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Heard something pretty rude while dining out tonight


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So I'm sitting at Paneras when a man and woman sit next to me. The man announces to the woman that as of today, he's lost 35 pounds in 10 weeks from exercise alone, but now he's going to start eliminating calories and the weight should really come off then. He then took a bite of his Salad. What did the lady say in response? I'm paraphrasing but this is close....She told him that at age 48, the damage to his heart has already been done, that the plaque on his arteries isn't going anywhere and it's been building up for the past 25 years of his life as an obese person. And how making changes now is better than never, but his chances of having a heart attack are still very high even if he gets down to 90 pounds because of the damage that has been done.

 

He was speechless, literally. He put his head down and they were both quiet for the remainder of dinner.

 

😟😟😟

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As someone who is obese and has been for many years and now I'm losing weight. I feel that guys pain, literally, to be excited about a change and then someone rain on your parade with lack of empathy or support. It angers me!

 

It's as if she's telling him there's no hope. I hope he continues to be healthy and not give up and to ignore her.

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That's so sad. No matter who this woman is in his life, co-worker, wife, "friend" I hope he cuts her from his life forever. What a horrible way to react to someone who has just accomplished something wonderful and life-affirming!

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I'm thinking it was his gf but I don't know. I'm only assuming since he didn't have a wedding band on.

 

I'll never forget when my goal was to lose 30 pounds. I had lost 25 pounds and nearly 2 pant sizes, I was almost to my goal. I was only 15 years old and put on lots of weight from 8th grade-sophomore year. Anyway, nearly at my goal, I bent over to pick something up when I heard my cousin laughing. Apparently my stepmom went to shoot a rubberband at my butt and missed. Hence the cousin laughing. But when I found out what happened, I also began to laugh until my SM said "how could I miss something so big" - In reference to my butt. I was so hurt and embarrassed. I'm sure the guy at Paneras is very hurt. Her comments were rude and unnecessary and pretty ignorant. Anyone can die of a heart attack at any given time, not only the obese.

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Ya know I feel sorry for that woman. It sounds like she is so miserable with her own life, that she can't handle someone else's happiness and success.

 

It's like she has black hole in the middle of her heart, that no amount of criticism or hate will ever completely fill it.

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So I'm sitting at Paneras when a man and woman sit next to me. The man announces to the woman that as of today, he's lost 35 pounds in 10 weeks from exercise alone, but now he's going to start eliminating calories and the weight should really come off then. He then took a bite of his Salad. What did the lady say in response? I'm paraphrasing but this is close....She told him that at age 48, the damage to his heart has already been done, that the plaque on his arteries isn't going anywhere and it's been building up for the past 25 years of his life as an obese person. And how making changes now is better than never, but his chances of having a heart attack are still very high even if he gets down to 90 pounds because of the damage that has been done.

 

He was speechless, literally. He put his head down and they were both quiet for the remainder of dinner.

 

😟😟😟

 

I think it does sound rude --- but this could also be something she has seen before with --- he is exercising like crazy but still eating double big macs and has more dressing than salad on his plate--- and she is trying to tell him that that's all fine and good -- but with the lack of changes to his diet --- he doesn't get a gold star yet. She could be at the end of her rope with him on things in the way he has been treating his health and maybe he picks at her about her weight or whatever all the time.. I had an uncle who would get on the latest exercise trend but drink Slurpees, two bags of potato chips, etc, and think he was good and my aunt would suffer everytime the medication bill went up or he took a heart attack scare again. So i am not going to automatically give her the beyotch award yet.

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As someone who's battled her weight all her life, I say that woman needed a smack upside the head for such comments. No doubt the guy was shattered. Whether or not he's been yoyo dieting for ages, that doesnt matter. He's achieved some good success and deserves some praise not some mean spirited nasty rude comments. If I was him I'd never speak to her again.

 

You can make a point to a person without being tactless and cruel.

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I think it does sound rude --- but this could also be something she has seen before with --- he is exercising like crazy but still eating double big macs and has more dressing than salad on his plate--- and she is trying to tell him that that's all fine and good -- but with the lack of changes to his diet --- he doesn't get a gold star yet. She could be at the end of her rope with him on things in the way he has been treating his health and maybe he picks at her about her weight or whatever all the time.. I had an uncle who would get on the latest exercise trend but drink Slurpees, two bags of potato chips, etc, and think he was good and my aunt would suffer everytime the medication bill went up or he took a heart attack scare again. So i am not going to automatically give her the beyotch award yet.

 

This was exactly my thought. Since we don't know this guy's medical history and we don't know their relationship (maybe she's his sister and she's a nurse or doctor?), it could be that she is expressing genuine concern for him and urging him to be careful with things and not get too ahead of himself. He could have been struggling with his weight, losing small amounts (relative to his overall body size) and then putting it back on or gaining more than he lost - that in itself is more damaging to the heart than just being a bit overweight.

 

Support is great, but people also need a reality check when it comes to serious matters involving (possibly) life or death. Fear of the adverse effects of regaining weight and possibly other things (maybe he's also dealt with smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction which compounded the issues?) are a better motivator for people in the long term. If this has been something he's dealt with for 25 years, I could understand wanting to ensure he takes his health a little more seriously - I'd say the same thing to someone that I love if I thought they were treating the issue too lightly or had a long history of making half-hearted attempts while their health got progressively worse. And personally, I'd want to know if my health issues got to the point where the people I love are fearing for my longevity

 

For context, heart disease and cancer are pretty big issues in my family, so we've had conversations like this too

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That's so sad. No matter who this woman is in his life, co-worker, wife, "friend" I hope he cuts her from his life forever. What a horrible way to react to someone who has just accomplished something wonderful and life-affirming!

Yes! Why would you want to hang with someone like that.

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This is what HE said:

 

"The man announces to the woman that as of today, he's lost 35 pounds in 10 weeks from exercise alone, but now he's going to start eliminating calories and the weight should really come off then."

 

He sounds like he is doing well, and a little validation and encouragement can go a long way.

As for her, well what I want to say cannot be printed here......

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Even if she's been down this road again and again if she cares at all she should restrain herself at that moment. Sure if there is a way to address a yoyo diet situation in a considerate way at another time - and hopefully not while he's eating a salad - thencsure msybe. She doesn't get to vent like that no matter what. Or she could react neutrally to send him the message that she's not going to get all excited because she's heard this before.

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