it's taking too long, it just reflects the strength of your feeling..