At crossroads with crippling anxiety

[Mimiconfuzzled]

I have so much that I'm going through:

1- Laid off in April,

2- Relationship goals

3- Uprooting of life decision

 

That sums it up. I just turned 38 and feel so out of sorts and overwhelmed with anxiety and depression that I don't take a proactive stance.

I'm almost broke, and my parents are talking about moving to another state in the South and asked if I wanted to go with them. This added to my anxiety and I began to cry but softened because I didn't want my Dad to see me upset.

 

I've been with same man (41) for 4 years and he's been married before. We never talk about the future. I don't know if this is a good time to discuss the possibility of my moving away or not.

 

My dog is 14 and on her way out which breaks my heart.

 

The job search is not going well and I know it is partly this deep funk that I'm in.

 

I'm almost broke. Thank goodness for unemployment.

 

How do I shake these feelings? Anti depressants don't work and I am trying to not take my anxiety medication at night to sleep. I just started on some essential oil therapy on my own so I'm hoping it can help a little.

 

All my friends are getting married, are married, and having kids. I want these things, too. My boyfriend could be less interested in talking about it and whenever we do, he says one thing and then says another thing that is contradictory (ie, says he'll put his house on the market then says it's his property and not selling).

 

Besides my relationship and my condo, I don't have much holding me back in CT from moving and wondering if it would be a good change, although the thought of living with my parents again, though I love them dearly, freaks me out. I doubt I could handle it.

 

Sorry for the ranting. I'm just very anxious and I feel like I can't talk to any of my friends or family about all this anxiety and panic feelings.

 

I set up an appointment with my therapist to discuss these things but not until August. ):

 

I don't know what to do. ):

[LaHermes]

Why August Mimi?

 

"I set up an appointment with my therapist to discuss these things but not until August. ): "

 

That aside, I honestly think that the time is ripe for you to make afresh start. 38 is young!

 

It is natural to be anxious with the various events affecting your life just now. Loss of job, difficulty in locating a new job, all these various stressants.

 

The first to be got rid of is the disinterested BF. He isn't going to walk the road with you. I wouldn't even discuss anything with him since he has not much interest anyhow in being helpful.

 

I don't think you need to actually live long-term with your parents but maybe just as a brief stepping-stone.

 

And your condo? Can you let that?

[LaHermes]

Only last month you got this very good advice:

 

"Does it occur to you that his marriage ended so badly because he is the ahole and the problem???? Given his behavior, he is not the victim, he is the perpetrator and he is doing to you what he has done before to his other relationships. You've lost 4 years of your life already, please please don't waste any more. Time is the one thing in life we never get back."

[Mimiconfuzzled]

True, I did. I'm stuck. My emotions have the best of me at the moment. I told myself I would give the relationship through the summer and then make my move.

[Mimiconfuzzled]

Why August Mimi?

 

"I set up an appointment with my therapist to discuss these things but not until August. ): "

 

That aside, I honestly think that the time is ripe for you to make afresh start. 38 is young!

 

It is natural to be anxious with the various events affecting your life just now. Loss of job, difficulty in locating a new job, all these various stressants.

 

The first to be got rid of is the disinterested BF. He isn't going to walk the road with you. I wouldn't even discuss anything with him since he has not much interest anyhow in being helpful.

 

I don't think you need to actually live long-term with your parents but maybe just as a brief stepping-stone.

 

And your condo? Can you let that?

 

I could let it, but it is a private community and I don't think they would allow the sublet for a month to month basis. Will need to find out.

[LaHermes]

Never mind the condo.

 

Why August for the therapist appointment?

 

I take it you ARE going to leave this individual?

 

What kind of miracle did you think these Summer months might produce? There are no miracles.

[Mimiconfuzzled]

No miracles, but time to give us the opportunity to discuss any future plans/feelings we have about the relationship.

[Mimiconfuzzled]

I have to wait until August because that's my DR's first opening for an appointment.