xcookie7x Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'd appreciate guys perspectives but either will do. When dating someone how soon is too soon to ask a guy what he's looking for (assuming it's someone you started talking to that was not on a dating site)? Or should it never be asked because it will most likely freak the guy out and you should just go with the flow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahl Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Pretty pro good communication, as a rule. Can you please elaborate a bit more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcookie7x Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 We've been talking for a little over a month now straight through texting. I've been on dates with him, about 6. If I ask him what he's looking for in dating me or what he wants out of dating me will that just scare him? Should I even ask at all or will it freak him out? I know labels are stupid according to most people. But I have true feelings for him. Just would like to know if hes open to a relationship but really would rather not scare him away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 We've been talking for a little over a month now straight through texting. I've been on dates with him, about 6. If I ask him what he's looking for in dating me or what he wants out of dating me will that just scare him? Should I even ask at all or will it freak him out? I know labels are stupid according to most people. But I have true feelings for him. Just would like to know if hes open to a relationship but really would rather not scare him away. I dunno about you but I'd be having that conversation BEFORE we became sexually intimate whether it "scares him away" would be neither here nor there because if it did.. well good riddance to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcookie7x Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 Okay well we haven't had sex yet lol so how should i go about saying it? I don't know how to phrase it without freaking him out. My friends mom said one month is too soon to ask if hes looking for a relationship out of seeing me so i don't know. And it's not because I want to scare him away from just sex I just don't want to come off really obsessive or serious too soon because I know that kind of thing can be scary for people especially when dating had hurt them in the past. I don't want to seem to be moving way too fast. But also don't want to assume he's def looking for a relationship if he isn't ya know? Don't know if I'm waiting too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Okay well we haven't had sex yet lol so how should i go about saying it? I don't know how to phrase it without freaking him out. My friends mom said one month is too soon to ask if hes looking for a relationship out of seeing me so i don't know. And it's not because I want to scare him away from just sex I just don't want to come off really obsessive or serious too soon because I know that kind of thing can be scary for people especially when dating had hurt them in the past. I don't want to seem to be moving way too fast. But also don't want to assume he's def looking for a relationship if he isn't ya know? Don't know if I'm waiting too long.Have the conversation BEFORE you have sex is my point. You've only been on six dates. Chill and enjoy and watch to make sure his actions match his words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SocialStigma Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I had the "what are we" talk after 2 months of dating and I was the one who brought it up. I basically said "so we've been seeing each other for 2 months now..just wanted to let you know that I'm not seeing anyone else and I don't want to. how about you?" He said he felt the same and wanted to be exclusive. A week later he asked me to be his girlfriend officially. One month might be a little soon for some people (I don't think I would've been ready at 1 month to commit yet), but if you already have strong feelings for him then it's probably better to find out sooner rather than later if you're on the same page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I had the "what are we" talk after 2 months of dating and I was the one who brought it up. I basically said "so we've been seeing each other for 2 months now..just wanted to let you know that I'm not seeing anyone else and I don't want to. how about you?" He said he felt the same and wanted to be exclusive. A week later he asked me to be his girlfriend officially. One month might be a little soon for some people (I don't think I would've been ready at 1 month to commit yet), but if you already have strong feelings for him then it's probably better to find out sooner rather than later if you're on the same page. That's perfect! In my next relationship, that is how I will do it too, if it hasn't become obvious by then that we "are" exclusive. In past relationships, it was obvious so no need to ask. But things have become so much more ambiguous these past few years, I think next time I will approach it like you did SS. Perfect way of handling what might otherwise be an awkward convo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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