Maike1998 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I am 19 years old and i feel like i am all alone.. i have been thinking about committing suicide since i am like 12 My life is just too hard.. My mom is sick.. for ages now.. i think for 14 years now.. its a miracle that shes still alive .. both her kidneys are not working anymore and she has to go to dialysis every second day We aint got much money at all.. its hard to make it to the next month.. i am working too but i am still a student.. trying to get good grades Theres so much pressure on me.. my dad doenst want to see me and my sister (24yo) ..the last time ive talked to him was like 11 years ago.. Nobody cares how i feel.. I used to have a lot of friens a year ago but my depressions got way harder.. and ive changed because of that.. cant laugh like before.. cant meer friends likfe before.. i am isolated They were not able to manage my change and poof nobody is interested in me Ive got a boyfriend for 4 year now.. st first i felt like he is saving my life. But now i fee like hes not loving me.. he says he does.. but the things he does .. they hurt me.. ive told my mom ,my family.. even 1-2 friends ,AND my boyfriend that i am too sad to live.. that i am not strong enough anymore.. i am just tired of life.. they did not take me serious.. like "oh no, well you are feeling just right now like this" my mom was like "its because of school" NOBODY taught about the fact that i could commit suicide ? My boyfriend thinks i am overreacting.. the last time i was really "sad" he said i am annoying and that he thinks that this is so stupid and things like that.. I feel like beeing in sn empty room.. all the way dark.. cold.. alone.. trying to scream for help but nobody hears it.. ir over-hears it.. I canr handle this anymore I want to scream "help me " like so many times before but i know nobody will recognize it.. i am just a teenager in a bad mood , right? I am thinking about beinh dead.. it would me beautiful.. i dont want anyone to hurt me anymore.. Most people say "oh life is worth living " "it will be better one day" Im tired if these words.. nothing is gonna be better.. people will continue hurting me. Over and over again. I want it to stop Link to comment
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