ultislayer Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Hello everyone. I am new to this forum and sincerely seek all your advice. I wasn't very sure if this belonged in the friendship board or the emotion/feeling board but since I feel it has something to do with me, I will be posting it here. Let's start of with a bit of background. There is this girl that I like ( lets call her Girl A ). I originally had a liking towards her about 3 years back, but it was pretty superficial then. This was when I first started junior high and since I came from a all guys school, my interaction ability with girls was almost zero. Nevertheless, I met some awesome friends who were female as well. The problem is that I also met my fair share of really awkward situations regarding other girls ( especially those who I like ), where I tried to be too into the whole conversing with them. Because of these situations, and also due to a natural fear of confessing, I am always afraid of being too honest due to fear of losing my friendship with them. I truly treasure friendship and when I lose them, I sometimes get emotional to the point where it last for months on end. Anyways back to Girl A. I would like to introduce a third party now ( Lets call him Guy B ). Guy B is a friend of mine ( not super close though ) who also recently became close friends with Girl A alongside me. I think all 3 of us hang out pretty fine together, but I am always constantly on edge due to how Guy B behaves around Girl A. He likes to play around with her hair, wrap his arm around her shoulder, play with her hand etc. He also likes to chat with her ( via social media ) in a very repetitive sarcastic tone ( Girl A always tells me about this on chat) and constantly repeating things which I find somewhat cringe worthy. He also always comments on her FB posts. Girl A is also somewhat touchy with him as well, but I feel that this is more due to her personality than an affection ( though I could be wrong ), since she is also sometimes touchy with me as well ( we constantly nudge each other and she has a habit of slapping me albeit in a friendly way lol). I feel that Girl A and I are also able to engage in more personnel and deeper conversations and she has asked me to go out with her a few times. The problem is that she says she doesn't have time for a relationship ( though she is open to having one???) and doesn't like it when guys go out with her to court her. I get really triggered when I see guy B being too comfortable with Girl A, but I usually try to restrain myself because I feel that I will become overly jealous and possessive. Due to this scenario, as well as my character ( I am always seeking to improve myself ) and trauma from past incidents ( I have a bad habit of being unable to let go ), I feel like I develop thoughts that I cannot get outta my head, as well as irrational action. In the not too distant past, I always fret when she doesn't reply my text within 4-8 hours because I am scared I said something wrong and I keep going to dating sites/casual encounter sites ( although never following through with it because I fear it will destroy my mind). Its because of this I felt I placed her on a pedestal to which some of my friends agreed and hence I tried taking active action to control my thought process, even seeking the help of a Councillor to go through this. However, I am at the crossroads as to whether I like her or like her as a friends ( i have blurred the lines between the 2 ). The main issue is me getting triggered by Guy B's actions towards Girl A, and being jealous that I do not have the confidence to do the same thing. But if you guys can help me address the overarching problem, I will be extremely grateful as well. P.S some extra information, when I say Guy B engages in sarcastic remarks or repeats what he says, the sarcastic remark goes along the lines of Girl A asking where he is and guy B replying "in your heart, breaking it". He also repeats the same topic and always addresses her as little girl. ( Girl A is constantly mistaken as a kid due to her height). Guy B has a rather unique way of talking to people, but who am I to judge others. Link to comment
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