Was I wrong for reacting this way

[summablairr]

I've been with my boyfriend is over a year. We have different personalities and lifestyles. He's more of a social butterfly who likes to party every weekend. While I'm more chill and introverted. We've had our arguments in the past. I didn't like him going out and the things he would post online when he would go out. Recently I was able to get him tickets to a concert over the weekend that consisted of 3 days. For him and his mother. Even getting backstage passes to meet celebrities and the artists who attended. The experience was great at first. But the last day his mother decided not to go. He told me he would give his ticket to a friend of his. I wasn't sure who the friend was and I was bit hesitant because he's told me before that this guy does mushrooms and drugs sometimes and also he participates in orgies. I didn't feel comfortable meeting him and wasn't sure how he would act around my family because they were attending as well. I ended up being nice and let him give them two tickets for the guy and his girlfriend to attend. During the concert my boyfriend acted like he wanted to give them the tickets himself instead of me meeting them and handing it to them. He kept telling me to just enjoy myself at the concert and he didn't want to hold me back and would give them the tickets. I started thinking maybe he wanted them to think he got them himself. He also posted so much on social media, basically bragging about the tickets and passes he got. However no photos of me was shown at all. When I meet his friends outside. The guy honestly seemed too excited. He kept screaming how happy he was and thankful, but only thanked my boyfriend and saying things like "you the man!" "This guy is awesome!" I asked my boyfriend later if he told them i was able to get the tickets and I couldn't hear him at the time , but he said no and I couldn't understand his reasoning. The guy honestly looked like he was high to me. He kept dancing and singing all loud at the concert, which I know is what you do at concerts, but it was like an extreme and bothersome to the people around him. It was my first time meeting him, but I let my boyfriend know I didn't care for him. We discussed it earlier that day. His way of justifying the guys actions were that he's from the city and people in the city do things like that. I'm from a smaller town .

 

I just explained to him how the morals and values we have, especially as christians we shouldn't hang around people who do things like that and I didn't feel comfortable with him being around him. He usually sleeps at the guys house when he goes out sometimes...but I honestly don't trust him being around my boyfriend.

 

So after the concert, my boyfriend had a few drinks. It's like 1 in the morning and I asked him what he planned on doing after the show. I didn't want to go back home and wanted to try and do something afterwards. He tells me he might go to a club with the guy and girlfriend. I said okay well is it fine if i come too? He said he knows how I don't like to go out clubbing and he didn't want me to go somewhere where i'm not comfortable and thought it would be best for me to go home. I was so upset . Thinking, why wouldn't you invite? I know I'm introverted and struggle with going out, but I felt as a boyfriend he should try to include me in something or we would hang out together as a couple. I already expressed my dislike about the guy and he wants to party with him at 1 in the morning.

 

We argued for a while, to the point where i started crying. I explained to him how I've met men like the guy he's told me about before and I've witnessed people who were closest to me hurt. Basically saying, through my experiences this guy doesn't seem like a safe person to hang out with. He just said we had two different complexity views and he wouldn't do any of those things. The guy is just a cool person. He said we could stay in the lobby of a hotel and just talk for a while, but at one point he just stopped talking to me. I started crying saying he always makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him. I have social anxiety and going to clubs just makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't dance and I'm ready to go home immediately when I go. I've been trying for him to enjoy the scene , but he said he likes me the way I am and he doesn't want me to change and that he doesn't think i"m weird or anything. He just rathered go alone with them so he could dance and enjoy himself. He ended up not going and went home and I did too, but that was after a 2 hour long conversation of us disagreeing.

 

I called him the next day and he didn't respond and would only give me vague responses when i texted him. I told him how I wanted to meet up with his mom before she left to go back home, (it was my first time meeting her and she lives hours away) and he said he already had plans to meet with a coworker and his mom . I asked if I could join and he said he would rather that not happen, because he just wanted to enjoy his last moments with his mom. I understood, but was hurt because I feel as though I've been trying to be a good girlfriend to him, but I end up getting treated the way I do. I was I wrong for reacting this way? I felt it was a bit disrespectful for him to want to party with a guy I don't really care for at 1 in the morning, with the guys girlfriend and not even include me in. Even though I don't like to party, i felt the most respectful thing would be to either include me or just make plans of us doing something else together as a couple.

 

Another time before this he randomly blocked me from calling him. We had no argument that day and everything seemed fine. He mentioned how he might go out of town to shop for a new computer. The place he was going to was in a party city. He never said he would go for certain so I didn't really know what he planned on doing. I tried calling him after not hearing from him for a few hours. My phone would go straight to voicemail, text messages wouldn't go through. At first i figured his phone wasn't working. Then at around midnight I decided to contact him again. Again I had the same experience. I decided to call from a separate phone and it ringed. I got so aggravated and kept calling until he answered. He started calling me back multiple times afterwards and wanted to see if I was okay. He said since I called so many times he thought it was emergency and he was worried. He then said how he had a horrible dream, that made him paranoid and triggered him . He said he would call his mom to calm him down. Later on i tried contacting him again to see if he was okay and my number was blocked once again. When I tried bringing it up to him he said he didn't want to talk about it, because it was a traumatic experience. He said he took so medicine and had been asleep that night and me pestering him for questions just made things worst. He didn't want to talk about it or anything. We had an argument because at one point i told how I couldn't believe he wouldn't talk to me because I feel in a relationship communication is vital to each other. And for his age at 30. I felt he should be more mature.We almost broke up that night, but it ended up being me apologizing and crying.

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. He never posts about me on social media, I tag him in photos he untags himself so it doesn't show on his page. Yet he has photos with other women on his page. Even a girl who just started working with me at my new job he saw her at an event and took a photo with her and I thought. I've been with him for over a year, and this new girl just met him and he has photos of her online already . I know it didn't mean anything, but it's just the thought of it. he has female friends, and i've heard rumors about him and why I shouldn't trust him. I've been depressed for a while, and my moments with him has made me feel even more depressed. It just makes me feel as if i'm not good enough or I feel sometimes that i could be overreacting. I need some advice and also want to know if my actions are not over the top.

[Knight2001]

hi.

if i was you i would dump this man and run a mile. he doesnt seem to have any sensitivity towards you.

hold your head up and move on.

be happy in the knowledge you dodged a bullet.

[Cope]

He doesn't seem to care about your feelings. Not worth it.

[ghghg]

It's amazing what crap you women put up with, but if a guy dares treat you nicely you run the other way because he is too nice.

[nutbrownhare]

This is really not the right guy for you. People's friends are a reflection of who they are, and you don't trust them. His conduct is a matter of opinion - just sounds like partying is a huge thing for him - and it's something that you can well live without.

 

The significant feature here is that you're suffering from depression, and it's getting worse when you're around him. Your relationship is having a terrible effect on your self esteem - and that's likely to get worse rather than better. He has no empathy or understanding for you, and just seems prepared to use you when it suits him. I also wonder if he likes going partying alone because he can pretend to be single; he doesn't seem to want to recognise you publicly on social media, for example. Some guys just don't, but he's quite happy to show off photos of himself with other girls.

 

It will be painful, but I think you need to let this one go, for your own emotional health and wellbeing.

[MissCanuck]

i've heard rumors about him and why I shouldn't trust him.

 

What have you heard?

[summablairr]

What have you heard?

 

someone has told me not to trust him. Said he's a hoe, talks to a lot of women. They even shared their concerns of him partying too much. This was before me and him got together and someone said those things just to warn me about him. He said it was just people trying to break us up, and who were jealous saying those things.