inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Male 35. Never married - no kids. I was sick for 8 years and just got my health back 10 months ago and been working out at the gym since then. I met this girl who seemed nice and my interests grew for her. As I started to date her things took a turn for confusion. She has 3 kids and recently kicked out her x husband. She told me her X husband was allowed back into the kids life, but she told me he failed and was a deadbeat dad. As I got to know this girl money became the front of all problems. She kept stressing about keeping her home since the rent was too much for her. She needed for this month 1079 - so as a nice guy I gave her 500. She continued to stress about losing the house and then I started to question if I was being used. She comes across as caring off and on, but when it comes down to her and I having time to enjoy ourselves. it felt like the simple things became the impossible. She never complemented me, she would never accept a complement from me if I called her beautiful. I would say "Your beautiful" her response was "Disaster" . At first I let these things go for a time, but now its bothering me to the point of ending it. She told me if I paid the rent I can live with her, but only known her for about one month. Rent she needs is 1700. Im trying to gain things back in my life, like a car and just enjoying myself after being sick for so long. Part of me feels like a peice of crap if I pull away from this situation ( 3 kids ) but im not the one who should be responsible. When I ask her to do something most times its "I don't know or il let you know" Today i wanted to do something tomorrow BBQ, but it took me a few tires for her to accept it. When she came up stairs to drop me off I asked her to stop stressing and relax for a few. it took her 90 seconds to leave. I do not know what to think of this situation. Should I run away from this? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Run Forest run....seriously.... Don't get involved with damaged broken damsels in distress. One month in and already asking you for rent money, offering for you to move in with her????!!!!!! That alone is nuts and reason to run and run fast. Of course she is using you and she is not quite all there to ask a man she's barely gone on a few dates with to go ahead and move in with her and her kids. When you see crazy, just walk away. Link to comment
inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 guess i just want to love a girl and desperation in me wanted to risk it. Like there was times she would hold me and smile and talk about life with me. But many times I feel like its not working out at all. She also said she cheated because the other guy did not make her happy or physically hurt her. She said to me "Treat me right and you have nothing to worry about". That to me was a big red flag. She stressed and talked about her X, how bad he was and how she did not like her sister and that conversation happened a lot. As a guy who lost a lot of life due to sickness my desperation landed me in a problem. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 This has massive red flags and disaster written all over it! Dude, turn and head for the hills and don't look back! She's bad news and will use you for all you've got. Before you know it, you've given her every penny you have and believe me, you will NEVER see that money again. Seriously, cut your losses and RUN! Also, never, ever, ever be so desperate so as to allow people to use you and walk all over you. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Everything about her is a big red flag. Stop being so desperate that you'd compromise your own self worth to try to have a relationship with this woman. She sounds like a total flake. Giving her money was a mistake, you won't see it back. Where does she get off telling you to pay the rent and you can move in? She's looking for a sucker; dont be that guy. Link to comment
inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 I just fear being alone - so I went for it. I know there are other girls who find me attractive, but they are younger age 25. 10 years difference. It just sucks feeling like this and I hate knowing gaining something in love is far out of reach. Link to comment
Kalika Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Speaking as a woman, and a mom, I would NEVER EVER EVER let a man move in with me after dating a month when I have children to worry about!! She needs your $$$ and she sounds like a completely desperate, half empty bag of nuts. Yes you should dump her. And on top of all that, it doesn't sound like she's even that interested in you. Link to comment
inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 yeah I do not want to be that guy at all... Realization hit me today. I was like well this sucks - being used and know it while she smiles my way as if she likes me. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 guess i just want to love a girl and desperation in me wanted to risk it. Like there was times she would hold me and smile and talk about life with me. But many times I feel like its not working out at all. She also said she cheated because the other guy did not make her happy or physically hurt her. She said to me "Treat me right and you have nothing to worry about". That to me was a big red flag. She stressed and talked about her X, how bad he was and how she did not like her sister and that conversation happened a lot. As a guy who lost a lot of life due to sickness my desperation landed me in a problem. Wow.....more giant red flags....actually not even red flags anymore, immediate deal breakers. Beware of people bad mouthing their ex's. You can rest assured that they'll end up talking about you that way too. It takes two to break a relationship and those who will badmouth their ex's are people who are taking zero responsibility for their role in the situation. Sorry, but this is below the bottom of the barrel and you can so do better. You've been sick for 8 years, so now you owe it to yourself to actually get back on your feet and enjoy life. This woman is going to destroy you and that's about the last thing that you need. Also, please don't let her con you with the whole children thing. They actually do have a father (regardless of what she claims about him, you don't even know if any of that is true), extended family, etc. Nobody is your responsibility in this situation. To continue on with her is for you to self destruct and I'd imagine you've had enough problems already in your life. Don't add on anymore. Link to comment
inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Speaking as a woman, and a mom, I would NEVER EVER EVER let a man move in with me after dating a month when I have children to worry about!! She needs your $$$ and she sounds like a completely desperate, half empty bag of nuts. Yes you should dump her. And on top of all that, it doesn't sound like she's even that interested in you. Well she finds me physically attractive that I know. But attraction is minimal when it comes to a relationship. Link to comment
inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Wow.....more giant red flags....actually not even red flags anymore, immediate deal breakers. Beware of people bad mouthing their ex's. You can rest assured that they'll end up talking about you that way too. It takes two to break a relationship and those who will badmouth their ex's are people who are taking zero responsibility for their role in the situation. Sorry, but this is below the bottom of the barrel and you can so do better. You've been sick for 8 years, so now you owe it to yourself to actually get back on your feet and enjoy life. This woman is going to destroy you and that's about the last thing that you need. Also, please don't let her con you with the whole children thing. They actually do have a father (regardless of what she claims about him, you don't even know if any of that is true), extended family, etc. Nobody is your responsibility in this situation. To continue on with her is for you to self destruct and I'd imagine you've had enough problems already in your life. Don't add on anymore. yeah your right... I know many other girls out there would date a guy like me. I work. No bad credit. no kids. never married. Come to think of it when we talked about this she said I was the perfect target for single moms. not even sure what the means. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Should I run away from this? No, you don't run. You sprint. Link to comment
inf7cted Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 No, you don't run. You sprint. I can run 14 miles per hour on a treadmill. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 yeah your right... I know many other girls out there would date a guy like me. I work. No bad credit. no kids. never married. Come to think of it when we talked about this she said I was the perfect target for single moms. not even sure what the means. Do you have any idea how many single never married no kids professional women in their late 20's early 30's would kill to date you??? I mean you are THE perfect demographic for those women who put education and career and getting their life together first and now they are looking for husband and family. You have value and you have no reason on this planet to get involved with a crazy nutcase user. Link to comment
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