purelife Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 I'm not the best writer but will try to do my best. I'm in my mid 30's with a wife and 3 children. I have been working for my dad on and off for many years and currently have been for the past 2.5 years. There are many different feelings when working for a father, mother or basically in a family business. Some good and some not so good. The career path was started by my grandpa and when he was done with his business a new one was formed for my father and the same work continued. At this time I still feel the same way I felt when I first started working full time in my early twenties. I was somewhat lost on whether I should go to school or go to work for him. I did go to college for a year and cared about my schooling as I did make the Deans honor roll. After that first year for some reason I decided to not go back. I did talk to my dad then and he tried to advise me, I believe to the best he could. He did tell me a couple of times I wasn't cut out for school. I don't know if the wording came out wrong or he meant something else but I took as though, maybe I'm not. I was a shy kid and had a hard time socializing but did make friends. To this day I feel like it was a mistake for many reasons to stop going to school. I had excelled at what I was doing, I believe I would of been very talented at my field choice. At the time it was Mechanical drafting and I had planned to go into Architecture. I have always been interested in it and still am today. I loved drawing, designing, also loved mechanics. Math is something I pick up on easiest. About my up bringing, my dad cared for me. He would always try his best to teach me about anything he knew. About 90% of his knowledge is between working and money. He devoted 6.5 days a week to work. He spent at minimum 5 days away working and 1.5 days close to home but still working. The other .5 is for church. So its safe to say I know alot about going to work. I also learned early on about saving money. Maybe some will already know where this is going, but my dad has no problem telling me where my problems come from. And the sad thing is at my age I'm still looking for his approval. I hate it. I don't want to disappoint him. It makes it even harder when I work for him. I'm not sure if I'm working for him because I want to follow his foot steps or because he wants or has always wanted me to. Money has always been big priority for him and me too. My grandpa passed away a very wealthy person and my father will as well. I hate to give up on something that does have potential to make plenty of money. But part of me sometimes wonders what if I hadn't just given up on my interests. Maybe I could of had a comfortable life style going a different route. TO the readers, I'm sorry if I'm all over the place. I look back to why I really quit school. The best I can come up with is, I didn't like not having money. Of course I think that sounds foolish now. I knew my dad was making more money by then and starting at young age for me, mine and his conversations was always about money and working. My dad didn't go to school. I suppose he didn't have much advise to give on school other than it cost money. One would think he lived through the great depression. So recently I asked him if it would be fine with him if I could start finding work for myself or basically working for myself in a similiar field, but not always for him. We didn't get much time to talk about it but I did have him tell me I'm not experienced enough. I was somewhat offended, being that I handle a lot of his jobs for him without him. I manage the workers, the equipment, I handle the hiring, enforce the policies and so on. He relies heavily on me. I can say I don't do much on the business side. Not by my fault entirely. I did ask him if I could be more involved a few years back and was told point blank, I need to be focused on the work side. As if I was wanting to stick my nose where it shouldn't be. How does one get experience if their not allowed and also feel guilty for making their own choices for their own interest. Oh back to him telling me about my problems. I did buy a house that comes with a mortgage. So the reason I bought the house was so I would be able to see my family more than twice a week. Our work is spread through-out the state and I wanted to be more centralized. I actually own a house free and clear which I lived in prior. It is a rental at the moment. I know my father would tell me to get rid of the mortgaged house and move back and then spend more time with him learning the business on my days off. I don't really mind not having a day off but I'm sure my wife and three kids do. I have a hard time excepting that it can only work that way. Problem is I have never seen it work any other. So it is hard to dispute. I know I have went from feeling like I shouldn't have quit school to wanting to work for myself. I know I'm back and forth and feel like some of my choices are influenced. I know I have a choice in what I do. My main goal is to always provide for my family. Which I do. I wish I could rewind back and see something through. I feel like I'm still in good position to go any direction I want. If I didn't want to buy the house I'm in I could sell it and get most of my equity back out. That plus my savings would give me lots of choices. I just want to feel like I'm making my choices because thats what I choose. Not because of my father or money. I don't know if I'm doing all this because of money, for my father or for myself. I don't know if I'm being selfish for wanting a better situation. Its hard to walk away when you don't want to be a quitter. My wife is a good trooper through all this but I know she gets tired of me talking about it. I wish I could shut it off and move on. Thanks for any input. Link to comment
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