sophienight Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Hi, first post here after lurking for a while. I'm in a very confused state right now, like probably many are here, but I also have a huge dilemma. Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up a month ago, well he broke up with me because of a combination of things. He lives in the US, I live in the UK. We have only been able to meet a few times due to him being a doctor, having 2 kids, and prior responsibilities. I have not been able to go over there as much as I have liked because I've been finishing up my teaching degree, working 2 jobs, and aren't able to have any time off. He has insisted over and over that being in person is needed so badly, and he needs to be able to have affection in real life frequently and to have someone to come home to. I also wanted this so badly but I don't think he understood that I can't drop everything and move there when I'm in education. We have gotten into many petty arguments and trust issues started to develop due to the distance, he has cheated once before in the past and I was still coming to terms with it. I became too clingy, expected too much of his time when he couldn't give it, and asked too much of him. He also asked too much of me. For the past few months it has been so tedious, we started being that couple that breaks up and gets back together, then argues and breaks up again. We had a moment where we broke up for 2 days and he went on 3 dates in those two days, and I got so jealous how he moved on so fast. It might be a hint of his true feelings. But then he comes back and says all he could think about was me, and I'm his soulmate and the love of his life. He has recently gotten out of a 10 year loveless marriage, so I'm assuming he hasn't had chance to properly mourn the loss. But it still made me feel like . After a huge argument a month ago through skype, which ended with me in tears, he said he's done for good and he can't commit to me anymore. He say's I'm not the right person for him and he needs to socialise, and that I haven't been there at all for him. He said he's an idiot and he picked someone just like his ex wife. From then on we skype slept without saying another word, and in the morning I wrote a goodbye, told him I loved him, and that I'll keep my promise and respect his decision this time. I then blocked him and deleted him on all things apart from email. I have not reached out to him in the past month, and he hadn't reached out to me.. Apart from today, he came to me and plainly said his mother had passed away and that he feels numb and empty. I feel so conflicted. I haven't yet replied but what should I do? I want to be there for him so bad, but on the other selfish side, I don't want him to just come back to me for emotional support and then break my heart again when he's ok. Should I break my NC and tell him I'm sorry, and leave it at that? I feel so awful for him, his mother was his last remaining relative. Why would he choose to tell me this Link to comment
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