Spouse that never apologizes

[CashewNut]

My spouse never apologizes for anything even when she is clearly wrong or, just to even cool a situation.

 

I told her that in all the four years we have been together she has never apologized once. She admits that but says she has never made a mistake. Ever.

 

I want to be with a person who, like all human beings, does make mistakes, who learns from them, can admit to them, and that are forgiven. That's what makes life a constant learning process.

 

However her ego and arrogance are so out of control that she says she will never apologize for anything.

 

Is this normal?

[Ffw25]

Uhhhh no, that's some signs of serious pride issues. I have a hard time admitting I'm wrong and don't apologize sometimes when I should, but this is some next level stuff.

[SherrySher]

Hell no, it's not normal.

 

To try and have a relationship with a person that stubborn and that up their own butt would be impossible and severely aggravating. I realise that some people have a difficult time admitting fault but not admitting fault or apologising, even once, after four years?? It shows a lack of humility and a lack of growth as a person and a very seriously immature side to them.

 

Good luck with that one...most would have left long time ago.

[boltnrun]

Did she just recently start doing this?

 

Because if she's always been like this, you knew who you were marrying.

[CashewNut]

She only became like this after marriage. I just avoid confrontation now and just do my own thing.

 

It is sheer arrogance.

[CashewNut]

I mean I can be an ahole at times but usually generous to everyone around me. Wife also has a strong jealousy trait, insecurity and always, without fail, wants to have the last word.

[MissCanuck]

So, why are you still there?

[Midasinreverse]

You have to feel so tired im sorry youre going through that my wife is similar but has gotten better. Know that youre feelings and frustrations are valid and try and let her know how it feels that you mever recieve that validation or apoligy if she refuses to understand or at least attempt to you might have to let go or seek help from a therapist together its not healthy to stay in a relationship with a narcisist they can drain you till you start to question your sanity

[Wolfshook]

Stop apologizing and stand up for yourself. You dont have to yell, just state your opinion and dont let her belitle it.

[Jeetsun]

That's one of the worst character traits a person can have; taking no accountability for their mistakes and actions.

[Batya33]

How early on did you know this about her and if so, why did you choose to marry her? Sometimes I have a hard time apologizing and I do it anyway. And it can't be "I'm sorry but...' with a justification. It has to be a simple "I'm sorry" and if there is any explanation that can happen later and not as a justification but just so the other person knows the context and also understands how that person plans to change the situation so either that context doesn't arise again or if it does what the reaction will be. Make sure that when you apologize it's a sincere one since if you want that from her you should be doing that as well.

[Giblesp]

My spouse never apologizes for anything even when she is clearly wrong or, just to even cool a situation.

 

I told her that in all the four years we have been together she has never apologized once. She admits that but says she has never made a mistake. Ever.

 

I want to be with a person who, like all human beings, does make mistakes, who learns from them, can admit to them, and that are forgiven. That's what makes life a constant learning process.

 

However her ego and arrogance are so out of control that she says she will never apologize for anything.

 

Is this normal?

 

It's normal in terms of todays dysfunction unfortunately. Its a form of emotional abuse which builds up over time and eats into the other person. Was she like this when you married her? I'm guessing not.

 

You could try talking to her about it and express the way it makes you feel, after that it might be time to consider a divorce. She'll just get worse as she gets older, and that will eat into your health and well being.

[Careerchoice]

I just avoid confrontation now and just do my own thing.

 

Don't think that your actions and hers aren't directly related. Unless you get her to stop acting like that, she's not going to magically stop acting like that. It's going to require confrontation.

 

It is sheer arrogance.

 

You're being very passive-aggressive. Complaining about her behind her back isn't going to solve anything.

[ShatteredMan]

She's probably a narcissist and (OP) you're trying to avoid a battle that you know is coming. Man up and take a stand for what you want and make decisions now about what you will do if things don't change.

[Reginalove]

I can say your wife is very stubborn! Lol I can relate on some levels because my pride does get the best of me sometimes. But I change my ways in order to make my partner happy. What u should do (even though I'm sure you have countless times) is speak to her about how you feel and what the right thing she should be doing is. If the person wants to change, changes will be made

[Rollergirl13]

My spouse never apologizes for anything even when she is clearly wrong or, just to even cool a situation.

 

I told her that in all the four years we have been together she has never apologized once. She admits that but says she has never made a mistake. Ever.

 

I want to be with a person who, like all human beings, does make mistakes, who learns from them, can admit to them, and that are forgiven. That's what makes life a constant learning process.

 

However her ego and arrogance are so out of control that she says she will never apologize for anything.

 

Is this normal?

 

My ex husband never apologized in 16 years! Even when he cheated! Narcissistic behavior! I hope your situation gets better but get out early or you will waste so much time like I did. Dating in your 40's is hard!!

[MacTheII]

I'm just two years deep with a girlfriend and this is an issue I have. If I'm still having it after marrying her something went really wrong!

[eurogirl7]

My spouse never apologizes for anything even when she is clearly wrong or, just to even cool a situation.

 

I told her that in all the four years we have been together she has never apologized once. She admits that but says she has never made a mistake. Ever.

 

I want to be with a person who, like all human beings, does make mistakes, who learns from them, can admit to them, and that are forgiven. That's what makes life a constant learning process.

 

However her ego and arrogance are so out of control that she says she will never apologize for anything.

 

Is this normal?

 

 

oh my god. people here are so quick to throw your relationship down the drain. My parents have been together nearly 30 years and my mum legit has apologised probably twice. It's annoying yes but you accept people for their flaws. but it's not a reason to break up. Is everything else okay and good? if so, just sit down and say this is how you feel you understand she's not the type of person to say sorry - however, my mum says sorry in different ways - she would help me out more, make me my favourite meal, come and talk to me, ask me for a coffee - it was through these actions I could see she was in fact sorry. I don't think you should listen to people berating your spouse when they don't even know her and are judging her off ONE thing telling you she's not normal and 'why are you still there.' like, come on.

[deedee911]

My boyfriend is the same way! Completely insensitive to how I feel. He won't even say it to cool.down a situation. I think this is a sign of her lack of ability to take responsibility! Trust me the issue isn't her not saying sorry it is the fact that she won't lower her pride for.the relationship. Some people would rather be right than do the right thing. You get me?