Need some clarity regarding an employee

[JustAnother116]

Not sure where to start, but I will give you the basics. I work for a company and I have a rule that I don't get too comfortable with people I work with and I stay strictly professional. Well, I broke my number one rule and I don't know why. I work with hundreds of women, they are pretty good looking and never broke this rule. One day I got paired up with this lady who I never worked with or spoke too. She left me a funny sticky note with a harmless joke about a turtle. Then it turned into passing notes back and forth throughout the shift, which I thought to pass time. We always get along so well. We were almost best friends. I never asked if she had a boyfriend because I didn't see her more than a friend. She asked me if I wanted to go hiking, which I thought sounds like fun. We both workout, not together, but at separate gyms. Then I asked her if she had a boyfriend/husband. She said boyfriend, but they started dating a couple months back and its not an issue. She said he knows we are friends because she's open with him and leaves our notes in her dresser. As do I, just for work purposes. Our notes were never sexual or anything which could cause us issues. Except for the fact you cannot pass notes, but no one really cares because most people don't talk to each other where I work. They pretty much hate one another, but its always quiet. I said I would have to think about the hiking. She would list a bunch a places in the notes without me bringing it up. I eventually said I don't really socialize with people at work, so I don't think its the best idea. She was a little upset, but our notes continued without problems. I told her I us to personal train, before I worked for this company. I knew she had spent ALOT of money at a gym getting into shape. Anyways, she started becoming really touchy, like putting the notes into my pocket and maybe me being a guy thought I am pretty sure she hit my penis. I didn't she any reaction on her face, so I didn't think anything of it. I thought okay it was harmless. Over the next few weeks she was always so happy to see me.

 

This is where it gets confusing. One day I got moved to the other side of the factory. I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but I did walk near her for lunch. She got so upset with me and wrote me a note asking why I am not talking to her. It was not a bad note, but when she gave it to me on the desk she looked really upset(sad). I'm confused because she has a boyfriend. I explained to her what happen and she was happy again. The next day, the same thing happen and she wouldn't even talk to me and I went to her before work ended and she got up and walked away. I was annoyed when it happen because other people saw it take place. They said what did you do. I did nothing. The same lady who saw the situation, came to me later and she has been in a different mood all night since and its not normal for her to act like this.

 

Anyways, we got placed back together and everything went back to normal for a couple weeks. She eventually ended up giving me her phone number, which I thought odd, because she has a boyfriend and I know there is nothing wrong with that, but if I had a girlfriend, just me, I would not be giving my number out to women. We would text after work and sometimes through out the day. Then She asked if she changed gyms, could we workout together a couple days a week. I said, if you want to change gyms I cant stop you, but I usually put headphones on and workout hard and I don't have time to workout with someone. I offered one day a week I could help her, but nothing more. I had clients and they would start building serious feelings for me. We always hadto be careful. I explained that to her and she said I have a boyfriend and it wont be a problem.

 

We both work mid-nights and I am always up at night, sleep during the day thing. One Friday night I get a text from her saying I am going to the club with a couple lady friends to dance. Meet up with us and dance with me. I said I cannot. I know what some people are thinking, but I am not one of those guys anymore, like when I was in my early 20's. I know she wants to get close with me and dance. Maybe no harm there, but I said I cannot. I get a text at 2 am saying I am heading home. I said I am just finishing up my work out. Shes like, "do you live near this club?" I said yes, so I said why dont you meet me and we can hangout and talk. Nothing happen, we just had a really good talk. At the end she told me she lives with her boyfriend. I told her we cannot continue out texting and must keep things to a minimum because I don't want to get in the middle of anything. As she was leaving she asked for a hug and I said as long as you have a boyfriend I cannot. Shes always polite to everyone and quiet, so I am confused. She doesn't flirt or talk to any other guys from what I see. Only me

 

Well she has been so angry with me, she wont talk to me, since the night she came over. No notes, nothing. Am I not see something. Is my judgement clouded. Any honest, logical suggestions. I know she has feelings. They way she looks at me. Its like she can look right through me. When she was talking to me and when she knew work was stressful she would come over and check on me and talk to me like a wife would. I dont know what to think.

[Jeetsun]

This girl has made numerous attempts to get your attention and validation. It seems to me she's looking to cheat on her boyfriend with you based on how she's been acting. She's already emotionally cheating on the guy with the close conversations and note passing with you. Then she asks to workout with you and to dance with her, she wants to lead up with close proximity. Don't think the note that was placed in your pocket to feel you up was an accident. Ask yourself, if you had a girlfriend, would this be appropriate behavior?

 

You've done right though by standing your ground and straight up telling her that you're not being affectionate nor hanging out (hiking/working out/dancing) out of respect for being with someone. She's mad because you're not giving into her games and giving her the attention she wants outside of her relationship. This girl is clearly showing you her character, she's strikes me as a cheater. Hypothetically, if she did break up with her boyfriend and wanted to pursue things with you, I wouldn't recommend it, she would invariably do the same thing to you. Keep it professional at work and don't get involved.