Need to gently let down an older woman.

[Portland94]

Yes. So I went out for drinks with her the first night, had a few drinks, great time and I went back home. The second night, I went to her house and we slept together. A few days later I went to her house with the same intention but she brings me on this big, extravagant date instead, got lunch, took a ferry and all that sorta stuff. Not what I wanted or planned. She obviously got the wrong impression. The third day was when she started planning all stuff in the future, getting me to take selfies, holding my hand etc etc.

[Starlight925]

Be direct.

 

Call her and tell her that there is no way you will entertain a relationship. She will cry, and beg, and plead. And you know what? She still won't get the message.

 

You will have to reinforce this every single time you see her. And you will see her a lot, because she will show up at your bar every chance she gets.

[boltnrun]

Yes. So I went out for drinks with her the first night, had a few drinks, great time and I went back home. The second night, I went to her house and we slept together. A few days later I went to her house with the same intention but she brings me on this big, extravagant date instead, got lunch, took a ferry and all that sorta stuff. Not what I wanted or planned. She obviously got the wrong impression. The third day was when she started planning all stuff in the future, getting me to take selfies, holding my hand etc etc.

 

Well, now it makes more sense why she thinks you two are dating. Because you are (or, more accurately, were).

 

I'm not sure how she was supposed to get the message that she's too old for you when you went on three dates with her. Now, maybe they weren't actual dates per se, but still, after the first time you went back twice for more.

 

You are going to have to bite the bullet and tell her that, while she's a terrific lady, you won't be dating her anymore. Period.

[LaHermes]

Very extreme Portland

 

The third day was when she started planning all stuff in the future, getting me to take selfies, holding my hand etc etc.

 

The difficulty isn't with the fact she is older than you, the difficult is that she is mentally unstable, and that must have become apparent to you with the OTT extravagance of that third time.

[boltnrun]

Because she is sixteen years older than me and the age gap is just too much for s young man? Surely she can't be serious right?

 

She is serious. And don't call her Shirley. (Sorry, couldn't resist)

[Portland94]

It was apparent. The second I left I wrote this post. Well she hasn't messaged me for two days so maybe she got the hint.

[Jennifer weave]

OP, if you consistently get crazy women, have you considered that you're doing something to make them lash out?

 

I mean, that craziness was probably there before. But is it possible you're doing something to make it worse/bring it out?

 

I thought this very thing. Not trying to be ugly, but my ex of 18 months who broke up with me via text, and then went "ghost" used to tell me all of his exes were "psycho." That should have been a red flag. Ummmmm.... maybe Bc you do things, like break up with your long term girlfriend through a text message??? (My ex, not you.)

 

* eye roll *