Gjenferdsel Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 I'd been with my girlfriend for 9 years. We lived together for most of the first 6 of those years, then I messed up the trust by spending money that wasn't for spending, and I moved out (but we did stay together). For the past year we decided we would just be friends, but it was never like that was actually the case and we'd both talk about it jokingly, it felt like things could go back eventually. Last Christmas I stayed with her for a 3 day period and honestly it felt like things used to be, it was a wonderful 3 days complete with the expected couple behaviour that I won't go into. Around two weeks ago, she hit me with the fact that we'll only ever be friends, that she doesn't see us getting back together. A week after that, she told me she had met someone else and it wasn't anything yet but she wanted to give it a try. This crushed me, and still does. She also let slip that she didn't want to lie to me about rearranging my visit (that would have been today) because she's busy seeing him. Now it's the day, she won't answer any of my texts, and i'm starting to feel suicidal. I of course haven't said so to her, i'm not vindictive. I just feel like I can't copy anymore with it, knowing it was my own doing in the first place is worse still. I have no friends, and no job at the moment. Everything is just crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roro25 Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 I'd been with my girlfriend for 9 years. We lived together for most of the first 6 of those years, then I messed up the trust by spending money that wasn't for spending, and I moved out (but we did stay together). For the past year we decided we would just be friends, but it was never like that was actually the case and we'd both talk about it jokingly, it felt like things could go back eventually. Last Christmas I stayed with her for a 3 day period and honestly it felt like things used to be, it was a wonderful 3 days complete with the expected couple behaviour that I won't go into. Around two weeks ago, she hit me with the fact that we'll only ever be friends, that she doesn't see us getting back together. A week after that, she told me she had met someone else and it wasn't anything yet but she wanted to give it a try. This crushed me, and still does. She also let slip that she didn't want to lie to me about rearranging my visit (that would have been today) because she's busy seeing him. Now it's the day, she won't answer any of my texts, and i'm starting to feel suicidal. I of course haven't said so to her, i'm not vindictive. I just feel like I can't copy anymore with it, knowing it was my own doing in the first place is worse still. I have no friends, and no job at the moment. Everything is just crap. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you're feeling suicidal. I think you should try to look at the over all picture more than the details. Be with someone who wants to be with you! If she really loved you, she would have taken you back after that mistake. But the silver lining is at least you didn't waste anymore of your precious time with her! Even though you imagined a whole future together with her, there is life after her and there are many many many great women on this earth, just give it a try. Be with someone who wants to be with you! Stop thinking about how she's with someone else now and completely block her out of your life so you can heal. Cry and yell if you need to and go out and find some friends, meet new people. Life is precious! The fact that you even felt love from another being is a blessing as some of us will never be with someone for 9 years and some of us will never experience that love. I promise it gets better but just breathe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 Please, do reach out to a suicide hotline or emergency services. I am sorry you are hurting so much, but this is not the way to handle it. As for your ex, well, she did tell you she is seeing someone and would be busy with him today. It's thus not surprising she isn't responding to you. She isn't going to be the one to take all of your pain away, anyway. Then get busy planning your own life. Why aren't you working? Why are you without friends? These are the places to begin in your healing journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datingnovice Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 I'm sorry to hear all this. It sucks. Find an appointment with a counselor. Believe me, it's worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominique Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 Keep posting. It will help. Call the hotline if you need to. Your life is not the price you have to pay for a mistake and a relationship. Forgive yourself and get help moving on. We are here for you. Don't give up because you're hurting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinsky Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 This too, will pass. Things will make sense in time. Stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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