TiredMama2017 Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Hello everybody. I'm hoping for some advice if you will and I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. Basically I'm no longer sexually attracted to my partner of 8 years. We have a house and a baby. We got together when I was 19 and he was 29. He was my first boyfriend and sexual partner. Right from the beginning the sex has never been great for me. It took 3 years of trying for him to give me an orgasm (through foreplay - I've never had an orgasm through penetrative sex). I also have a low libido so while I would have been happy to have sex like once a year (honestly) he definitely wouldn't so I've spent most of our relationship just putting up with it to keep him happy and not hurt his feelings. But I just can't keep that up anymore. The last couple of years we've had sex maybe 7 or 8 times (I will add we have a baby so most of those times were us trying to conceive) and we've 'attempted' sex once since my baby was born last September. I say attempted as I was so not into it that I couldn't relax enough for him to penetrate me and I tore. I'm ashamed to say that I've been using the excuse of pre/post-pregnancy hormones as the reason I don't want to have sex as I can't bear the thought of how devastated he'd be if I told him I just don't find him attractive anymore. He's being so patient with me and I feel awful that I'm deceiving him. I really do love him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I just don't want to have sex with him again. HELP! I know I'll have to talk with him but, rather selfishly, I don't want to as I'm scared he'll end our relationship. But I also know it's not fair to keep deceiving him. I want to carry on our life together raising our baby and not have to constantly worry about sex. Any advice? Thank you x Link to comment
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