JavierVilchez Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Sorry if this message will be too long, but I want you guys to have all the information. I have been with my girlfriend since 10 months, she is 24 and I am 26. When we started hooking up I told her that I do not want a relationship and each of us is free to do what they wanted. She didnt tell me this directly but I knew from a friend that she was very sad about it. We continued hooking up and around 2 months being with her, I realized I can give a relationship with her a shot. She seemed kind, loyal, loving. After the 2nd month, I saw she was very upset and jealous about me talking or flirting with other girls. The thing is that she was doing even more, like getting very close to my guy friends, so close they can kiss her if they wanted, and so on. We had some conversations about it and we agreed we will be exclusive. After that conversation, I didnt flirt with other girls, dance with other girls or do anything that might upset her. The problem is that she kept doing it for three more months. Even after a lot of fights and arguments, she would always say something like "This is just my friend", "I am not flirthing", "I only do that with close friends". We had a lot of arguments about this for 3 months, until one night, she did exactly the same in a party we both went to. Not only did she approach some guy she never knew, told him that he looked like a guy she used to have sex with, getting close to him, slapping his face in a dirty way, pulling him closer to her, playing with his hair, etc.. On that night I told her that I have had enough. and I am not sure that I want to be with her anymore. After a couple of days her chasing me, I told her she had one last chance and if she did the same, I would leave her. Things got more serious around the 6 months mark, we acknowledge our love for each other and so on. We have a great time. She never got close to any other guy (that I know off) and things are going ok. But over time I discover that she is telling me white lies. She would lie to me if an ex-partner would text her, or if some ex-boyfriend sends her a nasty message. The problem for me is that when I ask her about her weird behavior she would tell me some bull excuse. For example, one night, she was hiding her phone in her book. I asked her what is going on. She said that the phone is slipping and falling on the floor. One other time, she had to wash her hands. She was acting weird and I saw she took her phone with her to the bathroom. When I asked her about it she said her girl friend is sending her a message. I discovered (a few weeks later) she was talking to a guy she hooked up with before. I asked her to show me the messages (some weeks later) and I saw that the messages had nothing dirty/sexual in them. Maybe she deleted the bad messages? She promised many times she would always be truthful with me, but it seems that she keeps repeating the same behaviour and white lies. My girlfriend is telling me a lot of white lies, and I cannot trust her anymore. I love her but I dont know if I should continue with this relationship. I even showed her my phone and all the girls that were trying with me and I rejected them, but nothing is working...!! She was in an abusive relationship one year before she met me. The guy was a jealous control freak. Maybe thats why she is behaving that way? or maybe she made him that way? Any advice? I cannot continue my life like this Link to comment
Sarapatterson Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Break up with her. Plain and simple, why would you put yourself through that? Its not a relationship if you have be constantly stressing about stuff.. 10 months isnt long, find someone who will appreciate you. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 You can't possibly sustain a relationship without trust. Unfortunately she's clearly demonstrated what she's made of, and it is what it is. I'm sure it's a tough pill to swallow, but keep in mind that past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour. Link to comment
Dahl Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour. I find this to be accurate time and again and think it bears repeating. I'm sorry, OP and I wish you luck. Link to comment
Vexna Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Yeah, her ex had obvious reasons for being "overly jealous". IF he was, she probably told you that to make you not treat her the same way. Another lie. Look, this chick hasn't played the field yet, she's probably really young and have many years left to "play". She seems to hope she can have the cake and eat it too. A friends friend of mine was like that. Every guy dumped her due to trust issues. She's had her chances. NEEEEXT! Link to comment
yatsue Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 "She was in an abusive relationship one year before she met me. The guy was a jealous control freak. Maybe thats why she is behaving that way? or maybe she made him that way? Any advice? I cannot continue my life like this" Suuuure he was. I bet you heard all this from her side only? Even perhaps from friends who only know her side? Soon you'll also be known as that abusive ex who invaded her privacy by looking in her phone and started fights because you couldn't trust her talking with her friends, right? You are under the classification of "a jealous control freak" already! Seem like a tiger hasn't changed her stripes and will easily twist a situation in her favor if it doesn't work out. So, what do you know specifically about her "abusive" ex? Any similarities? It could be very telling. History tends to repeat itself. Link to comment
Knight2001 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 get rid of her and move on. you dont need this in your life. good luck Link to comment
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