undia Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Recently both me and my ex got drunk at a party and she told me she still loved me and we hooked up. We broke up because she was having family issues and needed time to sort herself out and we are still friends. I have discussed it with some other friends in the past and they have told me not to go there because we don't match but honestly I don't think we really had a chance to. I have been thinking about her a lot recently after the hook up and I think I still like her too. Should I ask her to try again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Have her family issues changed? Has she had time to sort herself out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Your friends are probably correct. When you match, you just do. There are no chances for that. When you match, and you have problems, it's comforting to have someone in your corner. When you don't match, your SO just feels like another burden on your already long list of problems and so you give them the "it's not you, it's me, I have problems to resolve" line and remove them from your list of burdens. It's problems that bring out incompatibility, not smooth sailing. As for hooking up with your ex, I would not read anything into that. When your break up wasn't bad, it's just easy to do that and comfortable and convenient. You know each other, you've been there before, etc. Doesn't mean you will get back together. All above aside, it's actually on her to reach out to you IF she wants you back since she was the one who walked away stating personal problems. If she is not asking you to come back, it means she doesn't want you back. It may bite, but it is what it is. You seeking her out is you setting yourself up to be used. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undia Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 yeah, she is much happier now. that's one of the reasons why I am reonsidering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undia Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 she is much happier now its all sorted out, and its been about a year since it happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Why do they think you "don't match up?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undia Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 i don't know really, I don't think we really had enough time to figure out what roles we play in the relationship and honestly they didn't know all the context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valavoo Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I think that sometimes we have to look at things ourselves, outside of what our friends might think.Because while our friends can be really helpful, thy do come from a biased point of view [of course! friends!]. I think the best thing to do in this situation is communicate. You gotta talk to that ex of yours and figure out why the hookup happened and if the feelings are still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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