Jump to content

Did I miss my chance? What should I do?


Recommended Posts

Okay, so I'm pretty sure a co-worker of mine was interested several months ago, but I didn't pick up on it in time. We work at a large factory and I usually only work around her a few minutes every week and a half or so. She ended up going to the opposite shift for a few months. I never really talked to her much.


When she eventually came back to our regular shift and started joining in on conversations I was having with her co workers I'd gotten to know. Then one day she stopped me and started a conversation with me over really nothing. I ended up working around her area a lot more than normal, every 2-3 days, for a couple of weeks. She was always really happy to see me, was very flirty, and after we got to talking we had a lot in common, we seemed to have a lot of chemistry. I was really sure she was into me. I found out one of my female co-workers had been her workout partner at the gym awhile back and that she'd been single then (which was when I noticed her looking at me and getting nervous when I came around before she went to the opposite shift).


So I went out the next time planning to ask her out. She was still excited to see me, but when I started building to ask her out she mentioned a boyfriend out of the blue. I kept talking to her and didn't acknowledge she'd said it, but realized she hadn't said it for no reason. So I backed off some, still talked to her regularly but didn't ask her out. I assumed I'd misread her or had missed my chance while she was single.


But, her behavior towards me hasn't changed (although I haven't been around her near as much the last couple of weeks) she's still flirts and is very friendly, has told me more about herself, and has never mentioned the boyfriend again. A couple of things have me wondering though. She told me about a private tattoo she'd just gotten and was freaking out over out off the blue. It seemed like something she wouldn't share with a guy she just saw as a friend especially since we hadn't really known each other very long. The other thing was when she asked me when I was going to the opposite shift (I don't want to) and told me she didn't want to either, she'd hated it when she went. I didn't think much of that at first other than being a odd question. But, I've since found out that her boyfriend is another co-worker on the other shift and they've been off and on for a couple of years.


So now I'm wondering if I should say something to let her know for sure that if she was single I'd ask her out? Maybe kind of a half joking comment like "Why couldn't you be single" or "Why can't I find a woman like you". Or just tell her I was going to ask her out until she mentioned him?


I'm confused on what to do. Did I misread her interest? I don't think I did, I interact with a lot of women all over work and always can tell when a girl is just being friendly but it felt different with her and she's pretty much initiated our contact. I've noticed her around other guys at work and she doesn't seem to act them like she does me. She told me another man in my group hit on her awhile ago and she wasn't having it.


Did I miss my chance when she was single? From what I can tell she got back with her on/off ex when she went to dayshift. I get the feeling I'm on the back burner in case she and her boyfriend break up again.


Should I say something or keep talking as I have been?

Link to comment
I get the feeling I'm on the back burner in case she and her boyfriend break up again.
you would be correct.


i'd drop it.


this is what i call a milking stool (remember? the three legged ones?)


When a pair of people have an obviously unstable and uncomfortable relationship that is on off, that tells you they want to stay for the good times and are looking for ways to make the bad times more comfortable. when tension rises, they look for a third party to deflect the tension to, the Three basically absorbs the stress and offers comfort, which makes her feel less alarmed and stressed, and properly pampered like that, she's recharged and able to endure her volatile relationship, energized and ready for another round of "honeymoon phase/verge of breaking up phase". these people aren't even looking for replacement partners. they're looking for an anti-stress ball to help them survive the relationship they never are able and willing to leave behind.


plus it'd be super awkward when he finds out about you, considering you all work at the same place.


generally, people who haven't been comfortably single for a reasonable period of time are bad choices.


i must admit i don't understand the appeal. she flirts when taken and teases men other than her boyfriend with the state of her vajajay tattoo. picking her up strikes me as pretty much the equivalent of picking up chewing gum off the ground.

Link to comment
I get the feeling I'm on the back burner in case she and her boyfriend break up again.


Maybe, but you would have put yourself there, so it's a strange case.


In any event, there's way too much speculation and not enough action out of you. At the very least, for your own personal growth, the next time you're chatting her up you should escalate things, i.e., get her number, ask her out, etc. Then you'll know her true intentions with you. If she's on board, great. If not, you can put this to rest and concentrate on finding someone else.

Link to comment

If you had a gf, would you want some guy to tell her of his interest? I'd think not, so don't lack integrity and do this to someone who is taken. She's not good gf material. She flirts with other guys when she's in a relationship.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...