Friends w/ benefits Gone wrong help

[doratheexplora]

I have been in this situation since November of 2016. Me, and this guy both agreed to keep our relationship strictly friends, and no feelings attached.. sooner than you know I started catching these feelings, but I didn't admit to how I felt .. shortly after he did admit that he liked me but nothing serious.... two months in his true colors started to show he was drinking more .. started openly disrespecting me more often. I continued to stick around thinking things could change. We spent almost every single day together .. wasn't a day we didn't text .. we were around his family a lot .. not to mention we always did couple like things.. going out to eat going places etc.. He then started to go through my phone without permission, and blaming me for why he could never take me serious when in reality .. he told me from the jump who he was, and about other women ... even though I knew he wasn't boyfriend material I still stuck it out .. and continued our friendship .. I've told him three separate occasions that I felt for him, and each and every time he expressed how we could never really be.. each time I've realized I could do better and that the relationship was getting toxic .. with his mental, physical abuse, and all these mind games.. I then would try to close things up in person but somehow he would always say something slick or in a way to convince me to stay .. then here I am back at his place sleeping over .. up most recently I tried to break things off .. he asked me to at least remain friends non sexual .. so I again went against my word to be his friend.. he then again got into my pants .. and then again went into my phone, and this time seen private conversations .. calling me out my name .. using a double standard with me once again.. i can't seem to escape him .. I'm trying to move on but I keep reflecting back to him.. my friends and family dislike him, and always tell me I can do better .. can anyone relate ): why can't I just walk away

[happyfrank]

If you truly want him out of your life. Delete and block his number. You need to take control. You leave the door open for him and he takes full advantage. You can't be friends with him.

[Knight2001]

hi,

i agree with happyfrank. you need to delete and block him.

ask yourself why you want him in your life. if this was a close friend asking you advice about this subject you would tell them to delete, block and move on.

you want a relationship - he doesnt. he just wants to treat you badly.

you can do better, and you know you can.

good luck and i hope you find happiness soon.

[doratheexplora]

If you truly want him out of your life. Delete and block his number. You need to take control. You leave the door open for him and he takes full advantage. You can't be friends with him.

 

Your absolutely right ..

[doratheexplora]

hi,

i agree with happyfrank. you need to delete and block him.

ask yourself why you want him in your life. if this was a close friend asking you advice about this subject you would tell them to delete, block and move on.

you want a relationship - he doesnt. he just wants to treat you badly.

you can do better, and you know you can.

good luck and i hope you find happiness soon.

 

Yes I do .. but because I leave that door open like Frank said .. I keep getting hurt .. so it's time to close that door

[HeartGoesOn]

my friends and family dislike him, and always tell me I can do better .. can anyone relate ): why can't I just walk away

 

I think you'd have an easier time walking away if you set your values at a higher level, and avoid settling to be just a body to bang, (No offense intended).

 

Keep in mind that we set the standards for how others treat us.

[doratheexplora]

I think you'd have an easier time walking away if you set your values at a higher level, and avoid settling to be just a body to bang, (No offense intended).

 

Keep in mind that we set the standards for how others treat us.

 

What your saying is absolutely true.. thank you for your input

[lostandhurt]

You will never do better unless you try to do better than him.

 

Let's say you meet a nice guy but your "friend" is still in the picture. How long do you think anyone will stick around with him even remotely close to you?

 

You can never move forward if you keep living in the past.

 

Stop all contact with this guy and he will go away sooner or later once he figures out you will not open the door again. Sure he will hit you once in a while to see if he can catch you in a weak moment but as long as you delete and block him it shouldn't matter.

 

Take some time to rebuild your self esteem, start hanging out with people that love you and sped time with true friends and before long you will look back at this and see that there is no way you would ever even talk to him again.

 

Remember he isn't the one causing this, you are. He is simply doing what he does which is to take advantage of the situation to get what he wants which happens to be sex.

 

You can stop this

 

Lost

[boltnrun]

He's physically abusive???

 

Please get some professional help. Continuing to try to have a relationship with a man who physically abuses you is a sign that you need some counseling.

[ThatwasThen]

why can't I just walk away

Because deep down, you don't think you deserve anything better.

 

... Why is that?

[boltnrun]

"each time I've realized I could do better and that the relationship was getting toxic .. with his mental, physical abuse, and all these mind games"

 

This is the exact reason why this has to end.