cherubrock Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 You just need your sexual awakening. You just happen to be a girl that needs a decent guy to allow yourself to be awoken like that. Not really a bad thing, just need to find the guy. You have issues compartmentalizing sex and feelings. I do too. You can't really enjoy the sex if you don't have the emotions. My solution for myself was develop the emotions before introducing sex. I do need my sexual awakening. I've had orgasm before...but its wasn't through actual intercourse. It was a sudden touch on my boob by this friend I had a crush on. That was so long ago though. Also some of my "cam-sex" experiences have been good. I just feel bad...that I didn't or couldn't let out these feelings to this guy...I even feel kind of guilty for the demise of it..since I wasn't being my true self. But it wasn't ever a time I felt I could safely and intimately do that, but I think I subconsciously "chose" this person BECAUSE I wouldn't "have to" have that sort of intimacy and disclosure, in a sense I feel like I somewhat failed. Almost the whole time it was dealing with what bothered him, in the form of arguing and silent treatments, and that probably gave me a sense of comfort who knows. It never felt like it was of much interest to him my inner state or what I'm like inside, so thats probably why it I didn't open up. It just bothers me now though...how would he have taken it if I would've just said it??? I mean I can still tell him..I don't know if its too late though...we are kind of broke up but he's been still contacting me here and there for sexual reasons. He said we can still have sex to "learn how to get better at it" Link to comment
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