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Contraception advice please.


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Ok, my health isn't perfect. I have Fibromyalgia, Pernicious Anaemia and have had spinal surgery (injury related) and also recent major surgery to remove a huge blood clot (again caused by injury) that also required rib removal, vein graft and stent plus several blood transfusions.

 

My bf and I have been discussing long term contraception options and neither of us want (or already have) children.

 

The pill can cause hormonal imbalance and may induce risk of blood clots, so not at all ideal for me regarding my clinical history. Plus bf is steadfast against me taking the pill as it, obviously, may adversely affect me.

 

He has said several times he could have a vasectomy, however he is 10 yrs younger than me (25) and I doubt Drs would be inclined to accomodate this at his age.

 

So I could be sterilised, however this would be further surgery and bf isn't happy with me undertaking more complicated and invasive surgery than his potential vasectomy, in consideration of my previous and existing health conditions.

 

Please could anyone give an outside perspective as to what they would consider the most fair and effective long term contraceptive method in this scenario.

 

Many thanks.

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I was asking more on general views rather than specifics.

 

Sterilisation holds little/no medical consequence to me, nor a vasectomy for him. It's just he would rather have the snip for me and I'm not sure about having the responsibility of it.

 

I'm really just asking for general yet personal opinions on various methods of birth control from both positive and negative experiences to help me weigh things.

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Have you talked to your doctor about the Copper Coil, IUD? (Not the one that releases hormones).

 

 

 

I'm not a doctor but my daughter has one inserted because of the adverse affects that she suffers from when on the pill and she and her hubby are quite happy with it.

 

I have considered this option however I have had parts of lumbar vertebrae removed along with a residual and remaining ruptured disc, as a common side effect from a coil may be back pain (which I suffer from already) so I'm not sure about it.

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Are you absolutely, positively, 100% certain that you will never want kids? If you have your tubes tied, it is a very difficult (if not impossible) reversal procedure.

 

My opinion, since you asked, is that it's asking way too much for a 25 year-old guy to have a vasectomy, even if you could find a doctor to do it.

 

Which leaves: condoms. Or a doctor's visit, where you can get every available option based on your condition.

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Not general, not specific, OP. No one here is qualified, or irresponsible.

 

I was hoping members who have either opted for vasectomy/sterilisation could offer their own veiws and experiences on this particular subject.

 

I am not asking for medical advice and I want to be very clear about that.

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Are you absolutely, positively, 100% certain that you will never want kids? If you have your tubes tied, it is a very difficult (if not impossible) reversal procedure.

 

My opinion, since you asked, is that it's asking way too much for a 25 year-old guy to have a vasectomy, even if you could find a doctor to do it.

 

Which leaves: condoms. Or a doctor's visit, where you can get every available option based on your condition.

 

Yes, since before I hit puberty I knew I did not want children. I still don't want children, nor envisage a future involving such.

 

I did not ask him to have a vasectomy, he has offered to do so on several occasions as a long term contraceptive option. I'm uncomfortable with that. He isn't, but I am. I have already explained to him that Drs will likely refuse him the snip, which he was disappointed with.

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Well I had a hysterectomy (for medical reasons), and I will tell you, it's a difficult road to take. Not to mention, if you google it, it can really mess you up sexually. Thousands of women report losing their orgasm, or having the cervix removed and thus becoming too "short" for their partner. Tubal ligation is an option, but I don't know enough about it, but I do believe that can wreak havoc on your hormones.

 

I will tell you this: I have my ovaries, so my hormones are "supposed" to be normal, yet I've never had such trouble with weight as I do now. Keeping 5 lbs. off is an act of congress now.

 

I had to go to 5 different doctors to get even one to talk to me about the sexual aspects. It was a lot of investigation. Trust me, when you start reading about it all, you'll want to make sure you have every aspect covered.

 

I know you were asking for opinions, and there is mine on the "female sterilization" aspect.

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I had my tubes tied. Granted, I had it done after my second son was born and at the same time I had a c section. I have to tell you, sterilization was the best thing!

Unlike a hysterectomy it doesn't change you biologically. But my circumstances made it convenient.

I think the procedure now is minimally invasive.

But you might try the coil first and see if you can tolerate it.

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Well I had a hysterectomy (for medical reasons), and I will tell you, it's a difficult road to take. Not to mention, if you google it, it can really mess you up sexually. Thousands of women report losing their orgasm, or having the cervix removed and thus becoming too "short" for their partner. Tubal ligation is an option, but I don't know enough about it, but I do believe that can wreak havoc on your hormones.

