Moving in together- how to share expenses?

[greygrey]

Me and my boyfriend are planning on moving in together. I got into grad school and will be starting starting studies in september. It's in other city and I'm not interested in commuting over 2h every day so I'm moving there. My boyfriend works in neighbouring town (of the university) and he is quite tired of commuting. Moving would mean I would be close to school and he would be close to work. We have decided to rent a flat together. We will have the big finance talk but before we have that I want to come up with suggestions for him how we could do it.

 

I'm currently working full time but I once I start school I have to resign. So I have a bit of savings. After tuition it's not a lot, but some. I will be receiving $450/month as a government grant. Rest will be covered by loans, credit cards and savings. I'll try to get a part-time job but the course is quite intense so not sure how much I can do.

 

My boyfriend makes around $3800/month and $500 from renting his house.

 

Studio or One bedroom flat in the city costs around $700-1000/month and utilities.

 

I'm happy to pay my own share but unfortunately it might not be possible. On campus housing would be cheaper but he can't move there. Also we don't want to go together to a house share. If i would move alone then that would be an option. I currently live in a one bedroom apartment on my own so not too excited about sharing with a bunch of other people.

 

So I was thinking about suggesting paying the rent 50/50 and he would pay the utilities. $400 is pretty much my limit so if the flat is more expensive then he would cover the rest. When we do our weekly food shopping he would pay that but I would cover all the additional shopping that comes through the week. We would both cover our personal expenses like phone bills and travel cards.

 

Before we have never really had problems with money. Someone just pays for it and it's about even. He has maybe paid a bit more since I was in uni when we met. But then again we spend more time in my apartment and I pay for everything there.

 

I really want to move in with him but I'm ok with not doing it if it means money is going to be a problem. Part of me feels like a golddigger for even thinking of suggesting he would pay more. 50/50 would be clean but then I would seriously struggle and he would be getting massive savings.

 

We have talked a bit and he seems to be happy contributing more. He just wants to live together and make sure I graduate and find a job that interests me. living without money is going to be an adjustment for me and I'm worried I will use money on something 'stupid' and he will feel like I could have used it towards contributing towards the house. I've been thinking about this fair bit so I'm not sure if it's just in my head or if people actually think like this.

 

Any ideas on what to suggest on how to share expenses? Is 50/50 the only fair way to go? We will have a talk but looking for suggestions what I haven't thought about? Or if my idea is unfair and I'm taking advantage of him?

[Wolfshook]

I guess it would be ok for him to pay a bit more since he is the one working (and you are in relationship).

 

If it were me, I'd gladly pay a bit more (if I had enough money of course) for my SO to finish her school, but then again I wouldnt like to see her buy "crap" when I'm doing my best to help her.

[greygrey]

Thanks wolf!

 

I want to add that I'm not reckless with money but sometimes I like to go to theatre that is not necessary or buy a pair of shoes when I don't absolutely need them. Nothing too expensive and ridiculous. I would never buy $300 purse in this type of situation. I guess by 'stupid' I mean unnecessary but useful.

[LaHermes]

Just don't get into any credit card debt. It's the most extortionate "loan" around.

[Iggy5129]

How much does he pay now? I pay half the amount my boyfriend does because he makes over twice as much as I do and it's still a savings on what he used to pay. We trade off buying groceries every week. One week he buys, next week I buy because we get paid opposite weeks. He pays the utilities and I pay for all my own other stuff like gas, clothing, travel etc.

 

And just a bit of side advice, DO NOT take out student loans. Trust me. You will regret it. Get you degree debt free, get a good job and pay him back in the future.

[greygrey]

How much does he pay now? I pay half the amount my boyfriend does because he makes over twice as much as I do and it's still a savings on what he used to pay. We trade off buying groceries every week. One week he buys, next week I buy because we get paid opposite weeks. He pays the utilities and I pay for all my own other stuff like gas, clothing, travel etc.

 

And just a bit of side advice, DO NOT take out student loans. Trust me. You will regret it. Get you degree debt free, get a good job and pay him back in the future.

 

He owns his house so he only pays utilities and property tax. In general I'm supportive of the % of. Income model. Since my income is minimal and we are now moving in together it seems unfair that he would have to provide so much more.

 

I will be taking government loan to support myself. It has a low interest rate and can be controlled how much to take each month. $450/mo doesnt get me too far. Debt free masters degree would be amazing but not with the specs of tuition fees. Also I don't want to be completely out of pocket after graduation in case I don't find a job immediately. I want to be able to afford housing and food. This loan doesnt worry me at all. I managed to get my undergraduate debt free but majority of my friends did get loans it has been fine.

 

Pay him back? I want to avoid feeling like I owe him and then having to pay more the following years so we are even. Flat out borrowing money from him is not an option. I will add to my discussion topic when we talk. Thanks for the message.

[melancholy123]

50/50 would be ideal but not in your case as you will have limited income and he is well paid. Maybe a 65/35 or 70/30 split would work. You both need a serious and honest talk about money before moving in together.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.