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How many times would you accept rescheduling a date?


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Back in this forum after a long time! Needing all your advice as I haven't dated in such a long time...


6 months ago, I moved to a new country. So about a month ago, I was invited to join a team of organizers for a volunteer club. Through the initial meeting, I met the Founding team and one of the guys added me on Facebook after we met. He said it was nice to connect via facebook, and we talked about random stuff about me being new in town, etc. He suggested we pen down the following weekend so he could probably take me to a town nearby. He casually followed up that Friday night to check if I had time on Saturday, but no concrete plans as I replied a little bit too late and was already heading somewhere. Then next week comes, he asked if I was doing anything the following Friday. On Friday, he texted me pretty late like 7pm asking me where I was heading, but by that time I already had some plans with friends, so I replied I was heading downtown and didn't check my phone afterwards. He left me a message 'are you still downtown?'. The day after though, I saw him at the work event for the volunteer club, and the whole time he was trying to approach me and I caught him looking at me. He also offered to drop me off and asked if we were hanging out that night, and I gave him my number to call me. He called later that night, and I said I was heading back to my neighbourhood, which he then say that he also was tired and would probably head home. He took the chance to ask me some questions about my schedule...


By that point, after seeing him for another time, I got a bit interested in knowing more about him. I also thought I should be more responsive as I am now ready to date. But here the tricky stuff is happening...


First, he texted me last Wednesday asking if I wana have drinks on Thursday night. He said, he would pick me up at around 7pm at my place. I got dressed and everything but at 6:30pm he said he would be late because there was an urgent meeting at work.. I was ok with it, here in this country many unexpected things happen. But, by 7:30pm he asked if we could reschedule because the meeting was taking a long time to end. I wanted to meet up anyway but thought we could just reschedule. He called me after this meeting, very apologetic, and asked about my schedule. I said I am free all day Saturday. He said he would let me know the day after to fix a time for Saturday evening. Also, he took the chance to ask me some questions about myself, and he also added (i dont know as a joke or what) that he is bad at time management, and eating habits.


So... on Friday night, he texted to ask if I could have lunch on Saturday, I said 'ok' but he didn't reply for the whole night. He then called me at 10am on Saturday to reschedule AGAIN. I was a bit annoyed but didn't show it... this time he didn't sound apologetic, he was like 'I just want to let you know I must drive my mum somewhere because no one is home.. and can we have dinner instead?'. I said I'm not sure,,, as I had something planned in the evening but not yet confirmed. We hung up and I felt like I didn't want to go with him that day because rescheduling twice is a bit much! Does he even want to hang out? He called at 3pm, but I said I couldnt make it, and he responded - 'i will make sure of next week evening when you are around'.


Guys, what do you think? Does he want to even hang out? Is rescheduling twice too much already? It seems he is interested, and persistent too by checking in for quite a few times.. but the rescheduling is annoying. Another thing is, he might be a lot younger than I am, but I am interested in knowing him.


If he asks again, should I even go?


Please take into account that I might also work with him in the club, so I can't be too rude about it. Let me know what you all think Thanks a lot!

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I think he's shown a lot of interest in you, and unfortunately in the world we live in now, life is crazy busy. I think you should still give him a chance. All it's takes is one great date to change the way you see things.


When my husband first showed interest in me, he stood me up three times before I told him I wasn't interested. He begged for one more shot. I figured, what's the worst that could happen? Three years later, we are about to celebrate our first wedding anniversary.


Take a chance and give the man a shot. It's hard enough to meet the right one, so be a little forgiving and have a great time!

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sounds like neither of you are that interested in each other although his reasons for cancelling sound pretty legit(work and family obligations).


i would just take it as it comes and not expect much. basically dont make him a priority in your planning, if you guys end up actually meeting and going out then cool, if it gets rescheduled again cool, you werent expecting much anyway and probably already have plans with other people.


so yea, dont take things personal (as annoying as it can be)when he reachedules and just go with the flow. thats my advice anyway.

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If I'm reading things correctly, he's been trying to take you out on a date more than twice, but as he told you point blank, he is not that great about scheduling. Last minute, nothing concrete, vague and loose whatever. I mean you owe each other nothing, so I wouldn't take it personally. However, I would consider if you really want to deal with someone who told you and showed you with his actions that he actually sucks at scheduling, making concrete plans, and following through.


If you are not cool with that, then be smart and take a polite pass on this. Especially since you might have to work and interact with him and so getting further involved and then resentful and frustrated with his waffling ways is going to lead to some kind of unpleasantness. Maybe opt for not muddying the waters. On the other hand if you can easily roll with this kind of behavior and expect nothing much, then go for it.

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I wouldn't try to schedule anything more with him.


If he asks you to meet up, tell him that rather than scheduling in a date as you appreciate he's really busy right now, you look forward to seeing some time at the club. If/when you do see him at the club, make sure to be friendly and pleased to see him.


He's already given you a taste of what it would be like to be his girlfriend!

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It sound like both of you are equally not interested. You are both ok with the idea going on a date but not too excited about it. When you don't make actual plans the risk of cancellation is very high. Also it does sound like he is doing a lot of effort and explaining and calling you. I understood that you have not initiated these dates?


If you are interested in him I would suggest making a plan on the phone. Agree 3 days beforehand lunch at a specific restaurant and agree to meet at 3 pm in front of it. Then you have a clear plan and if it still doesn't work then it doesn't.

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