 

I will tell you this: I have my ovaries, so my hormones are "supposed" to be normal, yet I've never had such trouble with weight as I do now. Keeping 5 lbs. off is an act of congress now.

 

I had to go to 5 different doctors to get even one to talk to me about the sexual aspects. It was a lot of investigation. Trust me, when you start reading about it all, you'll want to make sure you have every aspect covered.

 

I know you were asking for opinions, and there is mine on the "female sterilization" aspect.

 

I'm sorry to hear of your medical issues and truly hope you have overcome them.

 

Thank you for sharing your advice and personal experience, this was very much the type of reply I was hoping to receive on this matter.

 

I do hope to other members will also share, as it will be much appreciated.

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I had my tubes tied. Granted, I had it done after my second son was born and at the same time I had a c section. I have to tell you, sterilization was the best thing!

Unlike a hysterectomy it doesn't change you biologically. But my circumstances made it convenient.

I think the procedure now is minimally invasive.

But you might try the coil first and see if you can tolerate it.

 

Thank you for responding.

 

Sterilisation does not, as you say, cause biological change and it is very much appreciated for you to offer your experience. May I ask how you found the procedure? Did you have a GA? Any scarring?

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25 is old enough for a vasectomy if that's what the man wants. However, there's no doctors here so you need to talk to a medical person.

 

He would have the snip for me, and that's what I'm uncomfortable about. It's a huge decision. Same as it would be for me to be sterilised.

 

Again, I'm not requesting an opinion from a medical professional, just a general perspective on this type of decision.

 

I just want to be fair, if that makes sense. The medical side is covered, so to speak, I just would appreciate opinions on how others would feel in our shoes.

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Thank you for responding.

 

Sterilisation does not, as you say, cause biological change and it is very much appreciated for you to offer your experience. May I ask how you found the procedure? Did you have a GA? Any scarring?

 

I was already `open' is the best way I can explain it. Just having had my 2nd son, c section. It was preplanned and as I said convenient. I was in surgery already, room was paid for and snip, snip, it was over.

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My opinion is someone shouldn't make a life commitment for someone else unless they are life committed. Ie, no surgery for him on your behalf until you're married.

 

I do not disagree regarding life commitment, however I don't agree a marriage has to confirm it.

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I was already `open' is the best way I can explain it. Just having had my 2nd son, c section. It was preplanned and as I said convenient. I was in surgery already, room was paid for and snip, snip, it was over.

 

Ah, I understand. Thank you.

 

I was also a c-sec baby, congrats on your 2nd bouncing boy!

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Well, honestly I'm not sure what other options you have. You don't necessarily feel comfortable with him having a vasectomy, you don't feel surgery is a good option for either of you (due to the permanence perhaps?), hormones or implanted devices are not right for you and you two don't want to use condoms and spermicide.

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Well, honestly I'm not sure what other options you have. You don't necessarily feel comfortable with him having a vasectomy, you don't feel surgery is a good option for either of you (due to the permanence perhaps?), hormones or implanted devices are not right for you and you two don't want to use condoms and spermicide.

 

Personally, I am comfortable being sterilised as I don't want children and/or he is happy to have a vasectomy as a long term solution. It's just that they are both big decisions and was hoping others who have made these sorts of choices could share their experiences, whether good or bad.

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I was sterilized (Tubal) at the age of 26. I've never wanted children and I have no children. Most people in their 20s have a hard time finding a doctor to sterilize them but you're in your 30s so you may have more luck.

 

In your position, I would start looking for doctors to sterilize you. I'm of the opinion that the person who is the most adamant about the choice to keep kids out is the one who should get sterilized. My boyfriend doesn't really want kids but would probably have them if he married a woman who wanted them. I find children irritating and I don't want any. I'm of the stronger sentiment so now I'm sterilized. I think my boyfriend and I will stay together long term but if we didn't, hey, I'm still sterile so yay.

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Also, wanted to add. "Tubal ligation syndrome" is a frigging myth. The surgery is really small and it just involves cutting or tying your tubes. You're done. No hormonal involvement. People who have problems with tubal are those who went off the pill or hormones beforehand and are struggling to adjusting to life without those hormones. The Tubal itself does nothing to your hormones. It's a physical change. Ovaries stay intact.

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